It was like he’d stepped into a foreign country he’d never been to, excitement, nerves and confusion twisting and turning inside him.
Tristan stepped up behind Josiah, his chest touching Josiah’s back. Mateo tried to move his hands, but Tristan grabbed his right wrist, holding it in place.
Mateo’s face... his eyes were hard as they stared back at Tristan, but he knew the anger would break. That it wasn’t true anger to begin with.
“We have a future, Josiah.” Tristan spoke into his ear while he still held Mateo’s wrist, even though his hand was back in place on Josiah.
“Tristan?” Josiah tried to turn to look at him, but Tristan leaned forward, dropping his forehead against the back of Josiah’s head.
“We have a future if you want it.” It was the best he could do.
He thought before that Josiah and Mateo were beautiful together, but now a sudden craving built inside him. He wanted to see them together. Josiah didn’t know what to do, because he loved them both and wanted them both. Like he and Mateo said, they’d both failed him. He didn’t want to fail Josiah anymore. Wanted him to have everything he needed, even if it wouldn’t be forever. He just wanted to take the pain away, and damned if he knew any other way.
Conflicting thoughts warred inside him. This was wrong. So fucked up, because though this was about Josiah, there was more to it than that, too. He didn’t understand the desire stirring within him, but it was there. Jesus, was it there, and he wanted to explore it. Wanted to feel it, lose himself in it, if only for one night.
He locked eyes with Mateo, hoping to tell him what he felt without words. Wanting to see if they could give him this. Take care of him the way they’d both always wanted to do.
Mateo’s jaw was still tight, but he gave Tristan a small nod, the anger in his eyes melting into desire.
That was all he needed before he pressed his lips to Josiah’s neck. “Let us both take care of you tonight.”
Then he hoped like hell Josiah said yes.
Chapter Nine
Josiah
Desire erupted inside Josiah, flames scorching him from the inside out. His erection throbbed behind the fly of his jeans as two hard bodies pushed against him.
Mateo and Tristan.
The only two people he’d ever wanted. Tristan’s lips on the back of his neck, Mateo’s hand on the side, his thumb brushing Josiah’s cheek. He could feel the tension strung between the three of them—every movement careful in this new, unchartered territory.
Was this really happening?
As strong as that hunger busting through each and every one of his walls was, that anger was still there, too. Anger, hurt, confusion. He didn’t even know who he was angry at or why. Maybe himself for wanting both of these men so much. A stronger man could walk away from both of them... but did he want that? No matter what that truth meant, he didn’t.
But this? Lust lashed through him as Tristan gripped his waist, his hands sliding under his shirt.
“Let us make you feel good, Josiah.” Tristan’s breath was warm on his neck, and Josiah found himself leaning back into him.
He hadn’t noticed his head dropped forward until Mateo’s thumb dipped under his chin, tilting it up. “We got you, Jay. Forget everything else. Just feel good. You deserve that—to just feel good.”
Those words shattered any mock resistance he’d felt. This would screw things up on so many levels. It would kill him in the end, but there was no way he could walk away from it. No way he could turn from having both Mateo and Tristan. He never imagined having them this way...but, hadn’t he sort of wanted it? Wished that there was something to tie them all together so he wouldn’t have to lose either of them?
“We deserve it,” Josiah whispered. And they did. All three of them dealt with so much. Didn’t they deserve just to feel good?
Mateo gave him a cocky half grin that he hadn’t seen for way too long before his lips came down on Josiah’s. Josiah gasped into his mouth at the feel of Tristan’s teeth as they bit into the back of his neck.
Mateo kept kissing and Josiah got back into his groove, letting Mateo’s tongue trace and taste every part of his mouth. It was so familiar. He was so familiar. His lips that were a little rougher than Tristan’s.
Josiah wrapped an arm around Mateo, his other drifting behind him to wrap around Tristan’s thigh. He needed them both closer. Needed to know they were both really there.
And they came. Came to him like he wanted. As Tristan’s hand slid down, cupping Josiah’s erection, Mateo moved in so their bodies touched head to toe. He felt Mateo tense up a little when his body came in contact with Tristan’s hand, so Josiah held tighter, kissed harder, until Mateo rocked his hips in a movement that no doubt had his erection rubbing against Tristan’s hand.