Mateo closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of Josiah’s lips as he pressed his mouth to Mateo’s. Fuck, did he want Josiah to win this. Wanted what Josiah said to be possible. But what was he suggesting? They share him? That the three of them be together?
When Josiah tried to pull away, Mateo threaded his fingers through the back of his hair, holding Jay against him as he deepened the kiss. He couldn’t touch Josiah without wanting all of him. They hadn’t had nearly enough time to enjoy each other before.
Still, he pulled away. “Let’s go. I said you’d be back to work on time, and you will be.”
His body went cold when Josiah put a hand against his stomach to stop him. “You can stay. I can get myself back to work okay. But I meant what I said. I walked away last time without a fight, but I’m not doing it now.”
Mateo watched until Josiah was nothing but a figure in the distance. He pulled out his camera and took a picture before he disappeared. It wasn’t until he was gone that Mateo muttered a soft, “Thank you.” He shouldn’t, but he wanted nothing more than for Josiah to not be able to give up on him. And damned if watching that strength come out in him wasn’t sexy as hell.
Every day he swore he would stay away, but still, at Josiah’s lunch time, he always showed up by the water. They walked and talked, like he knew Josiah did with Tristan in the mornings. Jealously crept its way in but Mateo fought to hold it back. Yeah, that was supposed to be his and Josiah’s time. They talked about it years before, but he threw that away when he fucked up with him. Now, it belonged to Jay and Tristan.
But this? Their hour together he damn sure took, even when he said he wouldn’t.
“What are you doing tonight? I was thinking you could come over and have dinner with us or something?” Josiah asked on the fourth day.
Mateo shook his head. “Jay, you can’t ask me to dinner to the house you share with your man.”
“I’m pretty sure I just did.”
Pride and irritation wrestled inside him. “What the fuck is up with you? You’re pushier than you used to be.”
“I might be not be as outspoken as some, but I go after something when I want it.” He nudged Mateo’s arm. “I kissed you first. I asked you to make love to me the first time, too. I went after Tristan as well.”
Mateo groaned. “Do we have to talk about him?”
At that, Josiah stopped walking. “Does it bother you? I mean, really bother you, Teo?”
Mateo let himself remember the few walks he’d taken with Tristan. The similarities he’d seen in the man and himself that he never would have expected. Remembered the feel of his body as Tristan’s lips had come down on his. The way he looked with Jay and the way he was there for him. Crazy as it was, no, it didn’t bother him to talk about Tristan. He wasn’t sure what that said about him. Maybe that he was even more fucked up than he thought.
“No. He’s good for you.” Good in a way Mateo himself had never been.
But that doesn’t explain why I want him, too...
“Teo—”
“I gotta go.”
Josiah opened his mouth to speak but Mateo cut him off. “I’m not giving you shit, okay? I really gotta go. I got a job and I don’t want to be late.”
Don’t ask me what that means... Don’t ask me why I’m putting down roots here when I need to get the hell out.
He could blame it on being on probation, having to be settled somewhere, but in reality, that had nothing to do with it.
Josiah smiled. Dios, that sweet, innocent smile still made him rock hard. Made his heart go crazy, when no one had ever been able to do that before.
“And I have to meet with my probation officer before I go, too.”
The smile slid off Josiah’s face, just like Mateo knew it would. “Does this make me an asshole? I don’t want you to hurt, but I don’t want Tristan to hurt, either. I just...don’t we all deserve some kind of happiness? What if we can find it together?”
The pain in Josiah’s voice ripped Mateo to shreds. “Come here.” As much as he wanted to kiss him, Mateo just wrapped his arms around him. “You could never be an asshole. Not for tryin’ to make people happy.” With that, he pulled away. “See you tomorrow, yeah?” He threaded his fingers through Josiah’s hair, faked a smile, and then left.
Mateo took the bus to his hotel before showering and getting ready. He really would be pushing it to make his appointment and get to work on time. Luckily for him, his PO didn’t seem to give a shit about much of anything besides ushering them in and out so he was doing his job. In the grand scheme of things, Teo’s drug charge wasn’t shit compared to the things other people did. Wasn’t shit compared to the other things he’d done.