“Whoever is quiet the longest will get a cookie from Uncle DJ!” Dannica announces.
A hush falls across the room and I’m the first one to speak.
“Uh, cookies? Was I supposed to make cookies?”
I hear a quiet laugh from behind me and turn to see Phina standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. “We don’t need you burning the house down. Who wants to help me make cookies?”
The kids immediately forget about the quiet rule and start screaming and bouncing up and down. I wink at Phina and she gives me a small smile, holding her hands out for two of my nieces to grab as she leads everyone down the hall and into the kitchen. My sisters each give me a kiss on the cheek before following behind her, filing out of the room until I’m left alone by the front door with my mother. She gives me a hug and pats my cheek, holding her hand against the side of my face as she searches my eyes.
Not knowing what else to do to bring my Phina back around, I called my mom and told her as much as I could without worrying her too much. She immediately suggested bringing my sisters and the kids over so Phina could have some extra company to take her mind off of things. I knew she would have probably preferred the company of her best friend, but Collin and Finnley were out of town for the weekend and I didn’t want to tell them about what happened over the phone and freak them out.
“You’re a good man,” she tells me quietly.
I look away from her, not sure I agree with her right at this moment.
“Do you remember that time I was mugged when you were back in high school?”
I nod my head quietly, thinking about that night when I was fifteen and my mom was late getting home from work. We got a phone call from the police saying she’d been walking out to her car and had been attacked from behind. The scumbag beat the hell out of her face and broke her arm just to take her purse with all of twenty dollars inside.
“Your father was beside himself. He was angry that he hadn’t been there to help me and he blamed himself for being laid off from his job those couple of months, forcing me to take a part-time one at night,” she explained.
I remember my father coming home from the hospital that night, going out into the garage and trashing the place. He threw a hammer through a wall and cracked his workbench in half by pounding it over and over with his fists.
“I ignored him for a week after I got out of the hospital, but not because I blamed him. I could never have blamed him for a freak accident like that, but I did blame myself. I knew better than to walk out to that dark parking lot alone. I knew I should have asked the security guard to walk out there with me or even call your father to come and pick me up, but I was stubborn back then.”
I cock my head to the side and smirk. “Just back then?”
With her hand still on my cheek, she smacks it a little harder this time.
“Watch it, smartass,” she laughs.
Properly chastised, I wipe the smile from my face while she continues. “My point is, there’s nothing you can do to fix her right now. You aren’t responsible for the things that have happened any more than she is. All you can do is be there for her when she’s ready. Give her time and if she needs space, give it to her. If she loves you as much as you love her, she’ll come back when she’s ready. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready and she’ll lean on you when she needs it. Your Phina is a very strong woman. When someone like her falls, they fall hard and they need a soft place to land.”
She leans up and kisses my cheek one last time before turning to head into the kitchen, where I hear the clanging of bowls and laughter.
Wise woman, that mother of mine. I just hope I have the ability to be soft enough for Phina when she comes crashing down.
The house is finally quiet and the heavenly smell of fresh baked cookies still fills the air. My family stayed just long enough to bake and eat a couple dozen cookies and tell Phina embarrassing stories about my childhood that made her laugh so hard she cried before they helped clean up the mess and went home.
I’ve been lying on my back in the dark, the covers pulled up to my waist with my hands tucked under the back of my head, listening to the sound of the shower in the bathroom connected to my bedroom. My dick hardens at the thought of Phina standing in there with water sluicing down her body, but I force myself to stay right where I’m at. My dick hates me and calls me all sorts of trashy names, but thankfully, I hear the shower shut off and I give my dick the middle finger.
A few minutes later, the bathroom door opens, bringing steam and the smell of Phina’s shampoo billowing out into the room. I hold perfectly still, staring at her silhouette from the glow of the bathroom light before she flips the switch and throws the room into total darkness. I hear her walk around to the other side of the bed, lift the covers and slide in with her back to me. She’s taken to wearing just her panties and one of my old FD t-shirts to bed every night, and even though it’s pitch black in here, I can picture how the worn cotton molds to her body and how soft it would feel if I wrapped my arms around her right now and pulled her back against me.
I stay where I’m at, taking my mother’s advice, even though it goes against everything I believe. She needs to come to me; I can’t force her.
After a few minutes, my eyes grow heavy with sleep. I let them close and right when I start to nod off, I hear Phina speak so softly that I almost think I imagined it. I wait a few seconds when she speaks again, a little louder this time, but still in a soft, barely there whisper.