I returned to my chambers, intending to ponder carefully all my options and formulate a plan. But so weary was I and half-sick still that I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.
22
Dilemmas
IN THE DREAM, THE Fool stood by my bed. He looked down at me and shook his head. “Why cannot I speak clearly? Because you make it all a muddle. I see a crossroads through the fog, and who always stands within it? You. Do you think I keep you alive because I am so entranced with you? No. It is because you create so many possibilities. While you live you give us more choices. The more choices, the more chances to steer for calmer water. So it is not for your benefit, but for the Six Duchies that I preserve your life. And your duty is the same. To live so that you may continue to present possibilities.”
I awoke in precisely the same quandary I had gone to sleep in. I had no idea of what I was going to do. I lay in my bed, listening to the random sounds of the palace awakening. I needed to talk to Chade. That was not possible. So I lightly closed my eyes and tried to think as he had taught me. “What do you know?” he would have asked me, and “What do you suspect?” So.
Regal had lied to King Shrewd about Rurisk’s health and his attitude toward the Six Duchies. Or, possibly, King Shrewd had lied to me about what Regal had said. Or Rurisk had lied about his inclinations toward us. I pondered a moment and decided to follow my first assumption. Shrewd had never lied to me, that I knew, and Rurisk could have simply let me die instead of rushing to my room. So.
So Regal wanted Rurisk dead. Or did he? If he wanted Rurisk dead, why did he betray me to Kettricken? Unless she had lied about that. I considered. Not likely. She might wonder if Shrewd would send an assassin, but why would she immediately decide to accuse me? No. She had recognized my name. And known of Lady Thyme. So.
And Regal had said, twice last night, that he had asked his father to send Lady Thyme. But he had likewise betrayed her name to Kettricken. Who did Regal really want dead? Prince Rurisk? Or Lady Thyme or me, after an assassination attempt was discovered? And how did any of it benefit him, and this marriage he had engineered? And why was he insisting I kill Rurisk, when all the political advantages were to his living?
I needed to talk to Chade. I couldn’t. I had to somehow decide this, myself. Unless.
Servants again brought water and fruit. I arose and dressed in my annoying clothes, and ate, and left my chambers. This day was much the same as yesterday. The holiday atmosphere was beginning to wear on me. I attempted to employ my time to advantage, enlarging my knowledge of the palace, its routines and layout. I found Eyod’s, Kettricken’s, and Rurisk’s chambers. I also carefully studied the staircase and support structures to Regal’s. I discovered that Cob slept in the stables, as did Burrich. I expected that of Burrich; he would not surrender the care of Buckkeep horses until he left Jhaampe; but why was Cob sleeping there? To impress Burrich, or to watch him? Sevrens and Rowd both slept in the antechamber of Regal’s apartments, despite a plentitude of rooms in the palace. I tried to study the distribution and schedules of the guards and sentries, but couldn’t find any. And all the while I watched for August. It took me the better part of the morning before I could find him in quiet circumstance. “I need to talk to you. Privately,” I told him.
He looked annoyed and glanced about to see if anyone were watching us. “Not here, Fitz. Maybe when we get back to Buckkeep. I’ve official duties, and—”
I had been prepared for that. I opened my hand, to show him the pin the King had given me so many years ago. “Do you see this? I had it from King Shrewd, a long time ago. And with it, his promise that if I ever needed to speak to him, I need only show it and I would be admitted to his chambers.”
“How touching,” August observed cynically. “And had you some reason for telling me this story? To impress me with your importance, perhaps?”
“I need to speak to the King. Now.”
“He isn’t here,” August pointed out. He turned to walk away.
I took hold of his arm, turned him back to me. “You can Skill to him.”
He shook me off angrily and glanced about us again. “I most certainly cannot. And would not, if I could. Do you think every man who can Skill is allowed to interrupt the King?”
“I have shown you the pin. I promise you, he would not regard this as an interruption.”
“I cannot.”
“Verity, then.”
“I do not Skill to Verity until he Skills to me first. Bastard, you don’t understand. You took the training and you failed at it, and you really have not the slightest comprehension of what the Skill is about. It is not like hallooing to a friend across a valley. It is a serious thing, not to be used except for serious purposes.” Again he turned away from me.