My sister flushed a hot red and fiddled anxiously with the ends of her long hair. “I have a friend who may be more than that, yes.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Why haven’t we met him?” My mom was going into full-on mother mode and all I could do was sit back and watch. Beryl glared at me as I grinned at her, grateful some of the focus was now off of me.
“Yeah, why haven’t we met him?” I couldn’t keep the teasing humor out of my voice.
“Ugh. Because I’m not sure what I’m doing with him. I met him at work. He’s a customer at the bank. He asked me out for coffee and I turned him down. The next time he came in he asked again, and again, until I said yes. He’s persistent and funny. He’s really nice and has a good job. He’s a natural with Joss, and really I think he’s too good to be true, so I’m just waiting for the prince to turn back into a frog or for him to show his true colors. If I introduced him to you guys, that would be admitting that I want him to stick around. I’m trying really hard not to get attached.”
It was my turn to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder for a comforting squeeze. “Nothing wrong with hitching your wagon to a proven winner, sis.”
She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. “Ugh . . . don’t say that. It’ll just make it harder when it all falls apart.”
Neither one of us had ever been very lucky in love. The first man my sister gave her heart to hurt her physically and the first girl that I thought I was going to spend forever with hadn’t been able to handle the dire consequences I faced after I exacted justice from my sister’s abuser. But despite all of that I felt like I needed to remind her that “Some things are built to last and won’t fall apart no matter how much force or stress is put on them. Look at those old beauties I work with every day. They’ve been around for over a century, and while they might be weathered and worn they’re still standing.”
She grunted at me and rose up from the chair. “I don’t know that I’m built that way and I have my kid to think about.” She pointed a finger at me. “And so do you. You might want to rethink putting the moves on the lady lawyer if she’s the one that you think can help you get custody of Hyde. I know you like her, Zeb, but your priorities are about to get dropped and shuffled around with that little boy being at the top of the list. For once you’re going to have to stop and think about what happens if you act on your feelings without regard for the fallout. If you start something up with the girl and things don’t work out, what will that mean for you and your son?” She reached out and flicked me on the forehead right between the eyes. “For once use what’s in there and not what’s in there.” She poked a finger into the center of my chest where my heart was thudding steady and true.
I swatted her hand away and got to my feet, which meant I was towering over her. “I think I need to figure out how to let both have a say. Letting one or the other rule all isn’t any way to live.” I could see it in the pretty lawyer I was currently obsessed with. Sayer was a good woman, but she did things in a deliberate and very careful way that was the exact opposite of how I plowed and thundered my way through life. Her brain was fully in charge of her actions and reactions.
At least it was until I put my hands on her.
When I touched her maybe it wasn’t exactly her heart that was fully in control but there was no doubt her body was eager to tell her brain to take a backseat for once. I kind of hoped that if I played my cards right I could get her heart to have as much say as her brain did. I didn’t want to think about the logic in Beryl’s warning about things going south with Sayer while I needed her to help me iron out the situation with Hyde. I couldn’t think about going through any of this without her there to show me the way. I needed more than her help. I needed her and the calm confidence she exuded when it came to assuring me she could handle helping me get my son where he belonged.
I was a man that constructed and refurbished things for a living. If I was intent on one woman, on having not only her but a life with her at the center of it, then there was no way I was going to build anything that wasn’t one hundred percent indestructible even if that meant getting in there and knocking down some walls and pulling up some of the existing structure. Sayer Cole was a project I couldn’t wait to get my hands on.
CHAPTER 5
Sayer
I was sitting at my desk aimlessly sifting through what seemed like an endless sea of paperwork and case files when there was a light tap on my office door. I pushed the paper that was full of words my tired eyes had blurred together away in frustration and told the person on the other side of the door to come in.
Carla Dragon was an amazing paralegal, and the only one on staff who hadn’t been on my last nerve over the last few weeks. I knew I was extra tense and not nearly as focused as I usually was ever since the state had agreed to have Hyde’s DNA tested against Zeb’s. I knew that I shouldn’t be as personally invested in the outcome as I was, but every day that passed I felt like I was waiting for a giant hammer to fall while we waited for the results to come in. I felt like the answer was almost as important to me as it was to Zeb. Which meant experiencing more emotions that were setting me off-kilter and making me decidedly uncomfortable.
Zeb called pretty much every other day to see if there was any word even though I told him repeatedly I would let him know as soon as the paperwork hit my desk. His anxiety and investment in the outcome of the test only served to fuel my own unease, and I could tell he was chomping at the bit to make things happen, to move things along so that he could get access to the child. I admired it, and him, but there was a tiny little piece of doubt that nagged at a place in my chest because even though I talked to the handsome contractor nearly once a day, he hadn’t brought up getting together for that date he’d asked me about.
Logically I knew the timing was off and that we both had far more pressing things to handle at the moment, but the old uncertainty I had spent a lifetime fighting against because it had been ruthlessly drilled into me that I wasn’t enough, wasn’t worth time or effort from anyone, needled me no matter how hard I tried to push back against it. Zeb wasn’t ignoring me or dismissing me, but the memory of how it felt when someone you cared about did, pricked at my skin.
“Hey, you doing okay? This is the third night this week you’re at your desk well after the rest of the partners have left for the day.” Carla entered the office and took a seat across from my uncharacteristically cluttered desk. My gaze went to the manila folder she had in her hands and narrowed. Carla was a lovely young woman with a sharp mind, quick wit, and a laser focus on the career path she wanted. It didn’t surprise me she was also working late. I knew that currently she was happy being a paralegal at one of the top family law firms in Colorado, but she made it known that eventually she wanted to be the one sitting behind the big, messy desk pushing case files around. She worked full-time for us and also had a family. I had no idea how she was going to make law school happen, but I admired her drive and her confidence that she could handle it all. I needed a little bit of that can-do attitude for myself.