“Tesstastic! How are ya, girl?” Dane’s jovial voice boomed over the line. “It’s me. Julia and I got back from Cancun yesterday, we’re home. New York is fucking cold and gray and I’m ready to leave again. Going back to work sucks. And you’re not around, and that sucks too. I miss you. Call me, let’s catch up. When are you coming home? Hope all is well. Love you.”
She smiled, feeling his warmth. Her brothers adored her, and she adored them. She was very lucky to have such close siblings, and friends. Why was she still keeping her plans from them? She wasn’t sure. She’d have to think about that some more.
Burrowing into her pillows, she texted Logan. Hi, I’m sorry I worried you. I’m alive.
His text came back almost immediately. There you are. Hi. Glad you answered, I was starting to worry. Just wasn’t like you.
I know, sorry. Not feeling great today, she wrote. Had yoga, fell asleep after, took an unplanned two hour nap. And got my period. So . . . yeah. That.
Ah. Sorry you’re not feeling well.
I’m fine. Just tired, crampy, and in a bit of a funk.
Ahhh. I get it. Well, don’t be. We’ll just try again.
Don’t worry, Tess. It’ll happen.
His kind words made tears spring to her eyes. Stupid hormones. Thanks, she wrote. I know. I’m fine.
Okay. Need anything?
Nope. Having popcorn in bed. Maybe wine for dessert.
He didn’t answer right away. Then his text came in: Thought you weren’t drinking these days?
She winced. I was joking, she wrote back. No worries.
You’re upset, aren’t you. Tell the truth.
She blinked back the tears. A little. But I’m okay. She sniffled, astounded at how well he knew her already. Are you at work?
No. Hospital with Mom. Radiation. Then I’ll take her home, settle her in, etc.
Gotcha. Send her my best. Hope she’s okay.
I’ll tell her you said hi. Better go. I’ll call you later. Enjoy your popcorn.
Thanks. Bye.
She put the phone down and shoved her hand into the popcorn bag. As she ate and misery welled, she decided popcorn alone wasn’t going to cut it. Ordering dinner in was required tonight. Something delicious, with a decadent, chocolatey dessert.
* * *
The doorbell rang at seven thirty, startling Tess. She was curled up on the couch with her e-reader. After self-medicating with lobster bisque and pasta primavera with shrimp, then a slice of chocolate mousse pie, she’d fallen into a food coma, content to read on the couch all night and ignore the world. Now she slipped her feet into her slippers and went to answer the door.
Logan stood before her, snow falling around him, looking ruggedly handsome. Her heart soared a tiny bit. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” she said with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“You just didn’t sound right, even in texts.” He lifted his hand, holding a white bag. “I brought cookies. With chocolate in them. Thought maybe you needed some.”
Her eyes welled with tears. “You’re so sweet,” she whispered. “Come on in.”
He did, closed the door behind him, and brushed the snow from his coat. Then, with his free hand, he tipped up her chin to study her face. Without a word, he pulled her into his chest and hugged her.
She broke down, sobbing into him. He dropped the bag lightly to the floor to wrap both arms around her. The feel of his solid embrace made her go molten. “I knew it wouldn’t happen right away,” she mumbled between sobs. “I knew we started after I’d ovulated, and we only did it a few times, so I knew the chances were small. Why am I so damn disappointed?”
“Hope’s funny that way.” He rubbed her back, caressed her hair. “Shhh. It’s okay. You’re allowed to be disappointed.”
She cried, so grateful for his understanding and tenderness it flooded her completely. Clinging to him like a lifeline in a storm, she cried. And he held her close.
“So you were staying for February anyway,” he said. “And March too, if need be. And maybe even April. We’ll have sex every night if you want. You’ll have your baby, Tess. It just might take time. The doctor told us that.” His large hands gently ran up and down her back. “It’ll happen. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”