“I know. Fuck, Dani, I know. The last thing I want to do is hurt either one of them.”
“Then it’s time to plan. Let me call Cohen and let him know I’m going to be awhile.” She stands up and walks to her purse. I laugh when she gets on the phone and starts to tell Cohen why his wife isn’t going to be home until after dinner. I have a feeling the next time I hit the gym with Cohen he’s going to try to kick my ass for this unintentional cock block.
“Dani, you should go home.” I tell her when she hangs up with a smirk.
“Nope. Trust me, he got what he wanted out of that.”
I laugh and try not think about how Cohen is going to win here.
“So . . . what’s the first plan?” she all but screams when she sits back down, rubbing her hands together with a weird grin on her face.
“You’re way too excited about this.”
“It’s not every day your best friend—the all but confirmed bachelor—falls in love.”
“Do what?” I question.
“Huh? Where are you confused?”
“The love part.”
“Such a guy,” she gripes. “What the hell do you think is happening here? Awe, I’m so proud. My big boy is growing up! Wait until your mom hears about this.”
That gets my attention real quick. “You will not tell my mom anything about Megan and me until there is a Megan and me, got it?”
“Whatever, Lee. Let’s go. Come on. Time to plan.”
“I’m not in love, Dani.” Fuck. It is love.
She gets that stupidly weird grin back on her face and nods her head, “All right, Lee. Not in love, got it. So, let’s talk game plan.”
Choosing it’s better to ignore her than continue fighting her on something she’s made her mind up about, I move on, but now that she’s mentioned it, I know deep down that the feelings I have for Megan are teetering on the edge of love. One thing is for sure; I wouldn’t admit it to Dani first. When I say those words out loud, Megan will be the first one to hear them. Love? It’s close, so fucking close.
With a big smile on my face, I spend the next thirty minutes explaining everything I know about Megan, how she’s been living half a life, and how she is consumed with fear to let more people in. In the end, I think Dani is more confused than she was when we started.
“Dani, she’s afraid to feel. Don’t you get it? She lost her husband and you and I both know that’s the biggest issue here. She was alone long before Cohen and Chance dragged her into our group and even then she was alone until she let you in. Tell me, has she let any of the other girls in?” I wait until Dani gives me a sad smile. “I didn’t think so. She might talk to the girls, but you’re the only one that she’s let in.”
“That doesn’t mean much, Lee. She might have let me in, but she still won’t really talk to me. Not about anything major. I’ve tried. I know her and Jack were close, like we are close, they had a friendship long before they got married, but past that she doesn’t talk about him. I know she didn’t have a good childhood—or hell, life before her and Jack got married. No details though. Nothing past the basics.”
Jesus, this is going to be harder than I thought.
“One step at a time. First things first, she has to remember what it feels like to be alive, Dani.”
“What? What the hell does that mean?”
I smile and I know Dani can see my determination because she gives me one of her own. “Now I bring her back to life. One day at a time.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Nah, more like determined.”
“Well, what’s this grand plan entail?”
“What’s the best way to feel alive?”
“Lee, I don’t think you can just have sex with her every time you see her. Things might get sticky . . . no wait, that’s a bad word for it. Gross.” She makes a gagging noise and wrinkles her nose up.
“Shut it,” I laugh. “Not quite, however when that comes she definitely will remember how alive she is. No, I’m thinking more like doing things that make her heart pound. She needs to feel and as much as I can’t wait to have her in my bed again, that’s going to have to wait. Unfortunately.”
“You won’t last a week.”
“Dani, I’ll last a lot longer than a week. I had her one night, I know it’s worth the wait.”
She just smiles before pulling a piece of paper from her purse and a pen before turning back to me. I watch as she writes in her neat handwriting, Feeling Alive, and draws a line under it. “Let’s go, big boy. Let’s make a list of all the ways you can make Megan feel alive.”