"No. Get the f**k away from me. I don't have a father. Have never had one."
"Lissa, that's not true. I care about you. As a father should. The beatings are generally accepted, the vampire recovers after a night or two, the lesson is learned and we go on."
"Merrill, if you say that to me again, I swear I'll find a way to take myself out and you won't be close enough to do anything about it next time. Don't ever try to justify a beating to me. Ever." I left my bedroom then, turning to mist as I ran out while Merrill was shouting behind me. I went straight to the roof. I didn't need to go out a crack and I'd only just realized it. I went through the ceiling, then through the attic and right through the roof. Rematerializing, I sat on the roof for almost half an hour, sobbing at times, before Merrill came to find me. He sat down nearby but didn't touch.
"Lissa, I was only trying to explain why beatings have been given in the past. There wasn't anything to justify what was done to you, either this time or during your childhood. Charles has managed to pull the court records of your case. We have the testimony—all of it." Merrill's blue eyes were begging me to understand.
"That's just great," I wiped tears off my cheeks with newly formed fingers. "Now everybody f**king knows."
"What do they know, Lissa?" Merrill's voice was gentle.
"That I got my mother killed," I wept. "My own f**king father claimed I wasn't his so he beat her, the whole time. Then, if he had any strength left, he'd start on me. If she tried to leave him, he'd beat her harder until that last time, when he finally hit her so hard he killed her. He beat me, then, blaming me for making him kill her. Explain that to me, Merrill. You're the old vampire. Tell me why people do this." My voice broke on a sob.
He sat there for a long time, silent. "I don't know," he said quietly. "Sometimes people look for someone else to bear the blame for their own mistakes or shortcomings. That blame can turn to anger and the anger to violence. Unfortunately, it is often leveled against the helpless and the innocent. Monsters exist in every race, Lissa. You have seen more than your share of them already. Gavin and I would never have agreed to the beating if we'd known what we should at the beginning.
His admission made more tears fall. They'd agreed. No wonder Gavin hadn't approached me for days. At least he felt guilty over it. After the fact.
"On another note," Merrill said, changing the subject, "Henri and Gervais, the two Enforcers who are also misters, wish to meet with you in two nights. They are intrigued with the way you turn to mist so quickly, and would like to speak with you about this. They desire to make their changes faster. Wlodek has given permission for this meeting to occur and has requested that you work with the brothers during an entire evening. Therefore, you will be spending the day as well."
"Perfect."
"Lissa, Wlodek will not allow you to huddle in a corner or wallow in self-pity. You must lift up your head and go."
"Until I'm as hard as he is?" My sleeve served to dry my face. The King of the Vampires required my presence, two nights hence. I didn't care how good he looked in a suit. He'd watched while I was beaten and I was naked, at the time. "At least he could have let me keep my clothes on." I didn't tell Merrill that someday, Sebastian and I might have a showdown. I could walk into the sun afterward if it was necessary. There was a taint about him, too; it just wasn't from being Saxom's get.
"Sebastian wasn't supposed to hit you in the head but the removal of clothing is customary," Merrill murmured.
"And how many females have they beaten?" I asked sullenly. Merrill didn't answer for a long moment.
"None until you," he replied. He stared straight ahead, unwilling to meet my gaze.
"Did it make them feel proud? Did they get their titillation, watching a naked female get beaten into the ground? Did it?" I was upset all over again and that wasn't what Merrill intended, I could tell.
"Lissa, I can't speak for the others but I was horrified. Horrified, too, that they let Sebastian perform the beating. None of the others wanted anything to do with it. Radomir flatly refused and he was the one Wlodek approached first. When Sebastian hit you in the head and knocked you unconscious, punishment was given to him, then. He disobeyed Wlodek."
"Yeah? I'll bet he got a hard slap on the wrist."
"Wlodek assigned him one blow in exchange for the one to your head."
"Oh, whoopee," I muttered.
"Gavin delivered it. One blow, to the back of the neck. It knocked Sebastian out and broke several vertebrae, according to Derlin.
"Fucker," I said.
"Gavin?"
"No. Sebastian. You need to watch him, Merrill. There's something wrong with him." I stood up, brushed myself off and then ran down the slope of the roof before Merrill could stop me, leaping off the edge and turning to mist before I ever hit the ground. If Merrill had a heartbeat, I figure it would have stuttered over that stunt.
* * *
"She frightens me," Merrill informed Wlodek the following evening. He described how Lissa had come off the roof the night before.
"Then place compulsion not to do those sorts of things," Wlodek replied.
"I am hesitant to place any compulsion on her at the moment. There is such fragility there and some of it is my own making."
Wlodek cursed a little in Greek. "What should we do, then? The law is the law."
"We didn't just punish her. We humiliated her. She thinks everyone there received some sort of sexual gratification from her beating."
Wlodek cursed again. "Did you tell her it is customary?"
"It didn't make any difference, but yes. And when she asked how many females had been beaten, I told her the truth."
"She isn't stupid."
"No. She is not. I realize that most of the others might have a pretty face and little else, Wlodek, but Lissa is different."
"I know that as well as you." Wlodek hung up.
* * *
"Come on, I like this one." Greg pointed to a human hair wig displayed on my laptop. He'd informed me that I couldn't go around bald all the time or wearing my hats because it was spring and summer would be coming soon.
"I like this one." Franklin pointed to a different wig with shorter hair. I had no idea human hair wigs could be so expensive. I was used to walking past a window in the mall with all the synthetic wigs on display, many of which sold for less than a hundred dollars, U.S.
"What about this one?" I tapped the screen, indicating a third option. "And it won't be embarrassing or anything if it falls off."