“So you have been avoiding me.”
I paused. “Was that a trick question?”
He rolled his eyes, shifting so he rested against the wall. I moved so my side was against it too, and we stood even closer now. “Just tell me what’s going on with you.”
“I can’t. That’s the problem.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I did, that’d lead to a whole other conversation, and to be honest, I’m almost shitting my pants even thinking about that conversation. So yeah. I’m here, but I don’t want to talk about why I haven’t been here, and I just want to be here for you. That whole last sentence doesn’t make sense, but I don’t care. Can we truce it for the night?”
“No.”
My shoulders slumped. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t like it. Why the disappearing act? I won’t let you stay until you tell me. Is it because you have feelings for me?”
“WHAT?!” My eyes snapped open.
“Because if you think you have feelings for me, you’re wrong.”
“I am?”
He shook his head, a slight smirk there, and hooked a finger into a loop on my waistband. He pulled me closer, lowering his head. “There’s lust between us. I’m going to give that to you, and knowing how screwed up you are about your stepbrother, I can understand if you got it twisted. You don’t have feelings for me.”
“I don’t?”
He was wrong. But he was making it okay to be around him, and I was going with it. I needed to be here. I couldn’t have stayed away any longer anyway.
I was so weak.
“No.” He pulled me the rest of the way until there was no distance between us.
I felt him. I felt the thump of his heart. I felt the heat of his body, and I especially felt how he wanted me. I was salivating.
He lowered his head until his breath warmed my lips. “But here’s my warning for you: I need you tonight. Don’t run.” He pulled his head back, his eyes searching mine. “Please don’t run.”
He delivered a bomb to me and stepped back as it detonated. I felt wrecked, but I could only nod, because in that moment, I would’ve given him anything. I was his for the night. I was maybe his for more than the night, and if he wanted to call it a lie, I didn’t care.
I whispered, “I won’t.”
His hand cupped the side of my face, his thumb resting on my cheek, and I felt the tension leave his body. Everything relaxed, and his forehead came down to mine. “Thank you.”
I cupped the side of his face, too, but I bit down on my lip. I kept the words from spilling out, the ones that wanted to be released so badly.
He was wrong. My feelings weren’t just misplaced emotions. They were a lot more than that.
“Mr. Banks?”
A nurse came down the hallway in blue scrubs.
Caden stiffened, readying himself, and turned around. “Yeah? Is he okay?”
She nodded, a tight smile on her face. “He’s awake and asking for you.” Her eyes moved to me. “Family only for now. Doctor’s orders.”
“Yeah. I know. That’s fine.” He reached behind him and grabbed my hand. He held on tight. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” She started to leave, but paused a few steps away. “Would you and your guest like some coffee? I was going to take a quick break myself. I can bring some back.”
“That’d be great. Thank you again.”
She nodded, and a sad and weathered smile filtered across her face. “I can bring you coffee all night, if you’d like. That’ll never be a problem.”
I had a flashback to when my mom was in the hospital. Another nurse had said the same thing, “I’ll be here with you all night.” She’d offered blankets, a pillow, coffee, water, snacks. She’d come in every hour to check on us. And I knew she looked through the door more often than that, just to make sure my mother was still breathing.
I felt tears threatening, so I concentrated on Caden and touched his hand. He caught mine and held on tight, only releasing it when he stepped inside his brother’s room. As the door opened, I looked down. It wasn’t fair for me to see his brother the way he was, not the first time I met him. Every time Caden went to his brother’s room, I looked away until the door closed.
That’s how we spent the next two hours.
Caden would go in, stay for a bit, and I would wait in the hallway. After the second time she noticed me, the nurse brought me a chair, then a blanket, and I had my perch there. Caden wouldn’t stay inside long. He’d do ten or fifteen minutes, then come out when his brother fell back asleep. He’d always grab my hand when he returned, and that made it all worth it. Whatever this was, whatever was going on with us, it would all be worth it.
After the third hour, Caden leaned against the wall beside my chair. The bags under his eyes were drooping further and further. “Maybe you should head back for the night?”
“What are you going to do?”
He glanced in the window, through a crack in the blinds. “I have no idea. I hoped Marcus would come tonight.”
Caden hadn’t told me what happened. It was on the edge of my tongue to ask, but even before Diego dropped me off at the hospital, I knew it had something to do with Colton’s secret. I ached seeing the pain on Caden’s face, and I ached even more not understanding what had put it there.
I squeezed his hand. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”