He sighed deeply. He’d built his life in such a way that he’d have to experience as little loss as possible. Now it loomed like a tsunami, threatening to take him under.
The thought of losing his mother was devastating. There were no words for that. He couldn’t begin to fathom how hard that would hit. But add to that the thought of living his life after that without Tess . . . It made him ache so hard, it hurt.
Soon the two most important people in his life would both be gone—one by the cruelty of illness, and one by planned choice. He’d have plenty of time to miss them as he spent his days alone. For a decade now, he’d wanted nothing more than to be alone, hadn’t he? Careful what you wish for, he lamented ruefully. There was nothing he could do about his mom. It made him sick to think of it. And Tess . . . He had to be her friend, and accept that this is how it would be, like what he signed up for. She didn’t ever need to know his heart belonged to her. It would complicate things . . . it was safer that way.
He lay there for hours before sleep finally took him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Tess’s cell phone was ringing. Well, singing at her, about how he used to rule the world . . . She quickly finished typing the last words of her email to a client before she answered the call. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hello. How are you?”
“Fine, thanks. And you?”
“Fine. I heard all three of your brothers paid you a visit to check on you.” Charles II sounded mild, but she waited for the rest. “It’s okay if they pop in to surprise you, but not me, eh?”
“Actually, at first, I wasn’t at all happy to see them,” she said firmly. “I don’t like surprise visits of any kind. But yes, they were here, and we had a nice, short visit.”
“So I heard. Charles said you’re fine, doing well, relaxing. Didn’t have much to say beyond that.”
“Because there’s nothing much else to report,” she said. “I’m fine. I told you all I was.” She breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Her brothers had sworn they wouldn’t clue Dad in to her plans, but this confirmed it. “Is that why you called?”
“Yes, and to just . . . say hello.” Charles II paused. “I didn’t like how we left things last time. You know, Tess . . . I’m far from perfect. But I love you. Always have. You’re my only daughter, which makes you special. I’m sorry I upset you.”
She drew a long, deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “I know you love me, Dad. You’ve just had a really messed-up way of showing it sometimes. I thought we’d gotten past that by now. I’m in my late thirties, for God’s sake.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“You just . . . need to loosen the reins some, you know?” she suggested. “You make me so damn mad when you pull that controlling, manipulative shit. I won’t stand for it. You should know that by now. None of us will stand for it. So just . . . stop.”
He didn’t say anything.
She sighed and said wearily, “I love you too, Dad. No matter what, that’ll never change. I love you. You hear me?”
“I hear you. And it’s good to hear.”
They talked pleasantly for a few more minutes, and Tess was glad they’d cleared things up a bit. At least, for the time being. But when she turned back to her computer to finish her work for the day, she glanced for the hundredth time at the date in the bottom right corner. She bit down on her bottom lip, unable to hold back a tiny grin of excitement.
She should have gotten her period that day. She hadn’t.
A fresh surge of hope whooshed through her. But she willed herself to focus and get back to work. She could get her period the next day. It didn’t mean anything yet.
But she couldn’t help but hope.
* * *
“Hi!” Tess smiled brightly.
Logan smiled back, and it hit him how much he’d missed her. It had only been five days since he’d seen her, but it felt like five weeks. When he’d texted her that morning to invite her to dinner, it was the first time he’d contacted her since the day he’d left her to deal with her brothers. Now, his insides warmed at the sight of her, going molten. Man, he had it bad. “Hi yourself. Come on in.”