For the second time, Mateo didn’t respond how he thought the guy would. He smiled. “You’re really asking me why I’m not doin’ homework?”
Even though every instinct in his body told Josiah to turn away, to say forget it or to leave the room, he made himself stay. Made his eyes continue to lock on Mateo’s. “I...I’m pretty sure I just did, yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do it.”
Mateo’s dark brows rose as if he was surprised by Josiah. A little burst of pride swelled in his chest at the thought. Mateo knew he liked boys, and it didn’t make Josiah run away. He was...well, he was giving Mateo crap about his homework after. He felt like he could fly.
“I don’t see the point.” Mateo shrugged. “Hardly went before. Only did ‘cause it’s what my mama wanted before she died. Otherwise, my dad wouldn’t have liked that it took me away from what was important.”
Josiah tried not to let the shock show on his face. “School wasn’t important?”
At that, Mateo let a loud laugh fall from his lips. As much as he tried not to, Josiah loved the sound.
“Not in my world, kid.”
His pride deflated. Did he always have to put Josiah down? The kid. He didn’t want to be some kid to Mateo. Just as he was about to turn away, Mateo said, “Didn’t mean that in a bad way.”
Now his heart started to race. The light, fluffy feeling came back. What if he was wrong about Mateo? Maybe he had been looking at Josiah the way Josiah tried not to look at him. Because even though Mateo was hard...there was something beautiful about him, too. And he knew, knew that Josiah was gay, and he hadn’t said a word. No one had ever known about him before.
“Anyway, it’s not like I’m gonna be ‘round here forever.”
“Where are you going?” Josiah asked.
Mateo paused before replying, “Brooklyn. The streets. Where I belong.”
“You don’t have to. This could be a fresh start.” Josiah knew nothing about Mateo’s history. Molly and William obviously did, but he’d never asked. He assumed gangs, and he’d obviously been in trouble, but it didn’t feel right. Didn’t feel like the guy who watched over him so he didn’t get beat up every day.
When Mateo didn’t reply, Josiah continued. “We could do it together. Homework, I mean.”
“I’m not stupid. I don’t need help.”
“I know... I didn’t mean... And not because I like...you know, either. I just thought we could help each other. Keep each other on track. Half the time I don’t want to do it, either. I don’t know. I guess it’s stupid.” Josiah turned his head to the side to block his heated face.
“I guess.” Mateo mumbled. “Not like I have anything better to do.”
Josiah’s cheeks hurt his smile was so big.
Chapter Six
Mateo
Mateo grew up always being around people. His dad was the leader of one of Brooklyn’s biggest gangs. They came to Ricky Sanchez for everything, and Teo was the son he groomed to be just like him. And when Ricky couldn’t mold Mateo himself, his uncle Javier did it. He’d seen death and drugs and sex, and participated in most of it more than once. He hid the fear in his eyes and the vomit that crawled up his throat when it came to someone being hurt because there were always eyes on him. Someone was always watching, waiting for Ricky Sanchez’s son to fuck up so they could take his place.
That didn’t mean he liked being seen. Which was why it made his feet itch to run over the fact that he was letting this kid see pieces of him. Josiah had been there right after Teo vomited because of the argument at school, and for the past few weeks they were doing homework together. Josiah was talking more around him and Mateo realized he kind of liked it.
He had that voice in his head that told him to back away. That Josiah was better than him. He’d been around drugs and shit his whole life. He’d witnessed people being hurt—or worse—and did nothing. They were different, and Javier was always there in the background. His father may be in prison but Javier wasn’t, and they had expectations of him. By being here, he was abandoning his “family.” He was turning his back on the gang. The more time that went by, the worse it was. It wasn’t as though he was that far from home, or couldn’t call. Because he hadn’t been lying when he told Josiah that he wouldn’t be here forever. This wasn’t his life, but stepping foot in Brooklyn would be dangerous as hell for him. And he didn’t even have an excuse for what to tell them, either.