“Well it was.”
“Good wasn’t when you came against my mouth the first or third time. Good wasn’t when your thighs squeezed me so hard I might even have bruises months later. GOOD wasn’t when you screamed my name, and baby you did, so damn loud my ears felt that for days. Good doesn’t even come close.”
“Well, it was good.”
“No, Megs. It was fucking unbelievable.”
His words stop me and I—for the first time—really look at him. His nostrils are flaring and his eyes have turned into that gold flecked burning that brought me to my knees, literally. Good lord, he’s serious.
“It’s Megan,” I say weakly.
“You felt it,” he presses, ignoring me.
I shake my head, refusing to give him what he wants.
He tips his head back and I can see his lips moving.
“Are you . . . counting?” I question.
He doesn’t answer right away, but his lips continue to move and he is definitely counting.
“Why are you counting?”
His breath comes out and his lips thin. Then to my ever growing frustration, he continues to count.
“Why are you counting?” I ask, again.
He continues before looking back down. His eyes hold mine for a few beats before he looks down at my lips before meeting my eyes again. My breath stalls in my throat with the intensity I see in his eyes.
“I’m counting, Megan, because if I don’t, I’ll take you right here in the fucking hallway. Your baby is right down the hall so that would be a bad idea. I’m counting because I’m trying to have enough patience for the both of us. I’m counting because my damn cock is so hard, I’m not sure how there is any more blood flowing through my body. I’m counting, Megan, because I want you more than I’ve wanted anything in my life and that frustrates the shit out of me because you either can’t or won’t see it. I need you to see it, baby. I really need you to see. I’m counting because since last night, leaving you when I wanted nothing more than to drag you home where I can keep you safe, I’ve been filled with nothing but worry about how you’re handling everything. I guess you could say I’m counting so I don’t lose my shit.”
I’m shaking my head before he even stops talking and he just sighs deeply.
“Why?” I ask, ignoring the vast majority of what he just said.
I’m not even sure what I’m asking, but clearly he does, because without letting go he turns and leads me to the living room. He stops at the worn leather loveseat letting me go long enough to settle his body before he reaches out with both hands on my hips and drags me down. My knees hit the seat and my bottom presses against his hard thighs. He moves around until he’s leaning back and pulls both my hands forward. I watch in fascination as he pulls one of my clammy hands toward his chest. My right hand right above his heart. I try to pull my hand away, but he holds strong.
“Let me tell you something. I’ve been watching you, Megan. You came into our group kicking and screaming, even if you didn’t do it physically, you were resisting all the same. Dani, being all that is Dani, pulled you in and refused to let you go. She has that way about her, always seeing what people need even if they can’t see it for themselves. Months. It took months before I saw you even smile. But I still watched. Watched and waited.”
“Waited for what?” I ask, the words coming out as shaky as I feel. His heart beating strong and steady under my palm.
“For you to see.”
I cock my head to the side and wait for him to continue.
“You saw it that night, baby. And you saw it last night when you went from shivering in fear to a comforting calm just with my hands on your body. I wasn’t alone in that bed, Megan, and I damn sure wasn’t alone last night.”
“It was dark,” I say lamely thinking about our night together.
“Yeah and what I’m talking about is something you don’t need light to see, baby.”
Well, now I’m even more confused.
“You won’t get it right away. Hell, you might not even see it, but you will eventually. I’ve been waiting, Megan and after last night, I’m done waiting. It’s time for me to help you see.”
“See what!” I snap.
“Everything.”
That’s it. That’s all he says. He gives me a smirk, his dimple coming out with his knee-melting smile and his eyes burning bright. I sit there like a dead weight on his lap with my hands still against his chest, his heart beating steady under my palm and try to understand his words.