I’m willing to try it, Samiel said.
“Sure, why not?” Chloe said. “It’s not like I’m claustrophobic or anything.”
“You’re claustrophobic and you work in that little room every day?” I asked.
“I have all the light I want in there,” Chloe said, her breath visible in the cold air. “That’s not going to be the case in here.”
We all paused at the mouth of the cave. A current of warmth came from the interior. It should have felt comforting, especially in the bitter cold, but it didn’t. It felt like standing near the mouth of a dragon that’s about to make you his dinner.
“This could be a trap,” J.B. said.
“I’ve already considered the possibility,” I said. “The only other option is to go back, and we know there’s nothing for us in that direction.”
“Heigh-ho, then,” Beezle said. “No time like the present.”
I stepped into the darkness.
13
AS SOON AS I STEPPED INSIDE I FELT SOMETHING inside me go black, like it was being smothered, and I realized it was my magic.
“Wait!” I said to the others, but they were already beside me. “Am I the only one who can’t access their powers?”
“No,” Nathaniel said, his voice grim.
His answer was echoed all around, Jude included.
“I’ve turned back into a human,” he growled.
The darkness was absolute, and the sounds of the wind howling outside had ceased as soon as we entered the cave. I could hear a drip of water, and the harsh breath of everyone else.
“Okay,” I said, thinking hard. “I’ve got my sword, and so does Nathaniel. Does anyone else have a weapon?”
“I’ve got the little knife, and some bobby pins in my pocket. Somewhere,” Chloe said.
“I’ll take that as a no,” I said. “We can’t make nightfire to see. And I bet we can’t get out of the cave now that we’ve gone in.”
“No,” Jude said. “I already checked.”
“So we’ve got to go forward,” I said.
Part of me had expected something like this. Faeries loved their games, and they didn’t like you to have advantages. It was more fun for them if you lost.
“I don’t want to lose anyone in the dark,” I said. “So everyone chain up. I’ll go in front, and Nathaniel in the back since we’re the only ones with weapons.”
“I will go in front,” Nathaniel said.
“Don’t try to be a man,” I said. “I can swing a sword just as easily as you can.”
“I’d prefer if Nathaniel went in front, too,” Beezle said. “I don’t want to be the first in line when some slavering monster appears out of the darkness.”
“Then go sit on Samiel’s shoulder,” I said. “Because I’m going first.”
“I would, if I could find Samiel,” Beezle said.
There was no way in hell I was letting anyone else take the fall. That had happened twice now. First Gabriel had taken the sword that was probably meant for me. And then J.B. had taken Titania’s abuse. No one was standing in front of me anymore, no matter how much it hurt their masculine pride.
“Madeline,” Nathaniel began.
“No,” I said. “You will trust me.”
“There’s no reason for…”
“There’s every reason,” I said, and my tone said that we were done discussing the matter.
I groped in the darkness for the hand of the person nearest me, and Jude was there.
“I’m right next to you, Agent,” he said to Chloe.
There was a rustling as everyone formed in a line. I drew my sword carefully and found that the darkness was not absolute. There was a very faint silver gleam as the blade was revealed.
“It would be helpful if you would light up like you did in the Maze,” I said to the sword.
Nothing. Not even an answering wiggle from the snake tattoo on my palm.
“Who are you talking to?” Jude asked.
“My sword,” I said.
“Don’t ask,” Beezle said. “You’ll just get an answer you don’t want to hear.”
I slid forward as quietly as I could, my hand slick with sweat in Jude’s grip. The others followed.
There is nothing quite like moving in the dark. Your eye creates shadows and movement where there is none. Your mind fills in the black space with nightmares. And all around you, the darkness is like a living thing, pressing on you, making you fear, making you doubt.
I’d spent more than my fair share of time in darkness lately. Maybe one day I’d go to the Caribbean and lie in the sun until all of the dark was burned away.
Do you think Lucifer will ever let you do that? I thought. Do you think he’ll let you go now that he has you so close to his grasp?
I already knew the answer to that. The darkness would be with me forever, and no amount of sunshine would ever light those shadowed places again. That was Lucifer’s gift to me—the power of the stars and the universe, cloaked in the black emptiness of space.
We had been walking for some time without incident when I heard Chloe. Her breath had been coming faster and louder gradually, and now she sounded like she was hyperventilating. Samiel must have tried to comfort her because she said, “Not helping. Not helping at all.”
“What’s the matter?” I said.
“I can’t breathe,” she said, sounding strained. “I can’t get enough air in here.”