“But it didn’t.”
“No. We moved constantly.” She’d attended thirteen different schools before graduating. Being ‘the new kid’ over and over had been irritating in itself, just like repeatedly experiencing the cycle of curiosity, acceptance, and desertion got old fast.
“How did you end up here in Nevada?”
“After I graduated, I told Lucian I was moving here to be around the rest of my family.”
“You were sick of flitting from place to place,” Knox assumed, but she shook her head.
“My upbringing wasn’t horrible or something I’d change if given the chance. I liked traveling, it was an adventure, but I wanted to put down some roots.”
She’d wanted a real home, not a motel or a rental house or someone’s sofa. Wanted a place she could decorate and settle in. She’d gotten sick of repeatedly leaving her friends, her school, and her favorite places; sick of missing her family and all their special occasions.
“Do you see Lucian much?”
“He’s never out of contact for more than five months at a time. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a lot for him. He never really embraced the dad role. He had no behavioral expectations of me, and he allowed me to make my own decisions. He believed I should learn through experience rather than through rules. I’m grateful. It’s made me fiercely self-reliant.”
Knox didn’t understand how she couldn’t feel even a slight element of anger or bitterness. When she spoke of Lucian, there was even affection in her voice – the kind a parent would have for a clueless child. “But you weren’t raised. You were the adult.”
“You sound angry.”
“I am. He put his needs before yours.” At that moment, the server entered with their meals. Once he’d left, Knox asked, “Has Carla ever made any attempt to contact you?”
The piece of steak melted in her mouth, and she groaned. “Nope.”
As an almost orgasmic look flashed across her face, Knox’s body clenched. “You don’t seem in the least bit upset by it. Why?”
“I figure if that’s the kind of person she is, it’s better for me that she wasn’t in my life. Be angry at Lucian if you want, but at least he accepted and cared for me in his way. That’s more than she was ever willing to do.”
Thinking it was best that she knew, Knox said, “She has a mate and two sons now. The oldest is twenty-three. The other is sixteen.”
“Yeah, I know, I saw her with them a few times.” Harper sipped at her wine. “Enough about my life.”
Inwardly, he tensed, expecting her to start asking about his life. But she didn’t, she turned her total attention to her meal. And he realized it was because she didn’t see the point in getting to know him as she had no intention of forming the anchor bond. Knox had to wonder if – maybe even on a subconscious level – it was because she didn’t trust him not to leave her. She’d been abandoned by both parents, never had many fixed people in her life thanks to her years of traveling, and quite possibly lacked the ability to trust that anyone would want her bad enough to stick around.
It was then that he recalled what she’d said in the car; that he’d change his mind about bonding once he knew her. So it could be that he was right and she expected him to leave her – maybe not now, but eventually since, to her, people came and went all the time.
If that was the case, he would need to gain Harper’s trust before he had any hope of getting her to form the anchor bond. She would need to be certain she had his complete loyalty, confident that he would be a constant presence in her life. And he would be a constant presence. “You’ll come to know me. You’ll come to trust me. And you’ll see that I can be relied on. Then we’ll bond.”
“Yeah, in your imaginary world.”
Her unimpressed, flippant, elusive air was like a challenge to his demon, who was currently fixated on Harper – and not because she was its anchor. It liked her quiet confidence, her refusal to be intimidated, and the strength that allowed her to withstand Knox’s forceful personality. Knox could admit the demon had good taste, and he made his decision there and then – he’d have her. But one thing he could sense about the guarded creature in front of him was that she wouldn’t be easy to seduce.
He’d been around many women, had thought he knew her gender pretty well. He’d found that the majority had some sort of agenda. Some wanted him because they found a thrill in being so close to danger. Some wanted him because of his wealth and status. He’d also found that seduction itself was one big game. A lot of females played coy and hard to get, while others were very forward.
Harper, however, was like no female he’d met before. She didn’t have an agenda and she wasn’t playing a game. Not once had she flirted with him. He knew she was attracted to him – he could detect the lust building in her, could clearly see the glint of need in her eyes. A need he knew was in his own. But it was as though she’d dismissed their attraction as unimportant, meaningless. Something was holding her back from him. Neither he nor his demon liked it.
Pausing in his meal, he said, “You strike me as someone who prefers it when people are upfront.”
It was true that Harper had no time or patience for mind games. “So?”
Knox leaned forward, wanting her to see the resolve in his expression. “I want you.”