I am like her, more like her than I ever imagined I would be. I love them both for opposite reasons. I hate myself for that.
I fall asleep against the rough bark with the images of the things I cannot change and the things I can, floating around in my head.
When I wake I use the rising sun to navigate my way back to the breeder farm. The area is starting to feel familiar, that bothers me.
Leo and I hike through the woods like we did before, only now I barely notice the birds or the animals and I don’t feel the freedom of just the two of us. Now I feel the weight of other people in my life. I understand the word baggage and how it applies to people. Somehow I have gained baggage in the short time I have known them all. There is only so much room inside of people for things. I see that now. I used to have room for many things. Now those things seem unimportant and the people have taken over the limited amount of space I have.
I hear trucks along the road and I grimace, the plan had been flawless but I never accounted for the infected. It was a mistake. One I will never make again. As much as their numbers have dwindled they still manage to destroy the things we love.
Through the light of the canopy I can see the roof of the breeder farm. I don’t have a plan. I pull my backpack off my shoulders and grab the handgun I was given by Mary when we left the camp. It's her favorite. She had said it was Australian. I smile and remember her favorite features were the seventeen rounds and silencer. Anna looked like she was going to pee her pants when Mary handed it to me. The cold polymer gun feels heavy in my hands. I grip the handle that was clearly fitted for a man. I adjust my hand to compensate for the large grip. I promised Anna I would bring it back and she could use it. I want to keep that promise.
I sling my bow over my arm so the quiver and it are easily accessible and put the extra clip of ammo in my pants pocket. I stuff the card that opens the locks in my other pocket.
I leave the backpack on the ground and take a deep breath. I take my first step from the woods and feel the sickening fear inside of me subside as my instincts take over. Inside of me are animal instincts. They were born in a world I wasn’t. They take over when I need them to. They've taught me how to survive. I have learned it is the most important part of the world I live in.
My feet crunch on the short dry brown grass. My eyes narrow and plan for the moment I am spotted. I move quickly and as silently as I can. I get close to the building and recognize the door in front of me instantly. It is the door I was brought to. I run along the side of the building to the place where I left the building. The huge bins are lined up. The still air stinks like a cloud that is stuck in a valley.
My feet move quickly along the large part of the garbage lot to the staircase that leads to the door I came out of. I never in a million years imagined I would be trying to get back in.
I pull on the door before I have to shoot the lock. It opens with a hard pull. My heart pounds. I look in with my gun ready. No one is inside. Whoever left there last never closed the door properly? Inside it looks as it did when I was last here. The hose with the nozzle like the one my grampy had is sitting as if no one has been by to touch it. Leo saunters in sniffing and watching me. I close the door. The door inside has no weird scanning thing for the card. I turn the handle and the lock clicks open. It's one sided.
I look both ways down the hall before I creep out. Leo and I leave the garbage room and walk down the hallway. It's only early in the morning. The staff tends to get to work at around nine. The clock on the wall says seven eleven. I smile and remember it was a store. I called it the slushy store. My stomach growls but my animal instincts kick in and push my smile and hunger away.
I hear a rustling of papers and take a breath. The footsteps inside of the room on my right sound heavy. I glance in nervously. A man in a white lab coat is looking for something frantically.
I look at Leo and wink. He drops to his belly against the wall and waits. I hold the gun up and round the corner.
When he looks up I don’t recognize him.
"I'm one of you." His words are fast.
I look him over. He looks like a doctor. He doesn’t look shiny like a citizen of the city.
"I worked with Marshall. I'm helping the rebels if that’s who you are."
I put my finger on the trigger and take his pass from his desk. I check his door. The pass must be used to get out. I tear his phone out of the wall and rip the cord out of the back.
"Sit. " The large older man sits at his desk.
"Leo." Leo stalks in and growls.
"Push your chair back."
He does and Leo rests his growling face in the doctor's groin.
"That’s a fucking scary dog lady."
"He's a wolf." I mutter and tie his hands to the armrests on the chair. "If you are one of us you'll need proof you tried to stop me. This looks convincing." I finish the knot and smack him in the eye with my gun. He winces but doesn’t cry out. His eye is red and swelling instantly.
