Slowly he paced up and down the rocky ledge, giving no heed to the
passage of time, all his faculties centred upon the struggle between the
inexorable demands of conscience on the one hand and the insatiate
cravings of a newly awakened passion on the other. Vainly he strove to
find some middle ground. Gradually, as his brain grew calm, the various
courses of action which had at first suggested themselves to his mind
appeared weak and cowardly, and the only course open to him was that of
renunciation and of self-immolation.
With a bitter cry he threw himself, face downward, upon the ground. A
long time he lay there, till at last the peace from the great pitying
heart of Nature touched his heart, and he slept on the warm bosom of
Mother Earth as a child on its mother's breast.
The sun was sinking towards the western ranges and slowly lengthening
shadows were creeping athwart the distant valleys when Darrell rose to
his feet and, after silently drinking in the beauty of the scene about
him, prepared to descend. His face bore traces of the recent struggle,
but it was the face of one who had conquered, whose mastery of himself
was beyond all doubt or question. He took the homeward trail with firm
step, with head erect, with face set and determined, and there was in
his bearing that which indicated that there would be no wavering, no
swerving from his purpose. His own hand had closed and bolted the gates
of the Eden whose sweets he had but just tasted, and his conscience held
the flaming sword which was henceforth to guard those portals.
A little later, as Darrell in the early twilight passed up the driveway
to The Pines, he was conscious only of a dull, leaden weight within his
breast; his very senses seemed benumbed and he almost believed himself
incapable of further suffering, till, as he approached the house, the
sight of Kate seated in the veranda with her father and aunt and the
thought of the suffering yet in store for her thrilled him anew with
most poignant pain.
His face was in the shadow as he came up the steps, and only Kate,
seated near him, saw its pallor. She started and would have uttered an
exclamation, but something in its expression awed and restrained her.
There was a grave tenderness in his eyes as they met hers, but the light
and joy which had been there when last she looked into them had gone out
and in their place were dark gloom and despair. She heard as in a dream
his answers to the inquiries of her father and aunt; heard him pass into
the house accompanied by her aunt, who had prepared a substantial lunch
against his return, and, with a strange sinking at her heart, sat
silently awaiting his coming out.