Then it was over.
For a moment I did nothing more than simply sit there. My body was replete, satisfied, and yet my heart was torn. I wanted this, I needed this - needed him - and yet at the same time, I hated it. Hated the need - hated him.
Hated me for not being strong enough to resist what my soul craved.
I pushed away from him, grabbed my clothes, and walked to the door. My hand was on the door knob when he said, "Same time tomorrow, then."
I didn't say anything, just opened the door and walked out.
And yet I knew that, come tomorrow, I'd be back.
Chapter Eight
I found a bathroom and quickly cleaned myself up, then got dressed. The receptionist bid me a cheery goodbye as I left, and I somehow managed to drag up a smile and a nod as I went out the door.
Once in the car, the shaking began, and for several seconds I could do nothing more than grip the steering wheel against the reaction. God, how was I going to get past this and not have it destroy everything I held dear? I really didn't know, and that frightened me more anything fate had thrown at me so far.
I needed someone to talk to. Someone who stood outside my own little circle, but who knew me well enough to understand. And there was only one person who fit the criteria.
Dia.
I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed her number. She didn't answer, but her phone clicked over to message bank, and her sultry tone said, "I'm with a client at the moment, so please leave a message. Riley, if you need to talk, I'll meet you at the usual place at five-thirty."
I smiled as I hung up. Dia was a powerful - and famous - psychic, and this wasn't the first time she'd anticipated my need to talk to her. Obviously, whatever vibes I'd been sending out into the universe were strong enough for her to pick up.
I threw my phone back into my handbag, then started up the car and headed for the Directorate.
Kade did something of a double-take when I walked into the office. "Well," he said, leaning back in his chair and giving me a wide grin. "Don't you look deliciously summery. Who'd you dress up for?"
"No one special." I dumped my bag on the desk and plopped down on the chair. "How did you go at the clubs?"
He shrugged, his gaze lingering on my legs as I crossed them and slid forward towards my desk. "It seems that neither women were patrons at the same club. Crowley preferred Shades, and Bailey was a regular at Indigo Desires and Dark Arts."
None of which I'd heard of, but then, I wasn't a part of that desperate little world. I leaned forward so the scanner could check my eye, then clicked into the system to do a search on the plate number Kye had given me. "I supposed the managers didn't notice anything unusual about either woman in the week leading up to their deaths?"
"Got it in one." He shifted, clicking the mouse, then added, "I went to Dante's, too. The owner wasn't in but I talked to the bartender. He's never seen either woman."
"Which doesn't mean there isn't a connection between your case and mine."
"I still think it's a coincidence, nothing more." He glanced at the screen again. "How'd it go with Vinny?"
"She claims to know nothing about the deaths, and states that killing her energy sources like that is nothing more than wasting seduction time and effort."
He raised an eyebrow. "And you believe her?"
I hesitated, and wrinkled my nose. "I don't know. That woman is a consummate liar and I can't use telepathy in her den. "
"So we keep a watch on her?"
"Yeah, though I've got to clear it with Jack, first."
"Clear what with me?" Jack said, as he stalked into the room.
His expression was dark and my stomach sank. It surely meant another murder had occurred, and we really didn't need that right now.
"I want the current observation on Vinny expanded to a full time watch. She claims she's not connected with the unsolved deaths, but I'm not sure if I believe her. I think we need to see who is coming in and out of her den." Because she might be a vampire, and might have the usual daylight restrictions, but those restrictions didn't mean she couldn't be involved in some way with these killings. "Even if the murders aren't Vinny's handwork, they're happening on her turf and I can't believe she doesn't know about them."
Or that she wouldn't be using that knowledge to her own advantage. Vinny, after all, was all about climbing the financial ladder. And if someone was here with her permission, they'd be paying for the privilege.
"You'll have to arrange the day shift watch between you, Kade and Iktar. Rhoan's on another case right now, and we can't afford to have him off it. And make sure your watch is not at the expense of the other investigations." He stopped in front of the coffee maker, grabbed a cup and began filling it up. The smell of semi-burned beans filled the air and I wrinkled my nose again. Jack didn't seem to care as he took a sip then turned around to face us. "What sort of progress have we got on the beheading cases?"
"I have another possible witness. He gave me the license plate number of a car he saw taking off from the area at the time of the murder."
"That's a start." Jack paused, his gaze meeting mine. "Cole told me about the mess at Dante's this morning. Well done on that."
"Thanks," I glanced at the computer as the search finally spat out the name and address of the car owner. I transferred the information across to police records and started a cross-check search, just to see whether my hunch that the car had been stolen was correct. "I did hear that our beheading victims - and Dante Starke - are all members of the Melbourne vampire council. Is that true?"
He studied me for a second, his green eyes giving little away. "Where did you hear that?"
I raised my eyebrows. "The source doesn't really matter, does it?"
"Did Quinn tell you this?"
"No. He gave me a general background on the council, but not specifics. I know he's an advisor, like you."
"You are?" Kade said, surprise in his voice.
"In my capacity as Director of the Guardian division, yes." Jack's gaze flicked from Kade back to me. "Who sits on either the local or greater council is not something we advertise. There are few outside those two circles who know."
"As you said, the councilors themselves know, and that information in available in their minds for those who know how to grab it."
"So who stole it and told you?"
I hesitated, knowing the answer wasn't going to make him any happier. "Kye."
"Well, that explains the party dress," Kade murmured.
I gave him a filthy look, but the damn man gave me an unrepentant grin, and I knew I was going to be subjected to an interrogation later.
