That did make me smile a little. I knew Asher was being funny because Daddy wouldn’t be standing in the window. Then again, he was probably watching from somewhere.
Asher opened the truck door and held out his hand. Like I always did, I slipped my hand in his and climbed into the truck. This part was real. He was here taking me to school. I should be happy about this. I was being greedy wanting more.
When he was inside, he patted the seat right next to him. “Why don’t you slide over here?”
I moved my book bag to the floorboard and slid over a little. This was a first.
“You know I don’t bite, Dix. Come on, get closer, up against me.”
I continued to slide over until Asher’s hand rested on my left knee. “There. That’s better. I like that.”
I agreed, it was better. Much better.
“I got my smile back,” he said, sounding pleased with himself. “Tell me what you were reading last night.”
I didn’t imagine that Asher was a reader. “Lord of the Flies for literature class. I have to write a report on it.”
Asher nodded. “I remember that. My favorite book we read that year was The Old Man and the Sea.”
“That’s next month’s required reading.”
“You’ll have to tell me what you think of it.”
This conversation wasn’t one that people in a relationship had. Or was it? I had no idea. But I was sitting beside him with his hand on my knee, which was making my heart beat faster. I knew that had to mean something.
“After the game tonight, will you go with me to Jack’s? The team will be there because the food is free. I’d like to have you with me.”
That was a date. He was asking me on a date. Daddy wouldn’t let me go inside Jack’s. But I wasn’t going to worry about that. I would do it anyway and hope Jack didn’t tell, which was obviously a friggin’ long shot.
“Okay,” I agreed.
He squeezed my knee. “Good. I’m glad.”
To me, it was more than good. It was wonderful. Stupendous. Groundbreaking. Even though I could end up being grounded for the rest of my life. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
When he pulled into his parking spot at school, I could see people, mainly girls, turning to watch his truck approach. They saw me sitting there close to him. Not a single female looked happy. It wasn’t my first day arriving in his truck, but it was the first time I ever rode right beside him.
He parked the truck, leaned down, until his lips captured mine. He then kissed me. Really kissed me. The toe curling kind of kiss that made you forget to breathe. My right hand reached up to grab his shoulder. His face tilted and the kiss deepened. The minty taste of his toothpaste was the most delicious thing I’d ever had touch my tongue.
A banging noise stopped us and Asher sighed, pulling back just a little so that he could look directly into my eyes. “Ignore them. Anything they say. Especially Bray. He’s a smartass.”
Before the last word left his mouth, Asher’s door was jerked open. Bray and Brent Sutton were standing there grinning like we were the funniest thing they’d ever seen.
“I’m tired of having to get a fucking ride to school. You can do this shit with us in the truck. Dix don’t care, do you, Dix? Hell, I’ll even drive and you two can suck face the entire way to school.” Bray Sutton was dangerous, sexy and dark. Very different from his friendly, good-natured twin. You’d think they were born on different continents, if they didn’t look exactly alike.
“Move out of the fucking way,” Asher snarled.
“I’m serious, I’ll drive and make comments. We can throw the other three dipshits in the back and let them air. You two can then go at it. Just give me a warning before any sexy shit starts. I might have to pull over and watch.”
“Jesus! Shut the hell up!” Asher yelled, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “I’m sorry, Dixie, but you already know there’s not an excuse for him. He has no filter.”
I was smiling. Giggling, really. These boys had been in my life for as long as I could remember. I knew them all. Every single one. Though I’d only loved Asher from the start.
“It’s okay,” I assured him.
Asher briefly kissed my lips. He got out of the truck, pushing Bray back, then held out his hand for me.
“Always knew it would be you two. Steel makes more sense, but she only noticed you. Ain’t that right, Dix?” Brent asked, with his friendly smile in place.
I blushed and Asher pulled me against him. “If you two assholes don’t leave my girl alone, you’ll all be walking to school.”
They went back and forth with each other. I could hear them, but their words weren’t registering at all. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the fact that Asher Sutton had just called me his girl. I didn’t stop smiling all day.
Asher Sutton
HER BEAUTIFUL FACE crumpled from my words and I hated myself for that. I hated the air that I breathed. That all I knew how to do was hurt her. When all I wanted was to cherish Dixie. Love her. Make her happy.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No,” she repeated, tears flowing freely down her face. “I don’t believe that. You’re pushing me away. Trying to hurt me again. I won’t listen to you. You’re lying. This hurts you, too. I just can’t figure out why you’re doing this. Why you’re destroying us both.” She then took a step toward me. I took a step back. I didn’t trust myself that close to her. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms. Tell her everything would be okay, which I knew it would never be.
“Please, tell me. Tell me why you left me. At least give me that, Asher. I gave you everything and you threw it all away like it meant nothing to you. I loved you and you just used me and left me. You were the only man I wanted. I thought we were forever. You said we were forever. That you would never want anyone else. That I was everything to you.” She was crying uncontrollably now.
“You were!” I roared. I couldn’t stand here any longer and let her keep believing she’d meant nothing to me. I knew I let her down. I knew I’d crushed her. I knew all that. But this had to end. “You were it for me. Dammit, Dixie, you probably always will be. But we can’t be. There are things you don’t know that make anything between us impossible. Things I won’t tell you, things I’ll take to the grave because I can’t hurt you anymore. I did hurt you and I’m sorry. I will be sorry for the rest of my life. But you’ll move on and fall in love with a guy who can love you back. Stay with you forever.” I paused as Steel’s white truck came around the house. He had to face her now. This had to be finished and done. “And Steel can’t love you either.”
“Steel loves me,” Dixie replied, her voice cracking again.
“Of course he does. Anyone that gets a chance to know you loves you almost immediately. You’re . . . you . . . Dix. You’re you.” I was going to say too much. I stopped talking and clenched my teeth as Steel parked his truck and climbed out. He looked pale. Like he’d been sick. He had to be stronger than this. Facing this shit was something no one should ever suffer. But we had to, thanks to the man we once thought hung the moon. He’d left behind a legacy of lies. One that would leave me soulless and hollow for the rest of my life.
“Steel, what’s wrong?” Dixie asked. The concern in her voice made me jealous. I was being ridiculous, Dixie was my sister, and I was still being jealous over her. This disgusting, twisted, unfair life that our father had thrown our way was so fucking insane, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.