Go on, I says. I’l catch you up.
No, says Ash. No. Oh please, no.
There ain’t no other way, Ash, says Ike.
Jack says, Saba, why don’t you let me—
I said I’l catch you up, I says.
They hesitate, lookin at each other.
Saba, says Ash.
Go! I says.
They turn their horses an leave. I pul a arrow from my quiver an fit it to the bowstring. My hands is shakin.
Epona’s on the at roof. She runs around, lookin every which way fer escape, but she’s trapped. The two Tonton’s at the top of the drainpipe now. They pul theirselves onto the roof. They reach fer their shooters. Start to move slowly towards her. There’s more Tonton arrivin below. They move out to surround the Palace. Epona looks over her shoulder. Sees the two Tonton comin towards her.
Epona looks over her shoulder, like she sees somethin behind her. She turns back agin. She sees me.
Suddenly Epona spots me at the edge of the trees. The world slams to a stop. There ain’t nuthin an nobody else. Jest Epona an me an the sound of my heart.
Beat, beat, beat.
She nods.
She nods.
An it al happens slowly. So slow, I can see the blink of her eyelids. I can see her lips move as she takes in a breath.
She starts to run towards me. She throws her arms wide open an lifts her face up. She leaps.
Tears blur my sight. I wipe ’em away. I lift my bow. I take aim. Epona smiles. She nods.
She starts to run towards me. She throws her arms wide open an lifts her face up. She leaps of a the roof. She soars through the air. Fer one last moment, she’s free.
That’s when I shoot her.
Th’others is gone on ahead with Lugh. Ash waits fer me.
The clouds clear the moon. I see the tear tracks down her face.
Hawks take care of each other, she says. No mat er what that means. It should of bin me did it, not you. But I … I’m sorry, Saba. I’m sorry.
She was here because of me, I says. I had to be the one. It’s right that it was me.
The clouds lift. The wind dies down. It’s a beautiful, clear midsummer night.
We ride north at a good pace. Head fer the meetin point where we sent Tommo an Emmi to wait fer us with Hermes. We move downhil , out a the mountains the whole time. As we drop down, the ground changes. It’s drier, rockier. The trees is smal er now. Scrubby pine, juniper an some cot onwood.
It didn’t take long fer me an Ash to catch up with Jack an Ike. Then Jack an me traded horses so’s I can ride with Lugh.
He ain’t woke up yet. He slumps back heavily aginst my chest. I feel his breath go in an out. My arms ache from holdin him upright.
Lugh’s here. I got him. He’s safe. I cain’t quite believe it. I dreamed of this so many times. Lived fer this moment, only this moment, fer so long. With a cold emptiness inside of me. A Lugh-shaped space that cain’t be l ed by nobody else. An now he’s here, back with me, everythin should be okay agin.
But it ain’t.
My whole body’s numb.
Epona. Fer the rest of my life, every time I close my eyes I’m gonna see her leapin o a that roof. I’l hear the sound of the arrow singin out a my bow towards her heart.
Jack fal s back to ride beside me.
Are you al right? he says.
I says naught.
Nobody should ever hafta do what you did, he says. I know it don’t feel like that now, but you did the right thing by her. The merciful thing.
It ain’t right, I says. She’d be alive now if it warn’t fer me. She should never of left Darktrees. My voice comes out thick, clogged.
Epona made her own decisions, says Jack. She wanted to come. She knew the risks. We al did. Nobody blames you.
I’m sick of death, I says. I seen too much of it.
We al have. He reaches out, puts his hand over mine. It’s gonna be okay, Saba.
This ain’t finished yet, I says. They’re gonna come after us. I’m right, ain’t I?
Most likely, he says. But me an Ike gger we got a good couple of hours’ head start. Pinch ain’t gonna go nowhere til he gits the oods in the chaal fields unner control.
I set him on fire, I says. Accidental y.
Nice touch, he says. Don’t s’pose you could of kil ed him?
What was it Ike said? The devil ain’t so easy to kil ? No. I don’t think so.
Too bad, he says. Stil , it might buy us a bit of extra time.
I take a deep breath. Sit up straighter. Let him come, I says. I ain’t come al this way jest to let that bastard win.
That’s the spirit, he says. That’s my girl.
We ride on in silence.
Saba? Lugh’s voice. Hoarse. Confused. Saba? Is that you?
A jolt goes through my heart. Lugh, I says. It’s me. I’m here. I got you.
Yer real y here, he whispers. He takes my hand an kisses it. Tears start to my eyes.
He’s awake! I cal out. Lugh’s awake! I pul up my horse. Him an me’s ridin at the rear. Th’others wheel around an gal op back to join us.
Jack swings hisself down.
D’you think you can stand? he says to Lugh. I’l help you.
Who’re you? says Lugh.
I’m Jack. A friend of Saba’s.
I’m another one, Ash says. The name’s Ash.
Me too, says Ike. Ike Twelvetrees.
Lugh glances around. I never knew you had so many friends, he says to me. Thank you. Thank y’al .
Jack helps him down. I slide to the ground.
We’l leave you two to say hel o, he says.
After they’ve moved away out a earshot, it’s jest me an Lugh. We look at each other. We stare at each other fer a long long moment by the bright white light of the midsummer moon.
His face looks thinner. He looks older. Harder. My heart twists.
My golden brother. Stil so beautiful. But changed. He ain’t that Silverlake boy no more.
Are y’al right? I says.
A bit dizzy, he says. But … yeah, I’m … I’m good.
A bit dizzy, he says. But … yeah, I’m … I’m good.
Good. I … Tears start to my eyes. Rol down my cheeks. I dash ’em away. Sorry it took me so long, I says. I got … delayed.
There’s tears on his face too. He takes a couple of steps towards me. Holds out his arms.
I run at him. I throw my arms around him. I hug him to me fiercely. I’m weepin.
Lugh’s arms go around me slowly. Lightly. Like he ain’t quite sure I’m real. Am I dreamin? he says.
No, I says. No. It’s real. I’m real. Here. Feel. I hug him even tighter. Then he clutches me to him. We hang on tight. I found you, I says. I said I would an I did. I did. I found you.
They told me you was dead, says Lugh. They said they kil ed you an Emmi.
An you believed ’em? I says.
Not at rst I didn’t, he says. At rst, I kept thinkin … she’l be here soon. She said she’d nd me. She always keeps her word, she’l nd a way. So I waited fer you. I waited an I hoped an I kept on hopin … fer a long time. But you didn’t come. An I thought … I know Saba. She’s so gawdam stubborn th’only thing that ’ud keep her from comin is if she was dead. That’s when I started believin what they told me. An then I stopped hopin. That was the worst bit. When I thought you was dead. When I didn’t have no hope.
You real y think death ’ud keep me from findin you? I says. You know me bet er’n that.