She paused. It wasn't kind to the poor things to say "I don't love them
the same."
"Do you like us so awfully, then?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad you like us."
They were silent.
Up and down the flagged terrace above them Aunt Adeline and Uncle Robert
walked together. The sound of his voice came to them, low and troubled.
Anne listened, "Is anything wrong?" she said. "They've been like that
for ages."
"Daddy's bothered about Eliot."
"Eliot?"
"About his wanting to be a doctor."
"Is Auntie Adeline bothered?"
"No. She would be if she knew. But she doesn't think it'll happen. She
never thinks anything will happen that she doesn't like. But it will.
They can't keep him off it. He's been doing medicine at Cambridge
because they won't let him go and do it at Bart's. It's just come out
that he's been at it all the time. Working like blazes."
"Why shouldn't he be a doctor if he likes?"
"Because he's the eldest son. It wouldn't matter so much if it was only
Colin or me. But Eliot ought to have the estate. And he says he won't
have it. He doesn't want it. He says Daddy's got to leave it to me.
That's what's worrying the dear old thing. He thinks it wouldn't be
fair."
"Who to?"
Jerrold laughed. "Why, to _Eliot_. He's got it into his dear old head
that he _ought_ to have it. He can't see that Eliot knows his own
business best. It _would_ be most awfully in his way... It's pretty
beastly for me, too. I don't like taking it when I know Daddy wants
Eliot to have it. That's to say, he _doesn't_ want; he'd like me to have
it, because I'd take care of it. But that makes him all the more stuck
on Eliot, because he thinks it's the right thing. I don't like having it
in any case."
"Why ever not?"
"Well, I _can_ only have it if Daddy dies, and I'd rather die myself
first."
"That's how I feel about my farm."
"Beastly, isn't it? Still, I'm not worrying. Daddy's frightfully
healthy, thank Heaven. He'll live to be eighty at the very least. Why--I
should be fifty."
"_You're_ all right," said Anne. "But it's awful for me. Grandpapa might
die any day. He's seventy-five _now_. It'll be ages before you're
fifty."
"And I may never be it. India may polish me off long before that." He
laughed his happy laugh. The idea of his own death seemed to Jerrold
irresistibly funny.
"_India_?"
He laughed again at her dismay.
"Rather. I'm going in for the Indian Civil."
"Oh Jerrold--you'll be away years and years, nearly all the time, like
Daddy, and I shan't ever see you."
"I shan't start for ages. Not for five years. Lots of time to see each
other in."