Forcing myself to remember the morning after I’d been slipped the Brew more clearly, I tried to see my father and the younger servant. Things had looked tense and his back had been to me most of the time. I’d assumed that he’d been talking by the reaction of the other servant.
I hadn’t seen him talk.
Shooting to my feet, I heard Laadan’s little gasp of surprise. Even I was a little shocked by how fast I moved. The marks of the Apollyon appeared on my skin and tingled as they glided in various directions. She couldn’t see them, but some innate sense coaxed her to scoot back.
“They cut out his tongue?” Power surged over my skin.
“Yes.”
That was it. I was going to take out the Council and every freaking Master on this planet. Bad, dangerous thoughts, but gods, how could they do something like that?
“How can I be so surprised?” I said out loud, and then laughed madly. “How am I surprised by this, Laadan?”
There was no answer.
Turning away, I struggled to control my fury. Already I could hear the branches slapping along the side of the cabin. Knowing my luck, I’d probably cause an earthquake. Controlling the elements was easy, but I’d learned through the Awakening that my emotions affected them, made them violent and unpredictable.
As did the amount of aether, the essence of the gods, that coursed through my veins.
Our society had always been cruel to the half-bloods. Pures had always taken a role of dominance, and the things that I knew went on behind the closed doors of some of the pures—things no one talked about, things I wanted to rage about—happened every day. And like every other half, I’d been in a subservient role my entire life. I’d grown up being taught to accept these things, because there was no other choice for me, or for any other half. Even after living in the mortal world, I’d come back into the fold, barely missing a step when I’d seen the servants.
And only once had I intervened. I’d received a punch in a jaw for it, but stopping a Master from striking a female servant was nothing compared to what those halfs went through.
In reality, it was more than accepting the Breed Order. I’d grown cold to it, because it hadn’t affected me.
And that was inexcusable.
Stepping away, I ran my hands down my outer thighs. The breath I inhaled was harsh. This was bigger than me and my own problems with becoming a Sentinel and continuing on while others of my kind were enslaved. This was more than my father. It was the Breed Order.
“This has to change,” I said.
“I agree, but…”
But now, right this instant, there was nothing I could do. Believe it or not, we had bigger problems. The Breed Order and how halfs were treated wouldn’t matter if we were all dead.
Facing Laadan, I realized something huge—huge to me, at least. Old Alex would’ve probably stormed off somewhere and kicked a Master in the junk. A huge part of me wanted to do that, but the new Alex—this girl/woman/whatever who came out of nowhere knew that some battles had tobe planned.
That new Alex waited.
I sort of struck myself speechless.
Laadan, more observant than I realized, smiled and patted the spot beside her. “You’re growing up.”
“I am?” Seemed late in the game for that sort of nonsense. I sat, and when she nodded, I sighed and sounded ten years older. “Growing up sucks, then.”
“There is a naiveté to young selfishness.”
My brows rose. I was itchy, like I had slipped on more responsible and mature skin and a part of me didn’t like that. Shaking it off, I went back to my dad. “You talk to him a lot?”
“As much as I can. Communication is one-sided at times, but he can write, obviously. I know he got your letter, but unfortunately with everything happening, I do not know his response or if he had the chance.”
I nodded in a jerking motion. “Do you know where he is right now?”
She fingered the lace on the edge of her sweater. “Alexander is at the New York Covenant.”
“He’s still there?” When she nodded, I wanted to get up and figure out how to get to New York, but logic seeped in. It would be near impossible to get to him. And with Seth out there, looking for us? It would just be plain stupid to go running off.
“When the Elixir stopped working, there was a lot of confusion among the servants. There are very few like him who resisted the compulsions. Those who are going through their own awakening of sorts need a leader, and that is your father. There is a lot of turmoil there, with the recent attack and with what the First is doing.”
But I wanted to scream that I needed him here with me. Wasn’t I more important? His long-lost daughter? I frowned. Well, good to see some of my naïve selfishness was still present.
“Does he still love my mother?” I asked, peeking at her.
Her expression was guarded. “I think a part of him will always love her.”
“Do you love him?” I blurted out.
Laadan swallowed and a long pause followed. In the gap, I heard someone moving around in the kitchen.
I started to grin. “You like him.”
Looking away, her lips pursed.
I nudged her with my elbow. “You like him a lot.”
She drew herself up. “Your father—”
“Is the love of your life?”
“Alexandria,” she snapped, but there was no real heat to her tone.
I laughed as I leaned back against the cool windowpane. I knew that my parents had this wondrous, forbidden love affair that started long before Stepfather Douchey had come into the picture. And if it hadn’t been for the Breed… the godsdamn Breed Order, they’d still be together. Gods, so many things would be different. Namely my mother… she’d still be alive, because I bet my dad was like Aiden. He would’ve never allowed anything to happen to my mom.
