I wanted nothing more than to say, Gee…wonder why?
She reached for her wine and took a sip. She seemed to want what she just said to sink in. “I’m not going to lie to you, Amanda. I hated you the moment I saw you.”
And here we go…
“But I also fell madly in love with you.”
“Huh?” I said out loud, not meaning to.
She let out a chuckle and continued on. “Yep. I could see the love between you and Brad and each time I saw the two of you together, I saw it grow. I think a part of me was insanely jealous. Brad was my only child. He was my baby boy. No one was ever going to take him away from me. I decided early on that I was going to make it miserable for you. I wanted you to end up leaving.”
She slowly shook her head and gave me a sad smile. “But you were stronger than that. Your love for my son, I should say, was stronger. I didn’t realize at the time when I was trying to drive you away, that I was driving Brad away…from everyone.”
I sucked in a breath of air.
She closed her eyes for a good thirty seconds before she opened them again. “When I saw you standing there holding Maegan, and she was the spitting image of Brad, something just clicked. All the pain that I caused both you and Brad came flooding all at once. I thought I could just pretend it was you who was the problem, but in the end I needed to realize that it was me who had been the problem.”
She stopped and waited. I wasn’t sure what she expected me to say. Yeah, Carol you were the problem…can I have the baby pictures?
“I’m not really sure what to say right now, Carol,” I said as my voice cracked.
She sat up just a little straighter as the waitress walked up and asked what I would like to drink.
“Water, please,” I said.
She asked if we were ready to order. Carol asked her for a few more minutes.
“I just wanted to get this all out, and if you decide to leave after, I completely understand.”
I slowly nodded my head.
She took a deep breath and quickly let it out. “I don’t expect you and Brad to just open up your hearts and let me in. I know I have to earn that back and I’m very prepared to do so. I’d like more than anything to get to really know you, Amanda. I’d like more than anything to have my son back in my life again and get to know my grandchildren.”
My heart started beating a mile a minute.
“I’d like to ask you for your forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it and I know I’ve never done anything to make you want me in your life, but I’d love to try and get there.”
I looked around and prayed that the waitress would get there with my water. My mouth was so dry and I needed a drink before I could talk.
Right on cue she walked up and handed me the water. I took a long drink and set it down before looking back up at Carol.
I gave her a smile and said, “Well…you can start by showing me Brad’s baby pictures.”
The smile that spread across her face caused me to let out a small laugh. When she leaned over and picked up a giant shoebox, I really started laughing.
“I went through all the albums and pulled them out. I wasn’t sure if you do that whole scanning thing or what but I sure had fun going through these.”
We both let out a laugh as the waitress walked back over. I let Carol order while I quickly looked at the menu.
The waitress looked at me next. “Oh um…I’ll have the mesquite-grilled pork chops.
“Good choice,” she said with a smile.
As the next hour passed by, we ate, talked about Maegan, talked about Brad as a baby, looked at baby pictures, and bonded like we never had before. I sent Brad a text, letting him know things were going good.
As we left the restaurant, Carol reached for me and gave me a hug.
“Thank you, Amanda. Thank you so much. I’ve had a lovely evening.”
I smiled and thought back to when I used to work for her. We actually had a few occasions where we got along so good and even laughed a lot.
“I’m really glad we did this, Carol. I think this will be great for Maegan to be able to know both her grandparents. But mostly, I think this will really help Brad to continue to heal and move on. He still holds onto a lot of pain and guilt. But with the baby, and now y’all coming back into his life…I think things will be even better for him.”
She grinned and nodded her head. “I certainly hope so.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and we made plans for her and Brad’s father to come out for dinner after the new year.
Driving home I was overcome with the incredible sense that everything was as it should be. Things happen for a reason and I truly believed that for Brad to be completely free of his past addictions and fears he needed this more than any of us.
I couldn’t wait until New Year’s Eve. It was going to be a new year, new beginnings, new relationships, and a new sense of believing that my husband was the happiest he’s been in a long time.
Chapter 10: Brad
“You are officially getting your man card revoked,” Jeff said to Josh.
“Fuck you, asshole,” Josh said as he got up and grabbed another beer from the cooler and sat back down. “No one is revoking my man card.”
“Dude, you watched The Notebook, alone,” Jeff said with a serious look.
Gunner started laughing and shook his head. “That is a good movie, I have to say.”
Josh jumped up and pointed at Gunner. “See! Gunner watched it. Why can he watch it and it’s okay, but if I watch it, I’m a pussy and get my man card revoked.”
I looked over at Scott’s best friend from college, Lark, who was sitting there, just taking it all in with a smile.
Jeff took in a deep breath of air and blew it out. “Gunner can watch it ’cause he’s Gunner. He’s a romantic pussy who lost his man card years ago.”
