"Of course I am," replied Alfred, with every confidence, "but I have to
prove it to the officer. Jimmy knows," he concluded. Then turning to
the uncomfortable man at his side, he demanded imperatively, "Tell the
officer the truth, you idiot. No more of your jokes. Am I a father or am
I not?"
"If you're depending on ME for your future offspring," answered Jimmy,
wagging his head with the air of a man reckless of consequences, "you
are NOT a father."
"Depending on YOU?" gasped Alfred, and he stared at his friend in
bewilderment. "What do you mean by that?"
"Ask them," answered Jimmy, and he nodded toward Zoie and Aggie.
Alfred appealed to Aggie.
"Ask Zoie," said Aggie.
Alfred bent over the form of the again prostrate Zoie. "My darling,"
he entreated, "rouse yourself." Slowly she opened her eyes. "Now," said
Alfred, with enforced self-control, "you must look the officer squarely
in the eye and tell him whose babies those are," and he nodded toward
the officer, who was now beginning to entertain grave doubts on the
subject.
"How should I know?" cried Zoie, too exhausted for further lying.
"What!" exclaimed Alfred, his hand on his forehead.
"I only borrowed them," said Zoie, "to get you home," and with that she
sank back on the couch and closed her eyes.
"What did I tell you?" cried the triumphant O'Flarety.
"I guess they're your'n all right," admitted the officer doggedly, and
he grudgingly released the three infants to their rightful parents.
"I guess they'd better be," shouted O'Flarety; then he and the Italian
woman made for the door with their babes pressed close to their hearts.
"Wait a minute," cried Alfred. "I want an understanding."
O'Flarety turned in the doorway and raised a warning fist.
"If you don't leave my kids alone, you'll GIT 'an understanding.'"
"Me too," added the mother.
"On your way," commanded the officer to the pair of them, and together
with Maggie and the officer, they disappeared forever from the Hardy
household.
Alfred gazed about the room. "My God!" he exclaimed; then he turned to
Jimmy who was still in the custody of the second officer: "If I'm not a
father, what am I?"
"I'd hate to tell you," was Jimmy's unsympathetic reply, and in utter
dejection Alfred sank on the foot of the bed and buried his head in his
hands.