"Wow. This is really complicated," I said.
"I want to show you who you were before, Lissa. And there is a reason for this, you just have to trust me," Conner sighed. "It isn't to hurt you, or bring up old wounds. It's just to show you what you can be in the future. You need to see this."
"Is this gonna be awful?" I asked. "I've seen enough of awful, lately."
"It may be painful, but remember that you are here now and not there then. Does that make any sense?" Conner gave me a small smile.
"I'm not sure, but we'll skip over that part," I said, shivering. Connegar squeezed me gently, offering comfort.
"My son loves you and he'll be the one bending time. We'll be there with you, holding your hand, Lissa."
"What if I freak?" I was suddenly gripping Connegar's shirt in my fist. I was terrified, and thinking I must have been awful in my previous life to deserve what I'd gotten in the current version.
"Do not be afraid, little rose," Connegar said and bent time and folded space before I could object.
It was awful. As awful as it could be, and if Connegar hadn't been holding onto me, I would have misted away and gone somewhere else. Anywhere would have worked, just to get away from it.
We were on Le-Ath Veronis, and the Ra'Ak were there. The city was on fire and thick smoke billowed through the streets. Buildings exploded and collapsed, sending glass, cascades of bricks and bits of masonry flying everywhere. It was similar to what I'd seen on the High Demons' world—with the screaming and noise of buildings and structures collapsing. The Ra'Ak were killing the few vampires and comesuli who remained, and there I was. I knew it was me—the Vampire Queen—fighting them off as best she could. She didn't have the talents I had; she was using her speed, her claws and her will to slice into them. Her clothing was in tatters as she carved through necks and was blasted away more than once by Ra'Ak dust. More vampires screamed and died from contact with the poisoned scales and teeth of the Ra'Ak. The Queen Vampire pulled herself up and started fighting again. Comesuli were swallowed up by feeding Ra'Ak and the Queen went after those monsters next. She was hit; a long gash down her arm and side and still she fought, trying to buy time for the fleeing comesuli.
"I don't want to see this," I buried my face against Connegar's neck.
"You need to see this." It wasn't Conner beside us any longer—it was the Guardian. Light and white flame shone around her, and I was compelled to look as the Queen—me, in my former existence—went after another Ra'Ak who was chasing comesuli. A vampire attempted to help her, but he was hit and crushed. The language the Queen spoke was one I'd never heard, but I understood it easily.
"I will take you all down, I swear it!" the Queen shouted as she sliced into another Ra'Ak who darted in, attempting to bite her in half. He shrieked and leapt back, while two more came to take his place. It was those two that killed her; one got a bite in and flung the Queen onto the street while the other crushed her body beneath his weight. It was awful. The comesuli died and the remaining vampires died. They had no will left after their Queen fell. They'd died when she did.
When I was able to lift my head away from Connegar's shoulder, we were on the Larentii homeworld and Conner was no longer with us. "Little rose, that was long ago," Connegar soothed. Falaca grazed and bleated about us in their mountain meadow, while I sniffled and wiped my face with shaking fingers. Connegar trilled for me and it helped, but I couldn't get the images out of my mind. If there had been Ra'Ak in front of me right then, they would have died. No matter what the cost to me, they would have died. Out of all the Ra'Ak I'd seen, only one had set aside the murderous tendencies they all seemed to have. Gilfraith. I wondered what had made him different. It didn't matter, I suppose. He was far away from them and safe, I hoped.
* * *
"My love, where are we going?" Gilfraith walked alongside Fox, who strode purposely through a narrow alley in London. Fox wore a stocking cap that hid most of her dark curls and her face held a grim, determined look.
"Gil, it's all right, I just need to pick something up," Fox replied absently. "They knew I'd know about it. It's here, somewhere."
The note lay atop an overturned rubbish bin. Gilfraith didn't like the scent about it, but he didn't argue—Fox would know whether it was dangerous. "What is it?" He turned worried eyes on his mate instead. Nearly a century before, he'd attempted suicide—by offering himself to the Saa Thalarr. He hadn't manufactured poison, to keep from harming them. He'd remembered—after a time—just who he'd been while humanoid. He found everything about the Ra'Ak (and himself) repugnant, and was searching for a way out. The Saa Thalarr sent to kill him was Fox. Instead of challenging him, Fox retained her humanoid shape and cautiously approached his Ra'Ak, placing gentle hands on his scales. He'd turned to Ra'Ak, hoping the end might be swift. Instead, the softest touch was offered and he was lost immediately. Now, he worried for his beloved mate.
