“Come inside. Stay,” I say softly, forcing my forehead to his and waiting for him to open his eyes. He never does, but only nods yes, and reaches around me, lifting me to him. He presses his lips to mine, sucking in my bottom lip, and pushing his way inside with his tongue.
He’s carrying me, and I know he can’t do it long, but I won’t stop him. He walks us quickly back to my apartment, and as soon as I feel we’re inside, I slide from his arms against the warmth of his chest and kick the door shut behind him. I want to kiss him again, but he has his hands on either side of my face, his thumbs stroking against my cheeks tenderly.
“I choose you,” he says, his body shaking once with emotion. He sniffles and shakes his head from side to side, pushing his lips together tightly. “I was wrong, and I didn’t mean what I said, Charlie. I was so f**king hurt—it was like watching my dad die all over again. But I don’t give a shit about the shop, Charlie. Everything I care about—the stuff that really matters, the shit that goddamned f**king matters—walked out the door when I turned my back on her.”
He holds my gaze for the longest time, taking tiny steps closer until our noses touch, and our lips tickle against one another. Our breathing is in sync, and I want to taste his lips so badly that my own tingle from withdrawals. But he doesn’t kiss me yet. He looks from eye to eye, like he’s reading me from the inside out, searching for my doubt, so he can destroy it.
“I choose you, Charlie. I’ll always choose you. And I don’t think I can sleep alone again, not knowing how your lips feel, or knowing how your heartbeat sounds. I can’t do it, so please…let me choose you,” he says, his hands sweeping my hair from my face, and cradling my head.
I grip his wrists and look right back into his eyes, and they look lost—almost terrified. I want to bring the blue back, and I can’t fathom not seeing them every day.
“Stay. Stay here, with me. Keep me safe, sleep with me every night, talk to me until we dream, make love to me before sunrise—just don’t leave, Cody. I’ve only fallen in love—in real love—once, and I’m never going to get over it. I don’t want to get over it. I need it. I need you—to breathe,” I say, watching his eyes, waiting for them, waiting for his smile. It comes just as his lips touch mine again, and I hear a whisper of laughter mixed in, the low rumbling kind that lets me know he’s truly happy, and I can’t help but smile in response.
“I was so scared, Charlie. I tried to come here for days. I swear, the lady two doors down thinks I’m a stalker,” he says, running his hands over my face slowly, with the gentleness of an artist. We’re standing in the middle of my stark living room, but it feels like I’m at Cinderella’s ball the way he’s swaying me slowly side-to-side in his arms.
“It was like I knew, though,” Cody continues. “Like I knew that somehow…I don’t know…giving you back your desk? The thing you lost? That somehow it would make losing the shop less important. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s like we’re connected—like we share a heart—and healing yours somehow makes mine beat stronger, too. That’s stupid, isn’t it? I sound like a crazy man.”
I smile at him, and run my fingers through the scruff on his chin as he presses his lips to my fingers to kiss them. I’m smirking, and I know Cody thinks it’s because of what he said. He turns a little red and squeezes his eyes shut tightly, embarrassed. But that’s not why. I’m grinning because everything he said is true. And I can’t wait to show him everything I’ve done, and I can’t wait to watch his heart come back together in front of me, in my hands.
Chapter 22: Jake’s
“It’s not that I have trust issues, I just don’t do well with blindfolds. I feel dizzy…oh, oh, Charlie, stop. I think I’m going to be sick. Is this really necessary? I mean, it’s New Year’s Day; isn’t your office, like, closed and shit?”
Cody has been rambling and trying to talk his way out of his blindfold for the last 30 minutes. I probably could have just brought him up, and then made him close his eyes when I showed him the video presentation, but then he’d know Gabe and Jessie were here, too—and I just feel like I need to make this a big deal.
“Charlie? Charlie? Charlie…I’m being calm. But I swear to god, if I don’t get to take this off in the next minute, I’m going to become hard to deal with,” he says through gritted teeth. I can’t help but laugh, even though I know he’s not entirely joking. I think Cody might be a little claustrophobic, because I can see the sweat beading along his brow.