Holding his pass I walk to the door and look both ways. Leo makes a grunt and leaves his groin.
"There is a destruction level in here."
I glance back, "What?"
"You have to come back and get me out before you detonate."
I nod.
He sighs, "In case the infection ever makes it in. It's new. Every building has one now. The infection got into a building in the south. We have a way to wipe the building. All the breeding institutes have it. It's in the basement, in the far left corner when you come off the elevator. It's a time-release detonation bomb. The building implodes like how they demolished buildings, before."
"How can I get the women out first?"
"Each wing has a pool. It's their best hope. It's where we were told to go in case of detonation. The building has an alarm. The minute you set the bomb the alarm will go off.
"Like a fire alarm."
He nods. His eye is watering and swelling.
"I will come back for you." I take a doctors coat off the back of his door and shrug it on. Leo and I walk out again and look around. I need to get the women out before I blow the building. The pool sounds like a bad idea but I don’t see any other hope. If I set the alarm with too much time they could stop it from blowing up the building.
I try to remember the way back but I realize it doesn’t really matter. I need to get them all out. I have to go to every wing.
I see a nurse ahead of me I recognize and follow. I assume she is on a night shift. She leads me through a doorway. I stay far enough behind that she doesn’t pay attention to me or the giant wolf behind me. We end up in the hallway that has the windows to the garden. The place I used to escape.
"Hide Leo."
I open the door to the garden and let Leo in there. He leaps in and hides in the garden.
The nurse goes through another doorway and I break into a run. I arrive at the first door and open it.
"Get up and wake up the girls next door."
A very pregnant redhead wakes with a start and looks at me startled, "What?"
"The infection has gotten inside. Everyone needs to go to the pool. Immediately. We're doing a lockout."
She waddles out of the bed and starts banging on doors.
I walk until I get to another door that needs my pass. On the other side of the door there is another hallway with a kitchen and garden like our side. I run and open the first door, "Wake up and help wake the other girls. You have to tell them the infection has reached us. We are all going to the pool. RUN!"
Two women get up and start gathering their babies. This is the baby hallway. I hear babies starting to cry as I make my way to the next door with a scanner on it. When I open it I see a man talking to a young girl on a couch. He's rubbing her leg and shaking his head. I raise my gun and take aim. They don’t see me. His hand squeezes her thigh and my finger pulls the trigger before I reason with myself. His head jerks back. Blood seeps down between his eyes. She sees the blood spray on the back wall and screams. She screams louder when she sees me.
I put a finger to my lips, "The infection has gotten in. Tell everyone to wake up and get to the pool. Hurry. They're destroying the building."
Silent tears roll down her cheeks, "He was such a kind man." She whispers.
"If you want to stay here with him feel free. You will be dead shortly if you do. Then you can be together. Forever." She's up and running before I have to say another word.
I knock on another door just in case she decides to be a moron.
I wake a young girl with a swollen belly. She can't be older than Anna. I gag a little, "Everyone needs to wake up. The infection has spread here. Everyone to the pool. Wake everyone and go there now."
I go to swipe the card to open the next door at the end of the long hall but it opens. A shiny woman with a pretty face frowns, "Who are you?"
I lift the gun and pull the trigger before she has a chance to scream. She drops to the floor. I step over her and see another nurse. I know I am in the little kid section. I shoot the nurse in the back of the head. I look back and see a girl with brown hair who has a slightly swollen belly, "Come and help the small kids get out."
She follows me but stops when she sees the dead nurse.
"They're going to leave us here to get the infection. The alarm is going to sound in a minute or so. They plan to blow the building up. The pool is the best bet apparently."
She bites her lip hesitantly. "You are a doctor?"
"I'm one of you. I was on the women's side. They're going to let us die."
She steps over the nurse, "I never liked that bitch anyway." She smiles at the small girl in front of her, "Hey you need to come with me okay."
I turn and walk back. Every hall I pass through has women running scared. Nurses are on the floors trying to calm everyone. I shoot the few I can hit without injuring anyone else. It makes the screaming worse.
I round a corner and hear a woman speaking. "When the alarm sounds we know then that it's an evacuation. Not until then."
I sneak my way behind her and run to the garden where Leo waits. We leave through the other door. I feel lost.