Her stomach tightened. “No,” she bit out. Maximum pain. “Why did Uriel want to hurt him that way?”
“They’re old enemies.” Delia shrugged. “And Uriel didn’t exactly enjoy the fact that Sam was able to trap him. Now everyone knows that the great punisher came close to dying by a Fallen’s hand.”
“So he took his pound of flesh.” No, Sammael had sacrificed that flesh, for her. Seline swallowed, trying to choke down the lump in her throat. “What’s hell like?”
“You’ll see, soon enough.”
Was that a threat? She hadn’t expected one from Delia. Maybe I should have.
Delia’s shoulders bowed. “It’s part of our duty. We can travel between earth, heaven, and hell. We go where the punishment takes us.”
“So I’ll be able to see Sam?” Yes, that was hope making her voice rise.
“See him,” Delia agreed, but shook her head as she said, “not talk to him, not . . . touch him, not until his sentence is over.”
“How long is his sentence?” She didn’t like this plan. Not at all. Her hands fisted.
“For redemption, Sammael has to serve a thousand years in hell.”
Seline leapt to her feet. “What?”
Delia stared back at her. “No angel has ever come back to heaven after choosing to fall. Sammael is to be used as an example—”
“Who decided that, Uriel? He’s a—”
“You’ll still be alive when Sammael’s sentence is done. He can come back here to you.”
After a thousand years in hell. She blinked to clear eyes gone blurry. “What will happen to him there?”
“Torture. Pain. Nightmares that won’t stop.”
He’d already had enough of that. “He doesn’t deserve that punishment.”
Delia’s wings shifted a bit. “It’s not really punishment. It’s his choice. He’s trading time in hell—and the agony that time will bring—for his wings.”
Her hands clenched. I’m sorry, Sam. “I’m not letting him do it.” She rushed for the doors that weren’t barred any longer. They hadn’t been barred since she’d visited the mortal realm and seen Sam. Don’t fall for me! She could still hear his voice, but Seline was ignoring those words.
“You don’t know what it’s like, do you?” Delia’s voice called after her. “The fall, I mean.”
Seline glanced back. “No, I don’t know, and I don’t care—I’m going back to him. He’s not going to—” burn. “He won’t suffer for me.” Not for a thousand freaking years.
“There’s a reason he told you not to fall.”
And how did Delia know about that? She’d thought the angel vanished after delivering her to Sam.
The angel’s lips lifted, just for a moment. Almost a smile. “Word spread. There were eyes watching that you didn’t know about, and when Uriel got that strike from above . . . well, that was sure something folks wanted to know about up here.”
“I need to be with Sam,” Seline said quietly. “When I’m away from him, I just hurt.”
“You’ll hurt more if you fall.” Delia didn’t move toward her. “Your wings will burn away, and it will be a pain unlike anything you’ve felt before.” Her lips tightened. “Or so I’ve been told.”
“I’m not afraid of pain.” A hellhound had ripped out her throat. So what was a bit of fire supposed to do? If she remembered correctly, a giant ball of flames had surrounded her right before she’d woken to heaven.
“It’s not the pain you need to worry about.”
Okay, now that sounded a bit scary. What was she supposed to fear if not the pain? “Look, I’m not cut out to be an angel. I can’t just—”
“You feel too much. I can see it. We all can. But we truly believe that the longer you’re here, the less you’ll . . . suffer.”
So that, what, in a thousand years, when Sam was flying with his wings again, she wouldn’t even care?
“I’m going back home.” To her real home. The only one she’d ever had. Sam. He was home to her. Love. Safety.
Hers.
Seline turned away, and her hands pushed against the doors.
But Delia was still talking. She warned, “You won’t have a memory. Not of heaven. Not of Sam. Not of the life you knew before him. That all gets wiped away in the fall.”
Az hadn’t known who he was at first, either. “Az’s memory came back. So did Sam’s.”
A pause, then Delia said, “Provided you can stay alive, and all those Other out there desperate for angel blood don’t kill you and drain you, then your memory will come back. Eventually. But that eventually part is different for every angel. It could be months. Could be years. You’ll walk the earth, alone, hurt, thinking that you have no one.”
So she walked alone for a few years or Sam suffered for a millennia. Um . . . not such a hard choice.
“Why?” Delia’s voice was ragged, and Seline knew the angel realized there would be no changing her mind.
Seline shoved with all of her strength, and the doors flew fully open. Light washed over her. “Because I love him.”
A sharp breath. “That’s just what Erina said.”
Now she risked one final glance over her shoulder. “I guess I am like her.” So much more than she’d realized. Then Seline tilted her head back and felt the light warm her flesh. “I’m ready to go home.” I’m ready to fall.
Not for punishment. Not because she’d sinned. But because she loved.
All you have to do is ask for help.
Her eyes closed. “Please,” Seline whispered, and knew that she was heard. “I want to fall.”
The wind whipped in her ears. The floor beneath her feet disappeared. Her body plummeted. Fast, faster . . .
The pain would come, she knew it, yet right then, all she could think was—
Sam.
Blood dripped down his back. Sam didn’t feel the pain any longer. The skin was gone. Stripped slowly away by an angel with no mercy.
It didn’t matter. The flesh would grow back eventually.
“You can’t do this,” Az said, pacing in front of him. “This plan is just insane. You were always desperate to get off the clouds, and now you’re bargaining to get back upstairs?”
Sam didn’t speak.
“Insane,” Az muttered again.