“Yeah. Rick said you had to be naked to shift.”
“I can get out of my pants and shirt . . . after I shift . . . if you just undo my belt.”
Eli gave me that little nonsmile, but I saw the worry in his eyes. “And here I was hoping I’d finally get to see you naked.”
“Wish on, Ranger Boy.”
He chuckled softly. “I adore you, you know. If you die on me, I’ll be seriously pissed.”
That idea rested on me for a moment, as heavy as my silver-lined jacket. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. For all you’ve been in a funk for weeks like some hormonal PMS woman, we’re family now. So don’t die.”
“PMS woman.” I giggled. “Puma Monster Skinwalker. Panther Marshmallow Sabertooth.”
“Yeah. Funny.” He pulled off both socks, leaving my feet pale blue and vulnerable. He stared at them as he said, “You have to shift.”
“Okay.” Which seemed a totally stupid thing to say after a declaration of familyhood. I should tell him I adored him back. But I didn’t. I just blinked at him, puzzled. I have a family? “My arm hurts.” I looked down and saw a lot of blood. “Oh. Yeah.” I looked at Eli. “I have a dangerous job. People keep trying to kill me.”
“Yeah. Been there. I took off your vamp collar. Once you shift, Rick says you need to eat, so he’s bringing you some raw steaks. But you need to do it fast. I haven’t called it in, but the neighbors will have heard the shots fired.”
“If I shift,” I mumbled, “I can’t shift back to human.”
“What?” He looked stunned.
“I’ll stay a cat until sunset. That’s the soonest I can shift back.”
He looked at his watch. “It’s an hour to sunset. What the hell am I going to do with a mountain lion?”
“Be dinner, if the steaks take too long to get here,” I deadpanned. And then giggled.
Eli shook his head, as if shaking away an insect or something he couldn’t control. “What do I do to help?”
I raised my good hand and gripped the gold nugget. In the distance I heard sirens. I frowned. “Did you take pics of the dead vamps?”
“You’re going into shock and you’re worried about pictures?”
“Money.” My lips weren’t moving right and felt numb. I licked them, and my tongue was dry, sticking to my lips and pulling on the cracked skin. Not good signs. “I have a family to support, you know.”
I thought about the snake in the heart of the mountain lion tooth. And dropped into the gray place of the change.
Painpainpain. Like claws of bigger predator, ripping at bones. I saw Eli back away from gray lights and black sparks, moving like prey. Looked down at Jane’s body. It was dissolving like snow in summer sun. Becoming Beast. Pelt and claws and killing teeth.
Magics healed and reshaped. Becoming Beast.
I panted. Pushed paws against floor, rising to sit. Pushed out of remaining Jane clothes. Drew long, thick tail around paws. I was cold, like winter snow and ice had caught me on hunt far from my den.
“Holy sh—” Eli stopped, his breath like prey breath, fastfastfast. “Jane?”
I hacked. Not Jane. Beast. Jane sleeps in soul home. But Eli did not understand. He took another step back, and I chuffed with laughter. Eli was hunter, but showed proper respect to Beast as better hunter. I chuffed again, rotated ears to him, and lay down to show disinterest in prey sport. Did not want to eat Eli.
“Steaks are on the way,” Eli said.
I said nothing.
“Pretty pussycat.”
I looked at him and he laughed, smelling of nervous sweat and uncertainty. I yawned, showing big killing teeth and boredom all at once. Was good to remind other hunters and prey that Beast had big teeth.
“You really are beautiful.” I looked away, indifferent but listening. I liked humans who admired properly. “You’re not going to eat me, are you?”
Humans were stupid. I was showing clear disinterest but he did not understand. He was still alive. He should see what I was saying.
I heard a car stop out front. And moments later heard Rick call out. “Eli?”
“Up here, back of the building, up the stairs.”
Rick’s feet pounded on the steps and he stopped at the top, taking in the room, the dead vampires, and settling on Beast. I panted to show some interest.
Rick said, “Hey, Jane.”
I put ears back and hacked. Not Jane. Am Beast.
Rick opened bag and tore plastic. Smell of warm cow meat filled room. Last time, Rick had brought dead pig meat, but cow was good too. I stood and padded partway to Rick. When I stopped, he came the rest of the way and set cow meat on floor. I settled beside it and ripped into meat, swallowing fast. Was hungry.
Saw movement near stairs and growled low, snapping at meat faster. White wolf stood there, watching. He moved into room and my growl went deeper. My food. Wolf stared to growl, but Pea chittered and he stopped. Pea climbed from wolf’s back and scampered over to me. She sat on floor and watched, head tilted to side. She did not have big-cat eyes, but she had big-cat teeth. She yawned to show her teeth and smiled, mewling softly, asking nicely. I batted a small piece of cow to her, and she settled to eat. I growled once more to wolf and pulled cow between paws to eat.
