“Would it be the worst thing in the world if he lost it? Wouldn’t it be good to be out of his father’s hair once and for all?”
He stared at me with a shocked expression as if I had suggested that we boil Luke’s head. “What—give up his legacy? Are you mad?”
I shrugged and my face went a bit pink. “It’s just—I would be happy with a million dollars. Why does anyone really need that much money?”
“It’s not about the money.”
Bullshit. I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s totally about the money. Look, I understand. Losing that kind of money would make anyone crazy.”
“It’s not about the money. It’s his inheritance. He deserves it. He’s earned it. The money might go to people who don’t deserve it, who aren’t even affiliated with the company at all.”
Despite his assurances to the opposite, I still didn’t think Luke would be as motivated if his inheritance was a few thousand dollars. How does one earn five billion dollars? You can’t. Mr. Pardini could do whatever he wanted with his money. Still, it was an asshole move to deliberately shove your only son out, especially when he had worked so hard his whole life for his father’s approval.
Hell, who am I kidding? He does deserve it. Luke worked his whole life expecting to take his father’s mantle. To have it ripped out of his hands when this line of work was the only one he knew would be downright cruel.
At that moment, Luke decided to rejoin us at the table and I sat tight-lipped, avoiding his gaze. The waitress brought us three steaming pies surrounded by mashed potatoes and a moat of gravy and I soon forgot everything I was worried about. Brandon laughed at me as I sighed in ecstasy with each bite. The steak and ale pie was dripping with decadence; the meat had been slow-cooked for hours so that it fell apart and melted in my mouth. The gravy mingling with the mustard seed mashed potatoes was delicious and I devoured it quickly, burning my tongue in the process. After we finished, we sat for a while and enjoyed the peace of a warm, full belly. Brandon patted his full stomach and stood up to leave.
“Should probably get going.”
“I hope I see you again,” I said, shaking his hand.
“Likewise.”
I don’t know why, but I felt as though I made a lifelong friend. I couldn’t say why I thought this, but we had reached a sort of mutual understanding through both of our attempts to help Luke. I did want to help him in any way I could, even if there wasn’t any money involved.
Luke stepped forward to grasp Brandon in a one-armed hug and then he turned to me as Brandon left the pub.
I couldn’t read his face. “Luke, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know what to say—”
“Don’t be sorry. That was brilliant, even if it was a bit mortifying.”
My cheeks flushed at his praise and they burned even brighter when he smiled at me.
* * *
Over the next couple weeks, Luke made a point to avoid staying too long with me in the same room and I was left alone for hours while he went to work. It wasn’t too terrible. I used the money I earned to travel across England, but it was quite lonely. I visited York by train, refusing to accept Luke’s offers of a hired car to take me there. I visited York Minster Abbey and marveled at the Gothic splendor. I climbed the abbey’s spiral staircase—hundreds of stairs that led to a narrow passage along the abbey’s wall, to another series of steps that finally brought me to the roof. The view was fantastic; I could see the whole town and the castle walls sprawling around the town, encasing hundreds of red-thatched roofs and neat trees. When I left the abbey, I just walked around the medieval town and climbed the ramparts, wishing that I had someone—anyone to experience it with.
On the weekends, Luke and I went out together on dates. We kissed in front of paparazzi, we made out in park benches, and we took trains to Bath, Oxford, to the Lake District. The sexual tension between us was as taut as a tightrope, trembling, ready to snap. It all felt so damn real, but every time we returned to the hotel, Luke acted cold and distant. He separated himself from me the moment we stepped inside, as though he couldn’t wait to be rid of me.
There was an aching hole inside my chest. Even though I was traveling the UK and doing the things I always wanted to, I was absolutely miserable. I no longer enjoyed going out with him—he made me feel even lonelier than I did when I walked alone.
There were times when I thought Luke could sense my simmering emotions. I dropped his hand before we entered the hotel and Luke gave me a sidelong glance, which I ignored. I entered the hotel room and watched him check his phone. I gazed at his hands, lips, and face. I was always holding his hand, feeling his gentle caresses—I felt his body all the time, and yet I longed for him because I knew that his heart wasn’t really into it. He was just going through the motions. Whenever he touched me, it was like a solar flare in my body. I was paralyzed and giddy, and then he would push me aside the moment we were alone and I felt ugly. Unwanted. I was enamored with him, but he could care less.
I would never let him see how upset I was. My insides were bursting with the need to tell him how I felt. Just tell him. You have nothing to lose.
I closed my eyes. “Luke?”
“Hm?”
“I can’t take this anymore.” I looked up as the elevator lights beamed with the sixth floor.
I opened my eyes again while Luke looked at me with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”
Luke sucked in his breath as I closed in on him. I was close enough to see the vein jumping in his throat.
“I can’t go on kissing you every day and acting like it means nothing to me. I want you. I have feelings for you. I can’t just switch them off, it’s driving me crazy.”
He finally looked up from his phone, his mouth parted. “Jessica, I’m just—”
Sadness billowed around me like a cloud. I turned away from him and faced the wall. “Fine.”
A heavy weight settled on my shoulder. His abdomen bumped into my back and I tried to stamp down the swell inside my heart. His fingers brushed aside the strands of hair on my naked shoulder, and just that was enough to make the heat between my legs blaze into a forest fire.
“You never let me finish,” he breathed.
I turned around and he looked at me with a lopsided smirk. I hated that. He bent his head. His hands fell on my head and his lips seared against mine in a slow, long kiss. I moaned into him and his tongue slipped inside, flicking my tongue as if his head was between my legs. As I imagined that, my hands slid around his back and clenched over his ass.