“So why didn’t you tell me about Lucifer and Evangeline?” I persisted.
“The consensus was that nobody needed to worry about it as long as Evangeline stayed put. We didn’t think that even Lucifer would try to remove her.”
“He didn’t,” I said. “I did.”
“And that was something we didn’t anticipate,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “But now that you have…Maddy, you have to leave.”
“Leave where? Chicago?”
“This universe,” J.B. said. “If you can travel to the land of the dead, then you can cross to another world. You’ve got to get away before Sokolov discovers what you’ve done.”
“I’m not going to be a fugitive for the rest of my life,” I said. “If he wants to come for me, let him.”
I’d relish the opportunity to take Sokolov out. He’d tortured J.B., and for that I could never forgive him.
“It’s not Sokolov that will come for you. It’s the Retrievers,” J.B. said.
As he said the name of those creatures, it seemed that the wind echoed him—Retrievers, Retrievers, Retrievers.
“I’m not scared of the Retrievers,” I said. “You don’t even know what kind of shit I’ve seen. Or what kind of power I have now.”
“It doesn’t matter,” J.B. said. “The Retrievers are the final resort. Nobody is immune.”
“Then why didn’t you send the Retrievers after Lucifer once he started sneaking past the Door?” I said.
“I think what it comes down to is that upper management doesn’t want to tangle with Lucifer,” J.B. said. “They’re still smarting from the attack by Ramuell and Antares. They know Lucifer is more powerful than either of those creatures were.”
“But it’s okay to tangle with me?” I said suspiciously. “You seem to know a lot about Lucifer all of a sudden. More than I do, actually. And I’m wondering why you never told me any of this before.”
“It was need-to-know,” J.B. said.
“Don’t give me that Agency line,” I said. “I thought we were past that. I thought that we were friends.”
J.B. was silent, and in that silence I figured out why he’d never told me any of this.
“You don’t trust me,” I said.
“I do,” J.B. protested. “But upper management doesn’t.”
“No,” I said, hurt beyond reason. “You don’t trust me, not really. Because if you did, you would have told me all of this no matter what upper management said.”
“Maddy…”
“No,” I said, cutting him off. “You stood in front of me less than two weeks ago and said that you loved me. If you love me, then you trust me. And it’s obvious you don’t.”
“Don’t try telling me about love,” J.B. said angrily. “Your husband died less than a month ago and you’ve been climbing all over Nathaniel ever since.”
The urge to slap him in the face was strong, but I resisted. “I don’t owe you anything. If anything, you owe me. I’ve saved your life more times than I can count in the last week.”
“Keeping score, like your grandfather?” J.B. said. “You’re becoming more like Lucifer every day.”
I couldn’t believe it had come to this, that we were standing on the beach in the middle of January cutting each other to ribbons. I was losing him, too. Maybe I’d already lost him. But the gulf between us seemed too wide to cross.
“I am nothing like Lucifer,” I said through my teeth.
“Could have fooled me,” J.B. said.
“Then go,” I said, pointing to the sky. “Get your own damned self home. I hope you can avoid being kidnapped by faeries or possessed by your mother without someone to watch you.”
J.B.’s face was purple with anger now. “Someday, someone is going to give you your comeuppance. I just hope I’m there to see it.”
And then he was gone. Like everyone else. Everyone except Nathaniel.
I crossed my arms and turned toward the lake. The wind was cold. I was abruptly aware that my sleeves were still rolled up from my trek through the desert with Evangeline, and that I wore nothing except a T-shirt and jeans. My hair had come out of its braid somewhere along the way and it whipped and curled in the breeze. Just like Evangeline’s.
I let myself have a cry. I deserved it. Everyone I’d thought would stand by me was gone. And now that I was alone, I started to doubt myself. Could I have made different choices? Could I have avoided becoming further embroiled in Lucifer’s machinations?
No matter how I replayed the last four months, it seemed that the only choices I could have made were the ones that I did. From the moment Ramuell had killed Patrick to the moment that led me here, there wasn’t anything else I could have done. At least, I didn’t see how.
Nathaniel landed on the beach beside me. I jumped about four feet in the air.
“Are you crazy?” I said. “What’s with the ninja act?”
“I am sorry,” he said, smiling a little. “I did not think to announce my presence.”
“Next time bring a bullhorn,” I said. “I could have taken your head off.”
“You were not even holding your sword,” Nathaniel said. “What has become of J.B. and Amarantha?”
I gave him an edited version of events, leaving out the details of my argument with J.B. Nathaniel seemed to read between the lines, though he didn’t say anything.