It hurt so bad, I had to throw the thought away before I burst into tears.
I stood in the small living room of the house I’d grown up in and decided not to be so selfish as to dwell on Micah right now. I was home. Mom deserved my attention because Micah got more than his fair share of it.
“What do you want to do today?” I asked. “I’m all yours.”
Mom grinned. “I was thinking we could go ice skating.”
Joy filled me. “Really?”
Ice skating had been our thing. Every birthday, no matter what other plans I had, my mom and I went ice skating. We couldn’t afford a lot growing up since it was only Mom for so long, which meant things other people took for granted were a treat for me. Stupid stuff like going to the movies, to the swimming pool, and ice skating.
So ice skating became our thing.
“I’d love that.”
“And it’s . . .” She smiled over her shoulder at Bryan. “It’s just you and me.”
Shocked, I looked at Bryan for confirmation. One of the other things that annoyed me was that even before Tellurian took off, I didn’t get to spend alone time with Mom once Bryan was in the picture. He insinuated himself into everything. Including my birthdays with Mom.
“You two go, catch up, have fun.” He promptly sat down on the couch and reached for the remote. “I’m going to be here watching the sports channel uninterrupted.”
Mom reached down to kiss his temple but my attention was drawn to the television, to the sight of me and the band on the entertainment news. Bryan turned the volume up.
The gorgeous female presenter stood in front of a digital screen where a clip of me and the band on The Tonight Show was playing.
“And the band Tellurian are trending on social media after their appearance on The Tonight Show. Or more specifically, the lead singer Skylar Finch and lead guitarist Micah Murphy are trending. Fans of the band have been sent into a social media spin when the chemistry between the two bandmates spilled into their interview on the show.”
I frowned as it cut to a clip from last night.
“I was going to ask you about that,” Mom murmured as she slid an arm across my shoulder.
I slumped into her, unable to tear my eyes away.
“You look beautiful, Sky,” Bryan murmured. “Doesn’t she look beautiful, Angie?”
“She does indeed.” Mom gave me a squeeze but I was focused on the interview.
“So, I can’t help but notice that you two look cozier than the rest of the band,” the host said with his usual dry mischief, gesturing toward Micah and me.
Micah had his arm along the back of the sofa where I sat, his long fingers resting on my shoulder. He was also pressed as close to me as he could get. Austin and Brandon sat casually at the end of the couch.
Prepared for questions about our relationship statuses, I’d opened my mouth to say, “We’ve all known each other a long time, we’re so comfortable with each other,” when Micah said, “Wouldn’t you cozy up to Skylar if you could?”
Shit.
I shot a look at my mom who watched the TV with a small smile playing on her lips.
The host had jumped right on it. “So, you two are a couple?”
“No,” I’d laughed, wishing I could shove my bandmate off me. And that’s when I gave him my rehearsed line.
Of which Micah followed up with, “Some of us are more comfortable with each other than others.” The audience oohed as the host raised an eyebrow.
Thankfully, Brandon broke in with a joke to deflect and we got off the subject.
But that was all it took.
Because now we were trending and on entertainment news.
“Jesus,” I huffed, pulling my phone out of my ass pocket.
My heart raced when I saw how many notifications my personal profiles now had on Twitter and Instagram. We were trending. #Miclar
Witty.
I was used to the band profile having tons of notifications, but this was worse. There were photos of us from different gigs everywhere that fans had taken, all of them of Micah cozying up to me on the stage. Basically, fans were saying they knew all along we were together, and how amazing it was.
It all seemed so infantile and stupid but they were going crazy for it.
My chest felt tight.
For the past year, we’d been in the public eye but it had only been about our music.
This felt . . . I didn’t like it. I wasn’t prepared for how invasive it felt. Like I was standing naked on stage.
“Honey, you okay?” Mom asked.
She couldn’t know. She’d sacrificed so much for me financially, and emotionally in her relationship with Bryan, to help make my dream come true. As far as she was concerned, everything was always better than okay.
I grinned, gesturing with my phone. “It’ll sell more records.”
She laughed, relieved. “True. Now grab your stuff—we’re going skating. And girl talk.”
“Sure.” I chuckled, shooting a look at Bryan before I left.
He was staring at me in a way I’d never seen before. Like I was suddenly a curiosity instead of a drain on his relationship with Mom. That’s what fame seemed to do. It made everyone see me differently—
A loud clatter shook me out of the memory and I looked around, dazed, feeling my heart beating too hard in my chest.
I was in a salon, surrounded by strangers, as a woman called Charmaine blow-dried my hair.
Charmaine had chatted away to me from the moment I’d sat down but as soon as she began blow-drying my hair, she’d stopped talking and my mind had been allowed to wander. For some reason, it wandered to that memory from so long ago.
I frowned, remembering the day after. There had been paparazzi waiting at the band entrance to The Pub Station, trying to get past our security as they shouted at Micah and me, asking if we were a couple.
Why was this so fascinating?
It had freaked me out and Micah had tried to comfort me, but I was mad at him for making what was between us public.
He’d come to regret it too because from that moment on, the fans’ obsession with us as a couple, like we were a freaking epic love story playing out for their entertainment, compelled the tabloids to come after us. Suddenly, I found myself front page of a tabloid magazine in cut-off jeans, an old shirt, and sunglasses as I made a trip to the grocery store. But there was an unidentified guy with me so it was big news because who was he? Where was Micah? How did Micah feel about this unidentified guy?
From there, it escalated. If someone took an unflattering photo, I found myself on the front page with a red circle around my belly. Was I pregnant? Was it Micah’s? What did this mean for the band?
Or I’d be in an article for a teen magazine with a picture of me in the airport blown up with arrows pointing at my skin with the headline, “Even pop-rock sensation Skylar Finch has her bad skin days!”
Everyone had an opinion about everything. My music, my voice, my looks, my clothes, and the people I chose to spend time with. Every post on social media, every article in a magazine, and every tiring interview we had to give.
I started to feel like I didn’t own my life. After a while, ironically, I felt like I was disappearing.
“Can I get you more water?” A junior stylist appeared at my side as soon as Charmaine switched off the hair dryer.
I shook my head, thankful for the interruption from my gloomy thoughts. “I’m fine, thanks.”
The trip to the salon had been a little overwhelming. Like everything lately. But after Killian met Autumn and me at the grocery store, I’d said that I wanted more than a hair trim. He’d repeated that he didn’t think dying my hair rainbow colors and going back to my old look was a good direction for my solo launch; I said that I had no intention of doing that but I knew what I wanted, and it would take more than a quick house call from a hairstylist.
So he’d called Charmaine and she booked me into her salon. It was clear she’d put a lot of money into the business. The shiny, white-tiled floor sparkled with embedded silver crystals and the main walls were a soft gray, while partition walls were a deep, dark pinkish-red color. The chairs were modern, square white leather, and the mirrors were all floor to ceiling with chunky white frames. It was cool contemporary with a splash of drama. It also said “you’ll pay a small fortune to get your hair cut here but it’ll be worth it.”