I peered in his back window on my way out, and spotted him in the kitchen rolling out puff pastry dough. He's a former commercial baker who supplements his social security these days doing up breads and sweets, which he sells to or trades with local merchants. I tapped on the glass and he motioned me in. Henry is what I like to think of as an octogenarian "hunk," tall and lean with close-cropped white hair and eyes that are periwinkle blue, full of curiosity. Age has boiled him down to a concentrate, all male, compassionate and prudent and wry. I can't say that the years have invested him with spirituality, or infused him with any special wisdom, second sight, profundity, or depth. I mean, let's not overstate the case here. He was smart enough when he first started out and age hasn't diminished that a whit. Despite the fifty years' difference in our ages, there's nothing of the pundit in his attitude toward me, and nothing (I hope) of the postulant in my attitude toward him. We simply eye one another across that half a century with a lively and considerable sexual interest that neither of us would dream of acting out.
That afternoon, he was wearing a red rag around his head pirate-style, his tanned forearms bare and powdered with flour, his fingers as long and nimble as a monkey's as he gathered the dough and turned it halfway. He was using a length of chilled pipe as a rolling pin and he paused to flour it while he worked, coaxing the pastry into a rectangle.
I perched up on a wooden stool and retied my shoes. "You making napoleons?"
He nodded. "I'm catering a tea for someone up the street. What are you up to, besides a run?"
I filled him in briefly on my search for Elaine Boldt while he folded the dough in thirds and wrapped it, returning it to the refrigerator. When I got to the part about Marty Grice, I saw his brows shoot up.
"Stay away from it. Take my advice and leave it to the homicide detectives. You're a fool if you get involved in that end of it."
"But what if she saw who killed Marty? What if that's why she took off?"
"Then let her come forward with the information. It's not up to you. If Lieutenant Dolan catches you messing around with his case, he'll have your rear end."
"Actually, that's true," I said ruefully. "But how can I back off? I'm running out of places to look."
"Who says she's lost? What makes you think she's not down in Sarasota someplace lapping up gin and tonic on the beach?"
"Because somebody would have heard from her. I mean, I don't know if she's up to something or maybe in big trouble herself, but until she shows up I'm going to beat the bushes and bang on pans and see if I can run her to ground."
"Make-work," he said. "You're chasing your own tail."
"Well, that's probably true, but I gotta do something."
Henry gave me a skeptical look. He opened a bag of sugar and weighed out a mound. "You need a dog."
"No, I don't. And what's that got to do with it? I hate dogs."
"You need protection. That business at the beach would never have happened if you'd had a Doberman."
That again. God, even my recent brush with death had taken place in a garbage bin… someplace small and cozy with me sobbing like a kid.
"I was thinking about that stuff today and you want to know the truth? All this talk about women being nurturing is crap. We're being sold a bill of goods so we can be kept in line by men. If someone came after me today, I'd do it again, only this time I don't think I'd hesitate."
Henry didn't seem impressed. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you haven't started a trend."
"I mean it. I'm tired of feeling helpless and afraid," I said.
Henry puffed his cheeks up and blew a raspberry, giving me a bored look. Big talk, his face said, but you don't fool me a bit. He cracked an egg on the counter and opened it up with one hand, letting the white slip through his fingers into a cup. He put the yolk in a bowl and took up another egg, repeating the process with his eyes pinned on me.
He said, "So defend yourself. Who's arguing with that? But you can drop the rhetoric. It's bullshit. Killing is killing and you better take a look at what you did."
"I know," I said, with less energy. The look in his eyes was making me squirm and I wasn't all that crazy about his tone. "Look, maybe I haven't really dealt with that. I just don't want to be a victim anymore. I'm sick of it."
Henry cradled the bowl in his arms, whisking the eggs with a practiced ease. When I do that, the eggs always slop out the side.