I sunk in my seat. “Shit.”
“What?” Jojo said, turning to see the source of my reaction.
“Liam!” she said with a wide grin.
Liam heard his name and turned toward our table. Jojo waved like an idiot, and he switched direction, heading straight for us.
“Jojo! Damn it!” I hissed.
Jack, Fish, Jubal, Sage, Zeke, Bucky, Sugar, Cat, Taco, Watts, Smitty, Runt, Puddin’, and Pup followed, filing into our booth and pulling up chairs when the space was filled. I was squished between Jojo and Liam, and she looked unhappy he’d gone left instead of right to sit next to her.
“You couldn’t bring the whole crew, huh?” I said, elbowing Liam.
He laughed and rubbed his ribs. “The rest are coming. Except the twins. Taylor stayed in Colorado Springs, and Tyler went home.”
“What’s the occasion?” Jojo asked.
“Fire season’s over. Most of the guys are getting on a plane in the morning,” Jubal said, patting Pup on the shoulder.
They all looked exhausted, skinny, and content.
“Tyler didn’t want to come out on everyone’s last night?” I asked.
Watts pulled out his phone. “He will if I tell him you’re here.”
Everyone laughed but me. “Please don’t.”
“Too late,” Watts said, replacing his phone in his pocket.
My shoulders sagged.
Liam leaned into my ear. “So you dumped him, did ya? That’s rough.”
“I didn’t dump him. We weren’t together,” I said.
Sage spoke up. “He’s sure been moping around the last two weeks. I don’t think I’ve seen him so miserable.”
Jojo looked at me with sleepy, glazed eyes and jutted out her bottom lip.
“Stop,” I warned.
“Chief said he’s going to let you back next season,” Liam said.
“Really?” Jojo asked, her eyebrows lifting so high they threatened to skim her hairline.
“Yeah,” Liam said. “The poor bloke heard about it every day from twenty crewmen.”
“Are you and Jack going to the airport tomorrow?” I asked.
“Nah. We’re gonna do some sightseein’. You should come.” He looked to Jojo. “Your photographer should do a feature on the Great American Road Trip. She could cover your travel section.”
“We’re not that kind of magazine,” Jojo said, annoyed with Liam now that he wasn’t flirting with her.
He turned to me again. “You should come.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I have a job, and bills, and I can’t just pick up and leave. I’ve seen the States. Most of them, anyway … and the rest of the world.”
“Oh. World traveler, are ya?” Liam said. He was beautiful—even twenty pounds leaner, cheekbones more pronounced and eyes a bit sunken in—but the part of me that wanted to act on attraction had been stolen by Tyler, and he wasn’t giving it back anytime soon.
“Yes.”
“Her dad owns Edson Technologies, genius,” Jojo said.
The men at the table all covered their mouths and said Oh! in unison. I wasn’t sure why. Her comeback wasn’t that great.
“Your father is Philip Edson?” Liam asked, shocked.
“You’ve heard of him, huh?” I said, twirling the straw in my tall glass.
Jack laughed. “We’ve had Paris Hilton following us around in the woods all this time?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Take that back, fuck-knuckle. Right. Now.”
Everyone at the table but Jack and Liam looked confused. They’d heard the term plenty in Australia; it was my favorite Aussie insult.
“I’m … I’m sorry,” Jack said.
Liam burst into laughter. “Ya soft cock! You’re just gonna take that from her?”
Jack pouted. “Maddox takes a helluva lot more from her than I do.”
I sunk in my chair, blown back by equal parts guilt, shame, and humiliation.
“For fuck’s sake, Jack!” Cat chided.
“No, he’s right,” I said. “I don’t know why.”
“I do,” Jubal said with a knowing grin. “But you can be damn sure he wouldn’t do it for anyone else.”
After a long minute of awkward silence, the crew turned to their pints and whiskey, chatting about their favorite stories from the ending season. Once in a while, they would belly laugh, always at someone’s expense. I scanned over the faces of the boys I’d come to love, wishing my favorite one were among them, but at the same time, relieved that he wasn’t.
Liam leaned in, tapping my nearly empty glass. “You need another, love?”
“Yes, please,” I said without hesitation. Someone else offering to buy me a drink wasn’t new—having to wait to drink until that happened took some getting used to.
Liam raised his index finger into the air, signaled to the waitress, and then held up my empty glass when she looked his way. She smiled at him, already enamored with his accent and the trademark hotshot tan line around his emerald eyes.
He leaned in, his lips grazing my ear when he spoke. He talked about where he and Jack were planning to drive to first, pretending to need traveling tips and laughing at my sarcasm. I’d just finished the drink he’d bought me, and was just beginning to feel a bit lighter when his gaze fell to my lips.
“I’ve been patiently waiting, ya know,” he said. “It’s been almost an hour. Your boy hasn’t come for you yet.”
I looked down. “Probably because I’m not his to come and claim.”
“Yeah, but he’s yours. I can see it all over the poor bastard’s face.”
I noted the pink tint of Liam’s lips against his bronzed skin. A faint echo deep inside me suggested I grab his face and pretend not to care that Tyler hadn’t come like Watts had said he would. The taste of Liam’s drink on my tongue wouldn’t be the worst distraction. The more I imagined his strong hands on my skin, the unhappier I felt. Sterling was supposed to have been my rock bottom, but Tyler had given up on me, just like I had—there was no lower feeling than that.
Just for one night I wished I could return to the pathologically selfish asshole I once was. Even drinking back-to-back Hurricanes couldn’t erase Ellie two-point-oh. Jojo was happily sloppy drunk, but guilt and an ache for Tyler consumed me. Exhaling, my back hit the hard wood of my chair as I wondered if more experienced company could have helped me lose myself. I needed someone supremely manipulative, heartless, and cruel—someone like me.