****
The service for Coop was one of the most emotional things I had ever experienced. All of the boys wore their Dress Blues, and they looked breathtaking. I wasn’t even shocked to see Asher sitting front and center in a uniform of his own. All of the guys took their seats next to Asher, and all five of Coop’s ‘brothers’ sat stoically. They didn’t flinch when the rifles went off, not a twitch in their faces when the bugle started playing, and when Asher was presented with the flag that had been draped over Coop’s casket, they each kept their faces forward and eyes on Coop.
They didn’t move until the last person had walked away from the gravesite. It wasn’t until Izzy grabbed my hand to draw my attention across the graveyard that I watched those strong men crack a little.
I hadn’t seen Sway since that day. I knew that he had watched the kids for Izzy and Melissa when they came to the hospital, and that he closed the salon for the last two days out of respect for Coop.
Watching Sway walk across the grass, weaving to avoid stepping on any markers is almost too much. Gone is his normal flamboyant garb, and in its place is a perfectly tailored black suit. His trademark blonde wig is gone, and his normal hair which I have never seen before is buzzed close to his scalp. There is nothing about this version of Sway that I have ever seen before.
He did this for Coop.
I know he waited for the service to end and the crowd to clear before he paid his respects. Melissa reaches over and takes my other hand, and we sit here waiting to see what happens next. From where we are, we have the perfect view of the scene playing out. All five of the men watch as Sway walks up to the casket and sets a single mason jar on top. It has a beautiful red, white, and blue ribbon tied around the top, and when my eyes take in the contents, a sob bubbles out before I can stop it. He presses his hand against the wood next to the gold, glitter filled jar and dips his head. He takes a few minutes before he pats the top twice and stands back.
At this point, all of us are sobbing uncontrollably, but what is most shocking to me is that all five of the men across the way have finally cracked. Obviously, Coop had filled his brother in at some point about the whole glitter prank because even his eyes are shining despite the small smile playing his lips. These big, strong, proud men aren’t even trying to stop the tears that are falling as they look at Sway with small smiles.
Sway dips his head before he walks back off in the direction he came. His shoulders are bent and his soft cries trail behind him. He makes his way to his car and drives off. There isn’t a single dry eye left as we all take in the beautiful glass jar full of the simmering of happiness.
Chapter 29
It’s been two weeks since we said goodbye to Coop. Some days are harder than others are, but things are slowly starting to pick back up to normal. Asher has taken up the other guest room at Beck’s, and between him and Chelcie, things are a bit awkward. She hasn’t told anyone other than me about the baby, and I respect her wishes that I keep it to myself but that doesn’t mean I feel good about it. Asher should know that there is a part of his brother that will live on, and for better or worse, Chelcie needs to let him in her life so that her child will know a part of their father.
Beck has been to speak with Dr. Maxwell three times now, and I can tell it’s really helping. We’ve spent almost every night lying awake in each other’s arms just talking. I feel closer to him than I ever have before. He’s been here for me when I wake up in a cold sweat when the events of that day play out in my dreams. His soft words and warm embrace are the only things that I want when those dark moments come back. There are times when I catch him staring off into space, and I know those are the times when he’s thinking about Coop.
No one really knows how to completely move forward from this. Whenever the group is all together, there’s always that moment when someone checks the door, waiting for Coop to come barging through with some hilarious comment. We can’t stop wishing that we could just see his blue eyes twinkling with humor one more time.
Grief is such a bastard.
Asher’s decided to stick around for a while. I know he’s taking his brother’s death the hardest out of all of us. There have been a few nights when he’s come home, drunk out of his mind, and stumbled into his room. The sound of his agony echoing through the walls is overwhelming, and I have no idea how to ease his pain. One thing’s for sure, he’s not healing, and at this point, I’m not sure he wants to.
Today, we’re moving Chelcie into my apartment. The one thing that Coop’s death has driven home is that tomorrow is never promised, and there should never be an excuse to not live your life to the fullest. No regrets and no fear of the unknown. So today, Chelcie will start a new chapter of her life in Georgia, and I will start mine with the man I love.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay another night, Chelc? You know you’re always welcome here.”
She smiles weakly but continues to pack up the last of her clothes. She doesn’t have much, just the two suitcases of clothes she brought down, and a box of things that she didn’t want to leave behind.
“No, I need to be alone right now. I need to figure out where I go from here.”
“Are you okay? I know we’ve talked about it, but how are you dealing with all of this?” I sit down on the bed and still her hands when she goes to pack some more. I know she’s just trying to avoid this conversation that we need to have.