"Gil, you have to trust me," Fox lifted the envelope. She was Ka'Mirai. The ones who'd written the note didn't understand her power. Yes, she could make things change. It just didn't happen all at once, as these believed. Fox was gifted with the ability to travel the time lines. And she could reason out which small events needed nudging in one direction or another, to create a cascade of events. Eventually, things would come out the way she wanted—had she not accepted the invitation to the Saa Thalarr. Now, she could not interfere and remain among them."Sometimes," Fox sighed, "I only have to place the information in the proper hands to make things come out right." She shook her head sadly and tapped the envelope. "So many people dead, just to get their point across." Gilfraith brushed away Fox's tears.
* * *
When Connegar took me home after spending time on the Larentii homeworld, I discovered that Radomir had taken Gavin home. Flavio had a short assignment for him, but he left a note telling me he loved me and would be back as quickly as he could.
"Will you be all right, little rose?" Connegar asked before he left.
"I hope so," I said. He kissed me before folding away. I tried reading but that didn't work. I was too restless now and unable to get Le-Ath Veronis out of my head. Not only had the vampire planet fallen, but the werewolf planet and who knew how many others. Surely, the Ra'Ak hadn't always been so bloodthirsty and evil. Or perhaps it was because Kifirin was asleep at the time. Did his kind get tired? Maybe it was because he was the only one on the dark side while there seemed to be plenty on the light side. Maybe I'd get to the bottom of it someday. Meanwhile, there was someone I wanted to visit, and chances are if it were night where he was, he might be awake and accepting visitors.
Refizan had a gate. I found that by Looking, so I gated in instead of folding. The gate wasn't far from where I'd seen the Ra'Ak appear the first time I'd seen them. Something bothered me about that fact, but I put it out of my head for the moment and turned to mist to find Gabron.
The brothels had moved; they were along the riverfront now, as the city had shifted and yawned while I'd been away. There was a beautiful view of the waters in front of Gabron's brothels—I'd found them by Looking. Some things hadn't changed—women still wandered around the vestibule either naked or scantily clad when I walked inside. There were naked males there too, as well as some dressed suggestively. I tried not to blush, but wasn't sure how successful I was at it.
"May I help you?" A male vampire came forward to speak to me as I gawked at my surroundings like a tourist.
"Is Gabron here?" I asked. I could see in this one's eyes that he was just about to send me on my way when he drew in a deep breath. Yeah, that seems to get their attention every time.
"I will see if Gabron is available," he left so fast that papers and debris would have swirled in his wake—if any of those things had been present, that is. I waited less than two minutes before Gabron appeared at my side.
"Lissa, my Queen, what may I do for you?" Gabron looked as carefully groomed as he always did, his blond hair styled and brushed away from his forehead neatly while gray eyes examined me and a smile tugged at his lips. He had my arm quickly and was ushering me down a long hall. Sounds of sexual activity came through several doors we passed. Gabron would never apologize for that. I'd come to accept it, I think.
"I just saw something horrible today and I wanted to get it out of my mind," I told him. He hid a smile as he led me through the door into his office and then through another door that scanned his fingers before allowing us through. We walked into his private quarters—I was sure that's what they were. Gabron closed the door quietly behind us.
"You said nearly those same words to me once before," he said, leading me down another hall until we came to a sitting room. Gabron seated me comfortably and then poured out two glasses of wine laced with blood. We sat there together in silence for a while, both of us sipping our wine and gathering our thoughts.
"I love you," Gabron said unexpectedly.
"What?" I asked, turning toward him.
"I loved you the moment I met you. Your scent overwhelmed me and shocked me at the same time; a female vampire, walking down a street in my city and I had no idea how she had come to be there."
"Gabron," I leaned my head on his shoulder and slid down farther into the sofa, "is Solar Red still out there somewhere?"
"If that foul religion is still alive, it is very well hidden," Gabron snorted. "It was outlawed across the Reth Alliance, and alliance troops were sent out to uproot it wherever it was. That was two hundred years ago, my love. I have not heard of it since."
"Yet the Ra'Ak are still around," I observed.
"We know that very well; I thought I lost you when the memory returned," Gabron sighed. "I was quite depressed. Erland Morphis came and demanded I come out of it. He said there was still hope—that he and I might work our way into your affections."