I pick up First Day on Earth. These are not his words, but they are words he’s guided me to. For now, that’s enough.
I have spent too much of the day sleeping. I read for a little while, and then spend the rest of the night dreaming.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I wake up really cold, then start the furnace and suffer as it gets way too hot. I guess these are my options.
I know A won’t be back right away, but I also know that even if he wakes up five hours away, he’ll find a way to be here. I just have to keep myself occupied until then.
I finish reading First Day on Earth and wish I’d brought a longer book, or even my homework. Artie doesn’t have any books around that I can find. Only back issues of magazines like Field & Stream.
There’s an old newspaper where the crossword hasn’t been done. I try that, but I’m not very good at it. I play some games on my phone, and even walk around outside for a little in the hope of getting reception.
I am bored. So bored. And, even worse, I can hear Justin laughing at me, telling me, “What did you think would happen?”
“He’s coming,” I say.
“Yeah, right.”
No. I cannot be having this conversation in my head. I look at the clock. It’s after one. He should be here by now.
He’s not coming.
But he promised.
I feel stupider and stupider as the day goes on. I’m wandering around in a T-shirt and boxers, it’s so hot.
Finally, I hear a car coming. Driving up. Stopping.
All of the doubts I’ve been denying now turn themselves into relief.
I run for the door and throw it open. I’m about to jump into A’s arms—when I realize the guy in front of me is very old and has a dead deer across his shoulders.
I scream.
He also screams, stumbling back.
I scream again and retreat into the cabin.
“Who the hell are you?” the man yells.
I want to slam the door, but I can’t. He’s still yelling.
“You’re trespassing! Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Are you alone?”
He’s looking at me now. Seeing a girl. Seeing my legs.
“I’m Artie’s niece,” I say. “Artie’s my uncle. This is his cabin. I’m not trespassing.”
He looks skeptical, and I really wish he’d put the deer down. It’s making me nauseous.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” the man says. “If you even are Artie’s niece.”
“One second,” I say. I scramble for my wallet, find my license. When I come back, he’s put the deer back in his truck, thank God.
“You see,” I say, holding out the license. “We have the same name.”
“Fine. Doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be here.”
“You can call him,” I challenge, knowing there’s no way, and hoping Artie will cover for me if there is. “He must’ve mixed things up.”
“Well, you’re about to get a whole lot more company. We’ve been hunting all morning, and Artie told us we could clean the skins here and do our business.”
The vegetarian in me is horrified. But I’m stuck.
“One second,” I tell the man again. I close the door and change into as many pieces of clothing as I can. I pack up all my things.
But I can’t leave, because what if A comes? I am so mad at him for abandoning me but I can’t risk abandoning him.
So I stay. As more men arrive. As they look at me funny. As they stare at me. They bring in more kills, and set up an area outside to skin the animals. I reread the only book I have. I go out to the car. I try to avoid everyone, but eventually I have to use the toilet, and there’s no room to move.
I hold out for another two hours. Then I give up.
It’s too late. A can’t be coming. I need to get home.
The whole ride back, I seethe.
I check my phone as soon as I get reception. I expect an email. I expect some explanation.
Nothing. A’s told me nothing.
He could have woken up paralyzed. He might be somewhere without a computer. He might not have a car.
I grasp for excuses. But I feel desperate doing it.
The worse answer is that A got what he wanted, and now it’s over. Just like every other guy. And I am just like every other girl who’s been stupid enough to think her guy would be different.
A isn’t a guy, I remind myself.
But really, it doesn’t matter.
I still feel stood up.
I still feel alone.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I wake up early, assuming A will wake up early, too, dying to explain to me what happened. I’ll learn what was wrong with yesterday’s body, why he couldn’t make it.
But there’s nothing in my inbox. No word.
The littler fears are giving up. The worse fears are coming closer.
I try to avoid Justin. Not because I’ve done something wrong (which I have), but because I’m afraid he’ll smell it on me.
Rebecca asks me how my grandmother is doing. I tell her my grandmother is fine.
I keep checking my email. I keep finding it empty.
I think about ditching lunch, but then I figure there have been so many questions about my behavior lately that it’s probably better to go along with the day as it usually is.
Luckily, Lindsay Craig threw a party on Saturday night, which is all anyone at our table can talk about. Stephanie thought she saw Steve kissing a girl from another high school, but Steve swears that was all in Stephanie’s drunk eye.