Gunner sat up and said, “Hey!”
Lark lost it laughing, as did I. Jeff continued on with his explanation as to why Josh must lose his card.
“You, on the other hand, are not Gunner. As much as you’d like to think you’re romantic, you will never be like the master himself,” Jeff said, and pointed toward Gunner, who stood up and took a bow.
I shook my head and took a sip of water as Josh stood up to plead his case.
“Uh, excuse me, asswipe, but I kicked your asses with my song to Heather, let’s not forget that. I kick your asses every day, you just don’t know about it. I got up and went out the other morning and found wildflowers, in December mind you, and made a little bouquet and brought them up to Heather with breakfast and fresh squeezed orange juice. Then I gave her a certificate to go and get a message while I watched the kids for the afternoon. When she got home I had one of her favorite meals cooked, had the kids washed, fed and ready for bed. Don’t tell me I’m not romantic.”
He looked around at each of us. No one said anything for a few seconds until Lark said, “Holy fucking shit. You’re whipped, dude.” Lark threw his head back and laughed some more. We all laughed and Josh just sat there, shaking his head.
“Okay, I will say that was pretty good, Josh.” Gunner said.
“Thank you, Gunner. I’ll just say Heather appreciated it and I was rewarded very nicely that evening.”
“You’re still getting your man card revoked. I’m logging on when I get home,” Jeff said as he pulled out his phone. “If I thought I could get a signal, I’d log on now and do it.”
Josh looked at him and shook his head. “Dude, are you kidding me? If you do that I’ll revoke your card.”
“For what?”
Josh tilted his head and looked at Jeff. “Twilight?” Josh said as he winked at Jeff.
Jeff sat up and dropped his mouth open. “How do you know about that, you little fucker?”
Gunner, Lark and I all leaned forward. Oh, this was gonna be good.
“What about Twilight?” Gunner and Lark said at the same time.
Josh gave Jeff a smirk and said, “Jeff here, who claims not to be pussy-whipped, watched all the Twilight movies with Ari. Might I add…all the movies one right after the other. Twilight marathon.”
Gunner leaned back and let out a chuckle. “Damn Josh, you’re reaching now.”
“Oh, I’m not done,” Josh said. “Not only did Jeff watch the movies with Ari, he invested hours into reading the books.”
All of us busted out laughing as Jeff rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, Josh. You read Fifty Shades of Pink.”
Josh shook his head, “It’s Fifty Shades of Grey, you stupid shit, and you had Ari read it to you!”
“Hey, that was a good book. I let Amanda read it to me, too, and my dick had never been so exhausted in my life as it was when she was reading that book to me,” I said with a smile and wink over towards Josh.
“Shit dude, tell me. Ells wanted to try almost everything in the book. That book should be like some kind of required reading for men,” Gunner said with a laugh.
“Dude! Jesus H. Christ. That’s my sister. I don’t need to hear that shit. I think I might have just thrown up a little in my mouth,” Jeff said as he punched Gunner in the arm.
“Oh hey, you know what are good books? It’s that one series where the guys eat a lot…damn, what’s it called again?” Josh said as he tried to remember the name of the books.
“Oh hell, Amanda and I read those, their last names are Bradford, right?” I said with a chuckle.
“Yes!” Gunner and Josh both said at the same time.
Lark stood up and looked around at all of us. “Holy hell. All of y’all’s man cards are officially revoked for twenty four hours.”
We all looked around. “Wait. Dude, are you serious?” Jeff asked with a panicked looked on his face.
“Hell yeah I am. You’re all a bunch of pussy-whipped, chick-flick watching, and romance-reading girls. Give them up. Now.”
“Son of a bitch. Good going, Josh!” Jeff said as he reached for his wallet and took out his man card and gave it to Lark.
“Gunner? Fork it over.” Gunner cursed under his breath as he took his card out of his wallet. “You don’t know what it’s like though, Lark. I mean, if you just gave it a try you’d like watching…”
Lark held up his hand and stopped Gunner from talking. “No. I’m pretty sure I’d rather jack off in a field of prickly pears then watch a chick flick. Guaranteed sex or not, no fucking way.”
Josh and I handed Lark our cards as he put them in his wallet. “Thank God Scott’s talking to Garrett, because if I ever find out he has watched a chick flick…oh I don’t even want to think about it.”
“He has,” we all said at once and then laughed.
Lark’s mouth dropped open. “This is exactly why I like being single.” He began pointing to all of us. “This reason right here. Pansy asses.” He turned and walked toward the large bonfire of Christmas trees, mumbling something about chick flicks, books and pussy-ass men.
Jeff looked around at each of us and then down to the ground before looking back up. “Damn…I feel lost without my man card. Just knowing it was there in my wallet and now…damn.”