“Not my fucking business? We’ll see about that, Izzy. Get your fucking clothes on before someone else sees you.”
I make quick work of redressing, careful with my sensitive and sore nipples. When I am completely covered and standing in front of him, I look up and just take him in. I can’t believe he is really right in front of me, very much alive and pissed off. I can’t tell what’s working behind his eyes, the anger is dominating him right now, but it almost looks like relief.
He reaches out, I don’t even know what his goal is but I immediately shrink back, closing my eyes tight and turning my head away from his hand.
“What the fuck is this shit, Izzy?” I don’t answer him, I can’t. I’m still turned to the side waiting on impact. “Turn around, now.” He roars. He curses under his breath when I flinch even further, turning completely away from him. At this point I can’t help the tears that silently run down my cheeks. I know, deep down that Axel wouldn’t harm me, but this has been my reality for so long that the instinct to protect myself is just too strong.
“Izzy, please Princess, turn around.” He says after a long pause. I can still feel his anger but his tone is soft and reassuring. I slowly turn, bracing myself for any reaction, but am completely shocked by the pain in his eyes. “Let’s go, we’re talking and we’re talking now. Izzy, hear me this right fucking now, you do not fear me. Ever. Even as mad as you have me, I wouldn’t ever put my hands on you. Do you hear me, would never harm a single fucking hair on your head, Princess.”
I flinch but it has nothing to do with fearing him. Hearing him call me Princess again is almost as painful as seeing him before me. I never thought I would hear that word coming from those lips again. I nod once, giving him that before following him out the door.
I trail behind him, eyes to the floor, walking past the cubicles and around the display case. I look up and meet Trix’ eyes, surprisingly, she isn’t enamored by Axel, but looks at me with uncensored concern. I give her a small, very wobbly smile and ask her how much.
“Already paid, here are the instructions from Ty; I wrote the shop number on there in case you have any questions.” She looks at me and I can see her communicating something, I just can’t figure it out right now. My mind is focused on one thing and one thing only.
I thank her, then look around the front for Dee. I find her, silently crying next to Beck, who has his arm thrown tightly around her shoulders, hugging her close. I can’t even fake a smile for her, she knows me too well so it would be completely pointless. I walk out the front door and stand there, waiting for the rest of this fucked up entourage to join me on the sidewalk. Axel is out first. He takes his post behind me, boxing me in and making any thought of running impossible. Dee comes up and gives me an awkward hug. “It will be okay, Iz.” She whispers into my ear before pulling away and standing back with Beck. He gives me a sympathetic smile, but doesn’t say anything and really what could be said. Then I meet the blue eyes of Greg.
“Games, baby girl, I won’t sit back and watch you self-destruct with these fucked up games. You can be mad, and I get you will be, but you will not play these fucked up games. I’ll call you tomorrow and maybe by then you will understand why this was the only move you left me. I love you, baby girl, but that shit stops now.”
My eyes widen in shock, I hear Dee gasp behind him, and I feel Axel’s deep rumble behind my back. I can imagine that Dee is just as shocked as I am that Greg just admitted to letting Axel know where I was; I have no clue what the hell Axel’s deal is. I am crushed. How could he do this to me? The tears start streaming down again, even heavier than before. I can see Greg, and he looks visibly shaken up by my tears.
The fight, the drive to be strong, everything I had been building up, is gone in an instant. I am completely flattened with his betrayal. I let out a mighty breath before addressing Greg. “Do not even bother, Greg. Don’t. As far as I’m concerned you can lose my number. I’m dead to you, you hear me? I do not exist to you.” I look right into his eyes, with tears flowing quickly; I don’t even bother to mask the pure pain. He looks stunned, at first, and then a look that I’m sure comes close to the pain across my face, takes hold of his features. I don’t even give it a second thought. I turn and look up to Axel’s blazing eyes.
“I didn’t drive, took a cab here. So, if you want to talk, you either do it here or you meet me somewhere.” I don’t even recognize my voice, it’s flat and expressionless.
His eyes flare and he slowly brings his hand forward, grabbing my hand. I don’t flinch at his touch but the bolts shooting up my arm from this exchange has me widening my eyes at him. If his quick intake of air is any indication, he feels it too.
“Not leaving my fucking sight, understand that right now. Say goodbye to your friends, we are going to have this chat and we’re doing it right now before you decide to run. Again.” There is no room for arguing, he means it and I don’t even care. Greg’s deception is hard enough to take in, but knowing I am about to rip open old wounds better left alone, is gutting me.
I have no idea how I am going to make it through this.
Chapter 10
I give Dee another look; she seems to understand and gives me a small nod. I completely ignore Greg, turn and prepare to follow Axel to parts unknown. I know what is coming and I might not be ready, but something is telling me that I have no choice. Axel wants answers, he warned me and I knew he would be determined.