Laadan’s lips curved up at the corners. “You are so much like your father. Your stubbornness and tenacity.” Her gaze went to the closed door. The smell of fresh coffee grew. “And just like your father, you dared to love a pure-blood.”
My mouth opened. Touché. “Well, I kind of walked into that one.”
I thought she snickered, but I had to be wrong, because that would be so unladylike of her.
For some odd reason, some of the weight lifted from my shoulders and I went from vengeful, albeit more mature Alex, to girlie-girl in less than two seconds flat. “I do love him. I really do. More than… more than I probably should.”
She patted my hand. “You can never love someone more than you probably should.”
I wasn’t sure about that.
“He loves you just as strongly. It was obvious to me from the beginning.”
“It was?”
“The Aiden I knew, the one before he went to Atlanta to find you, had always respected and viewed halfs equally, but he never would’ve taken time away from his Sentinel duties to help any half.”
Knowing what had been done to his parents in front of him while he was a small boy, I could see where she would think that. Becoming a Sentinel and avenging his parents had become everything to him.
“And then I saw the way he was around you in New York.” Her smiled turned wistful again. “It’s all in the way he looked at you—the way he constantly looked at you. You were his world, probably before either of you realized that.”
“You could tell all that by the way he looked at me?” I may’ve sounded skeptical, but oh, wow, that girlie-girl was jumping and shrieking inside me.
Laadan laughed then, the sound like wind chimes. “He watched you like a man starved for the only thing that could fulfill his hunger.”
My eyes popped out and my body flushed about a thousand shades of red. “Oh, wow…”
That was TMI. How come more people hadn’t noticed that? And then it hit me. Laadan would know, because it was how she looked at my father… and probably had witnessed my father looking at my mother in the same manner.
I was suddenly very sad for her.
Scooting closer to her, I wrapped my arms around her slender shoulders. It was awkward at first, because I seriously gave the worst hugs. “Thank you.”
Tears filled her eyes again. “Talking to you about your father is the least I could do. If you like, there are many stories I can tell you. It will be a… joy to speak openly about them.”
“I’d like that,” I whispered.
Laadan rested her cheek atop my head, and in that moment, she reminded me so much of my mom that it was almost too much to keep the tears at bay, but I couldn’t stop the question that formed on the tip of my tongue.
“Do you think I’ll ever get to meet him?”
Her embrace tightened. “You will. Both of you are determined enough to make it happen. I have no doubt.”
Closing my eyes, I latched onto her words. I wanted to believe them—I needed to—but doubt swelled like bitter wisps of acrid smoke. A lot stood between me and my father—years of rules and secrets existed, an army of half-man/half-bulls, and most importantly, Seth.
CHAPTER 12
A few hours later, I stood in the warded-up clearing by the cabin, covered in mud and chilled to the bone. All around me, the sounds of grunts and hard falls echoed through the otherwise silent forest.
I glanced down at my dirty hands and sighed. I was filthy. Maybe I’d get a repeat of that shower later. My gaze found Aiden’s lithe form. He was fighting Luke. In other words, he was repeatedly kicking Luke’s ass.
I doubted a shower repeat was on the menu.
A sharp pang of dissatisfaction formed in the back of my throat. I’d really thought that, since I was supposed to be training, I’d end up with Aiden and it would be like old times with a lot more touchy-feely stuff going on. Boy, was I wrong.
Solos exhaled loudly. “How long are you going to stare at your hands? I’m not getting any younger over here.”
But oh no, the moment we stepped outside, Aiden had paired up with Luke and Olivia, Lea with Marcus. Deacon and Laadan were inside, supposedly making dinner.
Now I was in full internal whine mode.
I moved forward, wincing as my cold jeans chafed my skin. “I don’t think this is the kind of training Apollo had in mind.”
Solos tucked a loose strand of hair back behind his ear. “When’s the last time you trained?”
I honestly couldn’t remember. “I was fighting, like, two days ago.”
“One day in the span of many means nothing.” Broken branches crunched under his booted feet. “Our muscles need to be used daily.”
I caught the tail end of Luke ending up on his butt. “I think they could use your help more. I could be working on using akasha right now. Seth has years of practical experience on me.”
“And you will work with that, but not right now.” Solos was nowhere near as patient as some of my previous trainers had been. He ranked up there with Romvi.
Eyes narrowing, I raised my hand. “I could just use the air element and knock—”
“Alex,” Aiden snapped, stopping Luke’s vicious kick with one hand. He gently pushed him back as thundercloud eyes sharpened on me. “I also doubt Apollo meant for your mouth to be the only thing getting a workout.”