His mouth tightened just a fraction and his dark eyebrows furrowed over his eyes. “What do you think?”
The waitress came back over and looked a little annoyed we hadn’t even cracked open the menu yet. Dom grinned at her and just the flash of his straight white teeth was enough to make her blush and scamper off giggling.
“I think I’m where I’m supposed to be. I might not have gotten there the right way, but it’s a destination I’m happy with now. I don’t know, honestly. I wasn’t sure I could do this job without you when I went back to work, but it turns out I can, and without you to lean on all the time it makes me better at it.”
Something dark moved across his emerald gaze and I realized it sounded like I wasn’t thinking about what would happen when he healed up and returned to the force. I opened my mouth to tell him that of course I couldn’t wait for him to be my partner again, but he held up a hand to silence me and shook his head slowly back and forth.
“Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t want any more platitudes or apologies. We both know that my shoulder is pretty fucked and I lost a kidney. Plus, with the leg, who knows if I’ll have a limp or not. My future in law enforcement is uncertain and that’s just the way it is. It’s not your fault and I want you to keep doing what you’re doing with or without me. All I’ve ever wanted for you is to succeed and for you to be happy.”
I bit my tongue to stop the automatic apology for having any part in his uncertainty. He knew I loved him and he knew I was sorry. The shrink was right. We had a risky job and the situations could have easily been reversed and I could be the one trying to figure out what was next, and there was no way I would ever hold Dom accountable for that.
“I’m working on both of those things, success and happiness.” Watching Asa struggle all the time really drove home how important it was to find some kind of peace with my life and what was going on in it.
He lifted both of his eyebrows at me and we finally ordered a couple of burgers from the waitress that was now openly flirting with him.
“Oh yeah? Who’s making you happy?” That was why I loved Dom with my entire being. He just knew me so well.
I bit on the corner of my lip. His eyes widened at me and his nostrils flared a little as he deciphered my expression.
“It’s the guy we arrested a couple months ago, isn’t it? I knew something was up when you were so anxious to push his paperwork through when his sister showed up to bail him out.”
I nodded a little bit and then rested my elbow on the table so I could put my chin in my hand. “I like him … more than like him, really.”
“He has a pretty nasty record.” Of course Dominic would remember that.
“I know. He won’t let me forget about it, in fact.”
Dom chuckled. “Well, at least he knows he’s not good enough for you.”
I tapped the edge of my fingernails on the top of the table and narrowed my eyes at my best friend. “Don’t say that. He tiptoes around all these … feelings.” I wasn’t sure what else to call the currents that dragged the two of us around when we got together. “Because he thinks something tragic is going to happen and I’m going to be forced to walk away from him. I’m trying to pull him closer with both hands and he’s fighting me every step of the way.”
Dom grunted. “But he’ll go to bed with you.”
I felt a fiery blush move up my throat. “Yeah, but I was the one that made all the first moves.”
“You’re chasing heartache, Royal.”
I groaned. “I know, but he’s a risk I have to take.” I was tired of thinking about my own too-hot-to-handle love life, so I switched the focus back to him. “Why does Ari think you need to get laid?” It was hilarious to hear his little sister state the fact so blandly.
He grumbled a nonanswer as the waitress finally brought our food. I didn’t miss the way she lingered by his side until he gave her a little wink and told her everything looked great. It was probably a good thing Dom wasn’t interested in the ladies, they would never stand a chance against his rugged good looks and rough-and-tumble charisma.
“I was seeing this guy—briefly. After I got home from the hospital, he never even bothered to stop by. It wasn’t like we were serious or anything, but a ‘hey, glad you didn’t die’ would’ve been nice.” He chomped on the burger a little angrily, which made me grin. “Ari thinks I need to find a boyfriend and settle down, but I’m pretty sure that’s actually Mom talking and not her.”