Sirens sounded outside. Sound of humans entering house. Rick went downstairs to talk to police. I still ate. Rick was gone long time. Eli stood at top of stairs, guarding.
Belly full, I stretched and yawned. Human males were talking. Not looking at Beast. I nudged Pea with nose. Pea jumped to Beast’s back and held on to pelt with sharp claws. Together we walked slowly to stairs, not looking at wolf. Wolf was sitting like dog, back legs spread wide. Wolf looked stupid, like big stupid dog. I stopped close and sat, looking away, so wolf would not think I had plans. Wolf looked at me from sideways eyes and turned head to study me. I did nothing. Wolf slowly reached big head toward me. I did nothing. Wolf sniffed me. I did nothing.
Then I struck. Lifted paw, claws out, and swiped wolf nose. Wolf yelped and I bounded across room, whipped around, and hacked with laughter. Wolf was bleeding on big ugly dog nose. Fun!
I sat and lifted paw, licking off wolf blood. Feeling happy. Pea chittered at me, sounding like Jane, scolding, but Beast was smarter than Pea. Pea did not like Beast grooming off were-blood. But were-blood was in belly, not in cut, and I would shift back soon to Jane. Were-taint in belly would not hurt me/us. But was thinking that were-blood in cut might not hurt us now.
Beast was always better than Jane and big-cat together. Was even better since we talked with Hayyel-angel. Angel did something to wolf to make him stay wolf. Did something to us I did not understand. Pea did not know this. Jane did not know this. Was mostly sure that Leo’s Mercy Blade did not know. Beast was smarter than all of them.
Rick came back upstairs. “We have to get her into the SUV. Jane, will you take a leash?”
I narrowed eyes and snarled. Beast will not walk on leash. Beast is not stupid dog or stupid wolf.
“Guess not,” Eli said. “How about I carry you?”
I thought about that. Have not been carried by humans in many years. Would be fun. But not Eli. Wanted mate to carry. I stood and dropped head. Stared at Rick with big-cat eyes, walked slowly to him, shoulder blades rising and falling, stalking him. Rick stared, giving nothing away with human eyes. Were-scent of black leopard was strong on him. Full moon would be soon, and his scent would be strongstrongstrong then. I walked around Rick in circle and stopped to sniff one hand, his fingers curled in fist, as if to hold in something. Huffed and blew warm cat breath on his fist. His fingers uncurled. Was nothing there to hold on to. I breathed on Rick skin. Liked smell of Rick. I stopped in front of him and sat. Lifted one front paw, then the other, and placed both on his knees. Waited.
“If you think I’m carrying you, you got another think coming, Jane,” he said.
I stood up on back paws, stretched to full height, and put front paws on Rick shoulders. Put muzzle in his chin and sniffed. Moved nose to his neck and sniffed. I purred.
Eli laughed. I ignored him. “She wants you, man.” Eli left, taking stairs, making much noise.
I snuffled Rick, whiskers tickling his neck. Jane said he had taken new mate. I did not smell new mate. Jane was wrong. Rick’s hands rose to Beast and he scratched belly. I whuffed and laid head on his shoulder.
“I don’t understand you, Jane. And if you think this fixes things between us, it doesn’t. But if you want me to carry you, I will.” His hands came together and made cradle. I leaped and landed in his hands. “Holy hell, cat. You’ve put on a few pounds.”
I hacked in amusement. I am bigger. I like bigger. Would like to be a holy hellcat too. I put chin on his shoulder and breathed his scent. Then I rubbed scent glands over him. Mine . . .
Rick carried me downstairs and into street. He opened essuvee of Eli and I jumped inside and lay down on backseat. Had been a good day. I/we had hunted with Eli. I/we had killed vampires. Had eaten dead cow meat. Had swiped wolf nose. Had been carried by Rick. Good day. I closed my eyes and napped.
I came to in the back of the SUV, lying naked under a blanket and feeling great. It was dark out, and the vehicle was parked at Esmee’s under the trees, ensuring my privacy. I had no memory of my time as Beast, but the pain in my arm was gone. Clean clothes were folded on the floor in front of me, and I dressed in the dark—panties, jeans, and a thick sweater that smelled of Rick. I held the knit to my face and inhaled. I hated that I didn’t have him in my life now. There was so much missing. I closed my eyes and buried my face in the sweater for a moment. Only a moment. I had no intention of grieving for him anymore.
I pulled the sweater over my head and pushed my feet into the oversized flip-flops, which also smelled of Rick. I’d like to think he was scent-marking me, but I knew better. I pulled my hair out of the way and secured it in one fist. That was one thing about shifting: I always came back with clean, smooth hair, no tangles. I opened the door and slid from the vehicle, into the dark of Esmee’s backyard. I padded to the back door, pausing when I scented Eli. I stopped, sniffing until I located him sitting still as a statue in the dark. “Thanks for saving my life,” I said.