He might think he can bully himself back into my life, like he hasn’t just been gone for the last twelve years, but he has another thing coming if he thinks I am just going to roll over and play dead. My fight might be gone, but I am far from out.
We start walking down the sidewalk; him leading and me following silently behind him. When we reach his mammoth truck, I stop and look at it. How the hell am I supposed to get in that thing. I am eye level with the footboard thing. Isn’t the purpose of that thing to help people get into vehicles? Typical man, making these damn things impossible. Axel is standing next to me holding the door, waiting for me to climb in. I look from him to the truck a few times. He can’t be for real right now.
“Get in now, I don’t have the patience for your shit.” His voice still sounds lethal. I have no idea what would make him so mad, he has me and it technically is still Saturday…even if there are only a few hours left. So, I didn’t exactly do anything wrong. The deadline is up and I’m here, right?
“Hate to point out the obvious, Holt,” I can’t seem to help myself from sneering his name, his new name, “but how exactly do you expect me to get in now, as you have so kindly demanded?”
His eyes flash and fill even more with blinding rage. His face takes on an even harsher hard look, stone cold. “What, the fuck, did I tell you about calling me Holt?” He throws at me. His face is almost nose to nose with mine; his rapid breaths are hitting my own mouth in warm burst. I can taste him on my tongue and I gasp in shock. My eyes go wide at his close proximity. Even in my current mood, I can’t help but remember all the times I looked into these eyes before. All the times they didn’t hold anger but untainted love. “One more time, and I swear to God. Get in the fucking truck.” He bites out, pushing each word toward me with great force.
“You idiot, what do you think I am doing? Standing here for shits and fucking giggles? No, definitely not. I can’t get into your stupid truck. If you would take a second to actually look, you would see this. Your little Napoleon Complex is cute, really it is, but it is also keeping me from getting in the fucking truck!” I scream the last part in his face, so loud that even my ears are ringing. I instantly slam my hand over my mouth, regretting my outburst and fearing his reaction.
He shocks me when, instead of lashing out, he starts to shake with silent laughter, “Napoleon Complex, hmm? Do I really need to remind you just how untrue that statement is, Izzy? Take a look at me, my height isn’t the only thing that fucking grew since you ran off.” After he throws that unexpected remark out, I am once again stunned.
Ran off? I would have thought he was talking about this past week, if it hadn’t been for the offhand comment about him changing. What is he talking about? I didn’t run off, he did. As my confusion grows, I am even more convinced that I do not want to have this conversation with him.
Finally, having lost his last thread of control, he grabs my hips and lifts, unceremoniously dumping me into the seat. He harshly mutters for me to ‘buckle my fucking belt’, before he slams the door and disappears around the hood. My jaw is still hanging when he opens his door and slings his giant frame into the seat, turning the key and bringing this beast to a roaring start. He slams it into gear and shoots away from his spot.
Finally coming out of my stunned silence, I look over at his harsh face, “Where are you taking me, my house is the other way.” I meekly ask.
“I know where your house is, I also know that you have been there all week, even while ignoring me. I’m not taking you there, where you can have the protection of your little pit bull roommate. We’re talking and we will be doing it with no fucking interruptions and no one to help you cower behind a locked door. Here me that, right fucking now.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe we can just go to the Starbucks around the corner?” Maybe if I had little more conviction he would have taken me seriously. The last place I want to be, is in his space, alone with him.
“Forget that right now. What I have to say to you will not be said around others. Get ready, Princess because I am done playing games. I don’t care if it takes an eternity, you will fucking talk.”
I snap my mouth shut and turn to watch the city fly past him; trying frantically to think of a way out of this; a way to escape. I’m not ready, and I am even more convinced that I might not ever be.
(Axel)
My heart feels like it might burst from my chest at any second, just blow up, right out of my body. The pounding of my heart, even booming in my ears as loudly as it is, is doing nothing to disguise the soft sniffling coming from the other side of my truck. As much as I wish I could keep my heart hardened from her, the sound of her crying is tearing me up. I shouldn’t have any compassion left for her; it should have died a long time ago.
I knew from my reaction to seeing her again last Saturday, that this chat wouldn’t be easy. There are still feelings; feelings that I thought were long gone and lost forever; trapped in that box with my heart. This girl ripped my heart to fucking shreds and I never knew why. It would have been quicker if she had stuck around and shot me in the fucking chest. At least I would have died instantly, instead of bleeding out slowly for the last twelve years.
Jesus, I can’t get the image out of my head, of her slender body holding that small excuse for a towel against her chest. When she let it drop from her tight hold, I thought I would swallow my tongue. Her tits were always fucking perfect but to see them like that, with her nipples erect and sporting two hot barbells, I might have shot off in my pants. As much as I wanted to drop to my knees and suck her pert pink nipples into my mouth, I couldn’t help my first thought: that motherfucker had his hands on her. He held her tits in his hands. There was no reasoning with my brain that she wasn’t mine; I saw red.