I clenched my fists. I had so much anger inside, months of it, months of frustration and pain and fear mixing with fury until I felt like I would burst. I needed somewhere to put that anger. Either I could vent it on Sokolov, or I could take it out on whatever was closest.
“You’ll do,” I said, and pulled Nathaniel’s head down to mine.
I was truly in the grip of madness now. I sent my power and my anger coursing into him, pushing up against his magic. His own power met mine and we crashed against each other in a furious storm.
He pulled my sweater off, tore the fastening of my bra. His hands replaced it, then his mouth. And then his mouth went lower, and my pants disappeared. I writhed under him, the power and the anger and the lust stretching my skin, making me burn.
His mouth touched the core of me. I arched under him and the magic inside me surged as I peaked. I found the heart of his power, the true heart, the one that Puck had kept hidden from him his whole life, and I lit it on fire. When I did that, the secret source of my own magic was revealed, and I suddenly understood everything Lucifer had told me.
I had never seen, never known, the depths of my magic. I could do anything. I could find the hidden paths of the universe. I could defy death. And no one would be able to stop me.
Nathaniel reared back and away from me, his hands on his face, in the grip of the revelation of his legacy. He was surrounded by a halo of blue, and his hair was darkening, turning black before my eyes.
The skin of my back tore away, and I screamed as my wings formed anew. I rolled to my stomach, panting, feeling the muscles stretching, the brush of feathers against my skin. Fine particles of silver floated in the air. The mad surge receded, leaving me spent. I put my head in my hands and covered my body with my wings.
Nathaniel cried out once. I felt the pulse of magic in the air as it brushed over me. Then he was silent except for the sound of his breath, harsh in the silence of the room.
Now that the insanity was over I felt embarrassed. Maybe we hadn’t officially done the deed but we’d come pretty damn close, and I was naked. But I couldn’t lie with my head in my hands forever. Sooner or later I would have to turn around and face him.
I sat up, coiling my wings around me to keep my nudity covered. Nathaniel watched me in wonder.
“Your wings,” he said, and reached out to touch the feathers. “They’re just as I saw in my dream.”
I realized then that it was not my black Agent’s wings that had returned. The feathers were silver, and glittered even in the weak rays of the ceiling lightbulb.
“You can destroy the vampires,” Nathaniel said. “I felt the strength inside you, at the end.”
“Nathaniel,” I said, and took a deep breath. I needed to get this out quickly before mortification set in. “I’m sorry I did that. I’m sorry I used you.”
“Sweet Madeline,” he said, and bent to kiss me again, gently, just for a moment. “Do not apologize. You have given me a gift. I know who I am now. My power is no longer hidden from me.”
“It’s no gift to find out that you’re related to Lucifer, believe me,” I said. “Your hair has turned black. You look more like Puck than ever.”
Nathaniel stood and looked at himself in the small mirror that hung over the side table. I saw him touch his hair in curiosity, and then his face.
“It’s strange, is it not?” he said. “My face is still my own. It is only my coloring that mimics him now.”
“You’re wearing his colors,” I said. “Literally. Everyone will know to whose house you belong.”
“My father will be heartbroken,” Nathaniel murmured, and I saw a shadow cross his expression at the thought of Zerachiel. “I was his only son, his pride. Even when all believed I had participated in the rebellion against Lucifer, my father did not lose faith in me. Now he will know that I am not a son to him, that he has nothing, that he has been a cuckold.”
“I wouldn’t go anywhere near the Grigori, if I were you,” I said. “You heard Puck. He and Lucifer don’t get along. If you showed up in court, or even went to see Zerachiel, Lucifer will probably find some excuse to have you killed.”
I stood up awkwardly. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
I went into the bedroom to get dressed, and tried not to imagine that Nathaniel was watching my naked butt as I walked away.
I put on some underwear and a pair of jeans, then took out a new bra and T-shirt. I soon discovered that it was a lot more difficult to get dressed when your wings didn’t recede into your back at will.
“How the hell do I put this on?” I said.
“You’ll need to cut slashes to accommodate your wings in all of your clothing,” Nathaniel said. “And then they will furl up small enough for you to dress. Once you have your top on, you can uncoil them again.”
I turned around, holding the shirt to my bare chest. Nathaniel smiled.
“Madeline, I have already seen it all,” he said. “There is no need for shame.”
“Oh, yes, there is,” I said.
Nathaniel approached me, pulled the shirt away from my fingers. I sucked in my breath. I guess I’d thought the electricity between us would go away once his power was revealed, but it felt like nothing had changed.
His hands went to my br**sts, and I closed my eyes.
“I know you have not chosen,” Nathaniel said. “But don’t think you can pretend it did not happen. I will not let you forget that it happened.”