His face flushed as he held up his thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart. “You’re treading a fine line, man. You are this close to losing her for good. So if that’s what you are trying to accomplish, then keep doing exactly what you are doing.” He turned redder and redder as he spoke. “I’m fucking exhausted as it is. I’ve been up since the asscrack of dawn to drive her—” He abruptly cut himself off.
I opened my mouth to reply hotly, but I couldn’t say a damn word because he was right. I was being an asshole. I slumped back against the wall behind me in the hallway. A few doors down, some students slammed the door and were hotly discussing the latest episode of True Blood as they stormed down the stairwell. I blinked.
“I’m sorry. I’m panicking. There, I said it. And apparently I’m digging myself into an even deeper hole.”
He shook his head. “I’m not in the mood to talk you down from a ledge when I’ve been doing it for her all week.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “She’s okay? You drove her somewhere?” I said, picking up on his slip.
He scowled, hesitating. He seemed to be gauging what my reaction might be. Then he inhaled and blew out a long breath. “To LAX.”
I stiffened. “What? Why?”
He held up a hand. “Down boy, it’s just for six days.”
“Where’d she go?”
He glanced out of the corner of his eye down the hallway, then shifted his stance. “I’m only telling you so you don’t try to stalk her. She flew to Baltimore.”
I was glad I had the wall to hold me up. I felt myself go pale. This was clearly a sign that I already had lost her. She was going to make arrangements to attend Hopkins.
I barely croaked out a thank-you before feebly reaching for the doorknob.
Heath reached out and stopped me. “Adam. I know you mean well. I know you love her. But you are fucking it up, man. And now with stunts like this, you threaten to push me away, too. We’re friends, but I can’t do this. I can’t be in the middle of you two.”
“I’m feeling kind of lost at the moment.” It took everything in me to admit that.
“You need to be here for her. Be what she needs. I know her and I know how she feels about you and—just trust me on this, all right? If you don’t want to completely fuck this up, then you need to back off. Don’t just say you are going to back off. Actually do it.”
It wasn’t easy to hear and there were few people I’d even stand to hear it from. Fortunately, Heath was one of them. I thanked him quietly, suggested he give Connor a call to go have drinks, and then apologized.
Heath nodded, giving me a smile and a reassurance that we were still on for our regular Saturday paintball. I watched him descend the stairs as I took a deep breath to collect myself. I tried to assimilate this news about Emilia going to Maryland, probably in preparation for med school in the fall. Shit.
When I got back inside, three sets of eyes stared at me with the unspoken question of what had gone on. Alex tilted her head to the side, studying me. “I don’t see any bruises. I was afraid Heath was going to beat you up!”
I made a face at her. “What made you think he’d win?”
Jenna looked up from her careful dice arrangement. “He talk to you about what’s going on with Mia?”
I rubbed my jaw. “Hmm. Not really in the mood to talk about it. How ’bout some pizza and beer? On me.”
Alex snorted. “Well of course it will be on you.”
We scrapped the game early and I ordered the food, hoping to make up for the failed D&D game. We sat around talking about our favorite episodes of Stargate for the next few hours, much to Liam’s irritation, in between him stealing glances at Jenna. I do believe he had a crush.
She pretended not to notice and I made a mental note to explain to her about the eye contact thing later, when Liam wasn’t around. Maybe some small good would come out of this disaster that my life seemed to be crumbling into.
I couldn’t get my mind off this new information about Emilia going to Maryland. That was likely what she had come over to talk to me about on Tuesday before getting pissed off at me. I went home from that evening feeling darker and more hopeless than I’d felt at any moment until that point. I had no idea what to do from here and the only advice I’d gotten, from Heath and Emilia herself, was to back off and do nothing.
This was so against my nature. I had to fight those impulses constantly. So I turned to my old comfort, even though I knew better. There was more than enough work to do—between the lawsuit, the Con and the new expansion we were beginning to develop. And when I wasn’t working, I was digging into my secret project—which was my way of working without calling it work.