CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The Element of Fire
He was suddenly back in my face, angrier than ever. “Is that the only logical conclusion to you?” His wolf eye had succumbed to the beastcall, but his blue eye was shining with emotion, and his gravelly voice was all human. All pain. “No, actually, that is far from the reason I came here. I came here to tell you that I know what you are now, and that I didn’t have to learn this way. I’m going to refuse their offer tomorrow. We would never turn on our allies. And we hardly make a habit of handing over innocent women to the grisly justice of any clan. There was never a time that the druids would have considered accepting such a treaty. Not fifty years ago. Not even seven. I came here because I wanted you to know that. You killed anything we had when you betrayed me, and broke your oath. There’s no going back from that. But I wanted you to know that you-“ he swallowed hard, visibly trying to calm himself, “you were an idiot if you thought I wouldn’t have protected you.”
I laid my hand on his shoulder, but he wrenched away, pacing. The relief I’d felt just a second before, when I’d realized he wasn’t here to take us, left as quickly as it had come. Now I felt fresh a pain that should have been more dulled by the years.
“It wasn’t just that, Dom, and we both know it. You were assumed heir to one of the Arch positions, and your people hated me. The demons of my past were just one thing in a very long list of reasons why it never could have worked. Your people mate with humans, or other druids. I’m neither. You wanted Arch. You lived for it, more than anything. You’ve been preparing for it since you were a child. Your uncle would never have held elections while I was around. And your people never would have elected you to Arch with a mysterious Other as consort. And you refused to take it through combat.” Who was I trying to convince? I wondered. Him, or myself? I didn’t like the answer, so I made my mind ignore the question.
“You’re a fool. Don’t pretend you did what you did as a favor to me,” he said bitterly.
I swallowed hard. “We’re both fools. But I want you to tell me that you could have made Arch with an unknown Other on your arm.” He was silent. “Exactly. I get it. I handled the break-up badly. You have every right to hate me for that. But I didn’t exactly have to return a ring when I left you.”
“What the f**k does that mean?” His voice was a shout. He was back in my face in a flash.
“It means that you weren’t going to give up Arch, and I wasn’t going to make you. So maybe we aren’t such fools, after all.”
“Bullshit. That’s all bullshit. The only problem we had that couldn’t be worked out was your propensity for f**king other men.” I kept my expression blank, but my nails dug into my palms hard enough to draw blood. “At least have the decency to take credit for a decision you made alone.”
I inclined my head towards him. “I take it. I always have.”
He stared at me for awhile. “How was I with you for so many years and I never saw how cold you are? Your element must be ice.” He’d done some research. Not many knew much about the dragon elements.
Each dragon adopted a different element. It was the gnosis to our power. And the focus. The element colored every magic we had. In my clan, fire was believed to be the most powerful element, but I had always been skeptical. Every element could wield equal power in the right hands. Fire simply put on the biggest show.
“Is that a question?” I finally asked.
He just shook his head at me. “I can’t believe you’ve trusted the dragonslayer all this time. But perhaps trust is the wrong word. You know what he’d do if he found out what you are. He couldn’t help himself. An unfulfilled destiny is a powerful thing to come between friends.”
I smiled at him sadly. “Indeed. It’s a problem without a solution. The story of my life.”
“Maybe you like your life like that. I mean, how perverse do you have to be, to be a dragon, with a slayer for a best friend?” He wasn’t being funny, he was being mean, but strangely, it still made me want to laugh.
I smiled wryly. “Pretty perverse, I suppose. No more perverse than the druid King who lives in the desert.” He glared at me for the jab, but was silent. “Are you bringing any charges against him?”
His mouth hardened. “I don’t see the point. He won’t learn anything, and he’s too stupid to be humbled.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.”
We were silent for awhile, and I thought we were done. We didn’t look at each other. “The dragons won’t stop hunting you. None have been born to your clan since you left. I got the impression that your clan was very short on females.”
I shrugged. I always assumed I was being hunted. And I didn’t want to talk about The Purging. “Are you having them followed?”
“Of course. They wait patiently at the hotel for my answer. You should wear more clothing,” he commented, changing the subject suddenly. “You never used to dress like that.”
I rolled my eyes, still not looking at him. “I always dressed like this to work out. I didn’t come here expecting a meeting.”
“Does it work, not looking at me?”
I shrugged, still not looking. “It helps some. I haven’t jumped you, so that’s a good sign.”
“So much has changed, but the wanting hasn’t gone away. Do you suppose it was only ever lust?” he asked. Ouch, that one hurt. I tried to shake it off. His shot had hit it’s mark squarely, though. I only wished it had been aimed to take out my libido.