“Not my concern?” she cries, and her eyes fill with tears. “I’ve been busting my ass trying with you, Axel. And for what? You’ve given me nothing. Nothing! I let you show me what eats at you, and I accepted it, but you’re still holding back. You still don’t trust me enough to share it all with me. When are you going to give me a bigger piece of yourself?”
I glare at her, and my anger boils over. “I was goin’ to give you a piece of myself, Meadow. Tonight. I was going to patch you in as my old lady, because I want you in my fuckin’ life. I want to try. I want to give you somethin’ that you can hang on to.”
Her eyes widen, and a little gasp escapes her lips. “What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me. I’m claimin’ you.”
She shakes her head, backing up. “You don’t get to just claim me, Axel. It’s not that easy.”
“Do you want me, Meadow?”
She shakes her head, her eyes wide. “What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me,” I grunt.
“I do, but...”
“Do you want to walk away from me?”
“No, but...”
“Then that makes you mine. I’m claimin’ you, because I want you in my bed every fuckin’ day, and I’m sick of denying that.”
Her mouth forms a tiny O, and she continues walking backward.
“You killed my father,” she croaks out. “You chased me across the country for nearly two years. You treated me like a dog, and you hurt me. You lied to me. You kept yourself away from me. Through all of that I still fought for you, hoping there was something left. Now you’re going to just tell me I’m yours, and it’s all happy days? I don’t think so,” she whispers.
What?
I narrow my eyes. “You fuckin’ rejectin’ me, Cricket?”
“I’m no one’s property, Axel, especially not yours. I’m never going to give myself to someone who refuses to be honest with me.”
“It was one fuckin’ thing!”
“You want me to be your old lady?” she growls. “Then open the last door. Tell me what happened to you those months you were away.”
My eyes harden, and my skin crawls. She can’t ask me that shit. It ain’t for her to know. “No.”
“Then this,” she says, pointing between the two of us, “is fucking done. Don’t you follow me.”
She turns, and runs out the door, not giving me a chance to react. I slam my hands against the table, and pain cascades through my heart.
Fuck it. I can’t be back here.
I close my eyes, and drop my head into my hands. It’s all been fuckin’ too much. Chasin’ her across the country, then havin’ her in my bed, and opening something I never thought I’d open, then my fuckin’ father shows up, and now we’re here. I need to end this shit, once and for all. I’m tired of chasing, tired of hiding. I’m getting my girl back, even if she doesn’t fuckin’ want it.
Then it hits me, hard, like a ton of bricks.
She’s still got my USB.
CHAPTER 23
MEADOW
Promises are made to be broken, that’s why the words were never spoken.
He doesn’t come after me. Not that I expected him to. So, I flag down a cab and order him to take me to the police station. I need answers. I don’t trust Raide, but I want to hear his side of it. My entire destiny has been warped. Everything I’ve looked forward to, everything I’ve believed in has been slammed into the dirt, and crushed. I can’t begin to process everything that’s been put into my life, but I do know there’s always a reason for it.
Axel has a reason—a purpose—I just don’t know what it is.
I know I love him. I’ve known it for long enough now.
It doesn’t change that I can’t keep fighting against a soulless man. He doesn’t want to let me in. He’s refusing to acknowledge what this really is. He wants me as an old lady, just a girl that does as she’s told. That’s not me. I need him to love me. I need him to want more than just a claim. He doesn’t, though, because he won’t open up. That should have been my answer then, and it’s certainly my answer now.
Axel and I are done.
The minute the cab pulls up to the police station, I get out, handing the driver a twenty. Then I stand out front, staring up at the big building. I need a toilet before I go in there. I’m fully aware that I still have a USB drive in a place a USB drive shouldn’t be. I don’t know if that makes me feel more powerful, or if I’ll just throw it in the mail and send it back to Axel, cutting all ties forever. He’ll want this. His father will want this. I’m tired of being the meat between the sandwich. If he has it, he can deal with it.
I find a public toilet, and my heart aches as a sense of loss washes through me. As much as I hated how Axel and my relationship has been, it was still mine, and because of that, letting it go is like letting go of my home. I felt a certain comfort around Axel and the guys. I can’t explain it, because there really was nothing that happened to make me feel at ease, but I did. Now, here I am, in a toilet, about to go in and talk to a man I don’t trust.
I don’t know why I’m here.
I finish up in the toilet, and dispose of the condom before tucking the USB into my knickers, just to keep it safe. Then I make my way back to the station. I stare at the front doors for a long moment, struggling to breathe. I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea, but I know I have to do it. I need to know how Raide played his part in this, so I can decide for myself how this story is meant to unfold.