up in despair for want of any picture of her own dream man. ‘Why didn’t it occur to her to post his picture? Or at least, she should’ve written a line or two about him as her love perceived him,’ she thought at length. ‘She surely would have a joyous married life. Oh, isn’t it reason enough for my rejoicing. But then, they would be far away in Delhi. I won’t be able to share her blissful moments. How can it be helped, after all?’
The thought of the distance depressed her all the more after her visualization of their joy, ‘Besides, won’t Sandhya’s ardor for her man insensibly dampen her ardency towards me, sooner than latter?’
As she was startled at that, the fear of an erotic gulf between them froze her
‘No, it won’t be the case,’ she tried to revive her spirits as she recalled Sandhya’s words. “I love you enough to need you too”, that’s what she promised, didn’t she?’
‘What if the aura of Raja’s virility casts a shadow on her lesbian leanings,’ it dawned on her to her despair. ‘Oh, if I were to lose her, what would I be left with to live for? How cruel that would be for me. But what else could I do than keep my fingers crossed.’
The melancholy of the moment brought the memories of her family, and she found reminiscing, ‘Could there have been a better couple than them that ever parented? But how do we their children fare? Suguna and her husband are a contented lot, living within their limitations, one might call them colorless, but of what avail is all the color in life, if it can’t provide a shade of happiness to it! Well.’
As though to contrast her own life, she thought about Chandrika, ‘Didn’t she dare to be different and staked everything for love. What love should’ve given her in return?’ Compelled by curiosity, she thought of writing to her to attend Sandhya’s wedding, even as her thoughts turned to her brother, ‘Well, he wants to become an engineer, good luck to him, and how I craved to be a doctor.’
Recalling Rukmini’s fondness for her as her childhood memories came in torrents, she thought, ‘Perhaps, she’s the luckiest of us all, well, the dead have no problems to contend with.’
However, her reverie was broken when Ramu arrived towards the evening, and said, ‘I thought Sathyam would have come back by now.’
As she said, ‘It’s time for him to come,’ they heard Sathyam’s Lambretta.