“You like to people watch, right?” he asked. “So outside?”
Regina barely acknowledged him. She was in no mood to do any people watching or even be there anymore. A part of her told her she was being ridiculous getting so worked up over something like this, but then clarity kept winning out. The little naïve bubble she’d lived in so blissfully this entire last week had just burst. She should’ve known this was too good to be true. He was too good to be true.
The moment the hostess took their drink orders and walked away Brandon reached across the table and took her hand before she could pull it away.
“That kiss you saw . . .”
He squeezed her hand when she tried to pull it away. Okay, maybe she didn’t want to know more about that damn kiss anymore. Hearing him address it made her sick to her stomach, and a knot was already beginning to form at her throat. Why hadn’t she just let it go?
“It was the only time I kissed her that entire night.”
Regina laughed; although, she felt more like crying now than laughing. Had she really been so blinded by his charm and trying to figure out his inscrutable personality all week that he now thought he could pull this bullshit on her too? She was only glad they were outside and the buzz of the people and cars going up and down the strip was so loud because her exaggerated scoff had been pretty loud.
“Really?” she asked, lowering her voice. Her heart felt completely smothered now because she knew how much kissing went hand in hand with his lovemaking. “So when you took her home and f**ked her, you never once kissed her?”
That did it. She’d officially ruined their evening. She’d taken this from a fairly calm and still-salvageable argument and made it nasty. They could’ve been sitting there enjoying a delectable dessert and then gone home to make beautiful love again. Instead, she wouldn’t even be able to eat now, and she’d probably be spending the night alone for the first time since he’d first spent the night at her place. Worse yet, she felt on the verge of crossing over to that other side, that side she’d crossed over one too many times and was the reason why she’d been on meds for months. She picked up her glass of water, hoping Brandon didn’t notice her shaking hand.
Brandon squeezed her other hand a little harder, closing his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. “This really is not the time or place for this, baby—”
“Don’t call me that,” she snapped, tugging her hand out of his grip. “But you’re right. I don’t think I wanna be here anymore.”
“That kiss was for you, Regina,” he said, very determined. “I kissed her out of desperation. I panicked, okay?”
“What?” Regina peered at him.
Desperation? He looked anything but desperate that night. Regina crossed her arms in front of her, not sure if she was more annoyed or curious now.
“I supposed you took her home out of desperation too?”
“Look,” he said, glancing around, and lowered his voice a bit. “You said it yourself the other day.” He glanced down at her still noticeably unstable hand. “Obviously, there is still a lot that you and I don’t know about each other. But trust me on this one. Please. That girl that night meant as much to me as any of the other girls I’ve never seen again.”
Sitting up a little straighter, Regina tried desperately to regain some of the composure she felt slipping away so quickly. “What exactly did you panic about, Brandon?”
This time Brandon took a sip of his own water, and that made her nervous. Her heart ached to think maybe she really was on to him and he knew it.
“Give me your hand,” he said, gently but firmly reaching his out for her.
If she weren’t in such need to feel instant comfort, she might’ve protested. Instead, she glanced down at his hand, tempted to give in.
“Please,” he added.
She did, trying her damnedest to keep it from shaking, and prayed whatever he said next would make everything better. She wasn’t ready to give this up just yet.
“I told you,” he began as reached for her other hand and squeezed both in his. “I fought my attraction to you from the very beginning. That morning when you confronted me, I already knew I was losing that battle. As much as I was still determined to continue fighting it, I knew the one thing that would make it impossible was the remote possibility that you were attracted to me too. Because of the way I had treated you up until then, I didn’t think you could be. Yet I saw something in your eyes, even through your anger, that morning. Then, when you showed up at that restaurant looking at me like you did, I panicked.” He shook his head with a frown. “It was a last-ditch effort to walk away with my rules still safely intact and my world not being turned upside down.”
Regina stared at him, relieved by everything he’d just told her, except that last part. Before she could ask, the waitress dropped off their coffee and tea, and Brandon put in the order for her slice of tiramisu and a crème brûlée.
Hating that she couldn’t bring herself to even look away from him for even a moment, she chastised herself for the instant heat she felt as he smiled at the waitress sweetly. She’d never been this insecure. Ryan used to flirt with their waitresses openly, and she’d laugh. Brandon was just being polite here. As serious as he was, until that night she saw him with that girl, she’d been certain he never smiled, much less had a flirtatious side.
The waitress had just walked away when Regina asked, “I turned your life upside down?”