I nodded weakly. I’d spent the last few weeks trying to come up with “something.” Somehow I doubted one more night was going to help.
“You look beautiful, by the way,” he told me, releasing me from the hug. A fatherly smile filled his face. “Your dad would say the same thing. Absolutely gorgeous.”
I smiled at him. When Gus said it, it felt true. It came from a father, so I trusted that was what my dad would think as well.
“Thank you.”
“You’ve had a long night. My replacement is just clocking in. We can leave as soon as he’s ready.”
I nodded. He went back to the security desk and reached over to his chair to grab his jacket. It was a nice heavy wool coat that he draped over my shoulders. I reached up and tucked it around my chin. I suddenly felt exhausted.
It was only a few moments before the replacement night guard came and took over for Gus. Together, we walked to his car and he made sure I buckled my seat belt before he started the engine. Old jazz songs filled the interior of the car as he drove me home.
Gus made sure to walk me all the way up to my door.
“You go straight to bed, young lady,” he said as I opened my door. I saw him do a security sweep of the place with his eyes. “I’ll call you in the morning and check in on you, but if you need anything, anything at all, you call me. I’m here for you, kiddo.”
My dad used to call me kiddo.
“Thanks, Gus,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “I really appreciate it.”
“Always,” he whispered. He gave me a squeeze. “We’ll figure this out. Henry’s a good man, and if he loves you, then there’s a way. I promise there’s one.”
I wished I could have as much faith as Gus did.
I hugged him again. He closed the door behind him and waited until he heard the click of the lock to head back down to his car.
I stood in the middle of my apartment, my dress dirty on the edges and my makeup smudged beyond repair. I felt empty. I had love, but I couldn’t keep it. I didn’t know what to do and I was too tired to come up with any plan.
I slid out of the dress, carefully laying it on the couch with the shoes. Someone would be by to pick them up later. I wished I had the mask, but I’d dropped it when I ran. I ached to have something to remember the good part of the night by, but just like in life, I couldn’t keep anything I wanted.
I didn’t want to start crying again, so I put on a comfortable holey old t-shirt and crawled into bed. I was fairly sure I would never fall asleep, but the moment my head hit the pillow, I couldn’t stop the fall into darkness.
Chapter 26
I woke just before dawn with a dry mouth and itchy eyes. It was never a good idea to fall asleep with a ton of makeup on and without brushing my teeth.
I groaned and rolled out of bed. I wasn’t sure if I wanted coffee or a shower more, so I started them both. I took my coffee to the bathroom and I set my cup on the sink so I could reach out and grab a sip while still getting a shower at the same time. There were perks to having a small bathroom.
The shower and coffee helped wake me up, but did nothing for the feeling of dark dread that hung around my head.
Henry was a prince. A freaking prince.
And he loved me.
What did that mean for us? Even if I wasn’t going to be convicted of selling secrets, or my stepmother wasn’t making my life a living nightmare, what would we do? I couldn’t just move into the castle with him in Paradisa. My life was here. My dreams were here.
I loved him, but I didn’t see how we were going to make it work. He was a prince and I was about as far from royalty as a stray cat. I knew my bloodlines had no blue in them. I was a nobody.
I closed my eyes and let the hot water wash over me. Maybe if I stayed under the water long enough, my problems would wash away along with the soapy bubbles. Maybe I could come out and find that everything was okay.
My skin was wrinkled and bright pink by the time I ran out of coffee and finally got the courage to leave the shower. I didn’t want to check my phone, although I knew I should. I knew I would have to talk to Henry eventually.
I just wanted to put off breaking his heart for as long as possible.
I put on a comfy pair of leggings and an over-sized t-shirt, leaving my hair wet around my shoulders. Then I took a deep breath and checked my phone.