"And what the hell was he doing hanging around Dante's?"
"He's working for a man who's not too happy about the fact that his wife is a blood whore."
"You warned him off killing the woman?"
"I did."
"Good. If the kill proceeds, we'll nab him. At least it'll mean one less monster of the streets."
I didn't say anything. I hadn't told Jack that Kye was my soul mate, but it was interesting that he used nab instead of kill. Maybe Quinn had mentioned it.
"That still doesn't explain how the bastard knew our victims - and Dante - are councilors," Jack continued.
I shrugged. "Apparently he got bored during the stakeout and started reading vampire minds. Haven was one of them."
"And you believe that's all he did? Because it's a bit of a damn coincidence that we have a hired killer hanging about Dante's at the same time we have a rash of beheadings."
"He denied beheading them. I believe him."
"And you confirmed his denial by reading his thoughts?"
I hesitated. "I actually can't. He's a siphon, remember, so he basically steals the strength of my own shields."
I didn't mention that I didn't even try - that I'd been too scared to try. Jack would never have understood reasoning like that.
"Meaning you can't be one hundred percent certain." Jack shook his head. "I want to know his movements. Grab a skin-tracker from research and place it on him."
"He'll find it - "
"Not these he won't."
I wouldn't bet on it, but I wasn't about to argue about the point. Not when Jack had that look in his eyes. "If our victims were councilors, why weren't we told? Surely it has some relevance?"
"Why would it? No one knows who the councilors are just so they can't become targets."
I frowned. "So how does the daily council business get run? There has to be some sort of public face for the council, doesn't there?"
"There's a general office if people wish to bring something to the council's notice. All decisions are filtered down the ranks via telepathy from the old ones."
Quinn was an old one. Was he one of the relayers of information? Somehow, I just couldn't see it. It seemed too passive for someone who'd once been a cazador.
"But it wasn't just Haven and Gateway. There's the other one - "
"Who we believe is Norman Garrent. He didn't report to the meeting last night, and hasn't been sighted for several nights."
"So, we do have three dead councilors. That suggests a pattern to me."
"Now that another one of them - Harvey Bastie - has also been found beheaded, I suspect you're right." He took a sip of his drink, and grimaced. But not, I suspected, because of the taste of the coffee. After all, while he might prefer the top shelf stuff, he didn't care what it tasted like, as long as it was hot. "Cole and his team are on their way there now. I want you to follow. Bastiel's housekeeper was killed as well."
Meaning it was possible her soul was hanging about for a chat. "I gather you - or the greater council - is currently in the process of warning the remaining members of the Melbourne council that there could be a psycho after them?"
"They knew after the first beheading."
It was a damn shame we hadn't. I blew out a breath, then glanced down as the computer beeped. The car had been stolen. The owner probably wouldn't be able to tell me much more than what was already in the police report, but I guess it still had to be chased up. I grabbed a pen and wrote down her name and address. "After Bastiel's, I'll head over to Vinny's and start the watch, but I've got a meeting with Dia at five-thirty. Can we get one of the night shift guys to take over after five?"
He frowned. "I'm not sure that this is the sort of case Dia can help us with."
"Right now, with no solids leads, I'm willing to give it a go. "
"Just don't sit there on my time drinking coffee and chatting about the weather," he said heavily. "Or I will take it out of your salary."
I grinned. "As if I would do that."
He harrumphed and walked out. I glanced at Kade. "You available to do some watching tomorrow?"
He grimaced. "It's not my favorite thing, you know that. Besides, I thought you wanted help with the beheadings? I can't do both."
He could if he really wanted to - but even as that thought crossed my mind, I knew I wasn't really being fair.
He had just as many unsolved cases on his plate as I did and Jack would be all over him if he dropped everything to help me.
Plus he had a family and babies to go home to, and I didn't.
Not yet, anyway, I thought with an inner shiver.
God, how would that change my life? How would it change my attitude to this job and the risks it involved?
It had taken me a long time to admit I actually enjoyed being a guardian, but the chase and the danger were extremely addictive. It was in my blood now and giving it up would not be easy.
But giving up one dream after another hadn't been easy, either, and having a baby was the last one left. The only one that I really had any chance of fully fulfilling.
It should have been an easy choice, a simple one. But it wasn't.
I liked what I did. Loved what I did. We made a difference, and that made the risks and the dangers worthwhile. And however much I might have fought become a guardian, it made me feel like I'd finally found something I was meant to do.
And yet, I didn't want any child of mine growing up without the love of a pack around him - or her - and that pack had to be more than just Liander, however much he might cherish our offspring if the worst happened. Rhoan and I only ever had our mother growing up, and however much she might have loved us, it wasn't pack. We were never considered pack, and that isolation had echoed through our relationships both as children and as grown-ups.
I didn't want that loneliness - that feeling of never really belonging - for any child of mine.
"Earth to Riley. Come in, Riley."
I blinked and glanced at Kade. "What?"
"I said, I'll do a couple of hours, but that's all I can manage."
"Great. What about around lunch time?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Another hot date with a certain werewolf?"
"It's not a date." More a battle of wills. "I don't want anyone killed, Kade, so I'll play his games until he gets tired of them or I can find something to pin on his ass and get him out of my hair."
"I'm sure if you tell Jack about the threat, he'll handle the situation appropriately."
"Maybe, but I'd prefer to handle it myself."
"Then I'll just hope that no one you care about ends up getting hurt, because I do not trust that man."