“There is absolutely no way I could be pregnant.”
The look on my face makes her back off. Finally. She takes the X-rays, then leads me back to the exam room, where Matt is texting. “Jere says to call him after we’re done here,” Matt says, pocketing his phone.
I take a deep breath. Dealing with that X-ray technician upset me, and I’m worried about my knee. It started hurting a few minutes ago. Or am I just imagining that?
The door opens and the doctor walks in, reading a chart. “Annie Winters? I’m Dr. Sanders.”
“Hi,” I say, shaking his hand. Matt and the doctor nod at each other. Dr. Sanders hangs my X-rays up over the fluorescent light, and Matt stands to study them.
“And you’re having trouble with your left knee?” the doctor asks.
“Yep.”
“I’m not surprised. Your chart says you’re running forty miles a week.”
“That’s right. To train for the Country Music Marathon in October,” I say slowly.
The doctor takes my foot in his hands and pulls it toward his chest, extending my leg. I wince. “What have you been doing to alleviate the pain?”
“Icing it, stretching it, and taking ibuprofen.”
“You’ve been taking ibuprofen?” Matt blurts.
“It’s a good anti-inflammatory,” the doctor says.
Matt stares at my torso. “But sometimes it causes stomach problems.”
What? I’ve been taking it for months. Could ibuprofen be the reason my stomach is wrecked after every long run?
“Why didn’t you tell me you were taking ibuprofen?” Matt asks.
“I didn’t know it was such a big deal. I mean, you’ve given me Tylenol before. I figured ibuprofen was okay.”
“Tell me everything you swallow from now on, okay? And no more ibuprofen. Hopefully there’s no permanent damage to your stomach lining.”
“Okay,” I whisper, touching my stomach. I’ll stop taking it right away, but if I don’t take an anti-inflammatory, will my knee hurt worse? “Dr. Sanders, what about my knee?”
“I can see the swelling. It’s coming down, but it’ll go back up when you do another long run.”
I suck in a gasp as the doctor keeps talking.
“It’s the way your knee is shaped. Your bones are misaligned, and when you overuse it, the nerves in your kneecap get aggravated. We call it runner’s knee. It’s not meant for long distances.”
“That’s what Matt’s brother said,” I say with a shaky voice. “What can I do?”
“The best thing to do is rest it. Work on your core strength. Maybe run the race next year.”
“I can’t!”
“She can’t,” Matt repeats after me.
“I have to finish this.”
The doctor gives me a long look, then studies my X-ray again. “There are a few things we can try. I’ll get you fitted for a brace that’ll keep your knee from moving from side-to-side. That’ll help the nerves. But you need to keep it pointed straight all the time, understand?”
I nod, internally freaking out. I have enough trouble reminding myself to keep my feet facing forward! And now I have to remember for my knees too?
“And Matt can work with you on some exercises to strengthen your knee and thighs. That’ll help.” He pulls a deep breath and scribbles something on my chart. “But, Annie? I have to tell you, I’m not sure if your knee will make it through the race.”
I drop my face into my hands. I think of Mr. and Mrs. Crocker. Of Connor and Isaac. Of Seth. All the people that Kyle cared about most. They were all so excited when they heard I was finishing the marathon on his behalf. How shitty would it be if I failed? If I disappointed them?
And as much as I hated it at first, running and training have become a huge part of my life. I’ve made friends with Jeremiah and Matt and Liza. Who am I without this training program?
Matt squeezes my shoulder as I tell the doctor thank you. We make our way out of the office to the parking lot, where Matt grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him.
“Listen, Annie. I’m no doctor, but I want you to know that whatever you decide, I’ll be there every step of the way.”
I wipe a tear from my eye before it trickles out. “But what about your one hundred percent race-day success rate?”
He waves a hand at me. “This is all up to you. I’ll do everything I can to get you there. But you have to keep talking to me. Tell me everything you put in your body.”