"My father, I am told, married into a family whose crest is traced
back to the tenth century. I carry a coat-of-arms older yet--the
Cross; it dates back eighteen hundred years--yes, many thousand
years, and so I feel myself the nobler of the two. Had you been more
of a disciple of Christ, and less of a disciple of man, you would
have realised this truth long ago, as I realise it to-day. No man
should dare stand before his fellows as a revealer of divine
knowledge until he has penetrated the inmost recesses of his own
soul, and found God's holy image there; and until he can show others
the way to the same wonderful discovery. The God you worshipped was
far away in the heavens, so far that he could not come to you and
save you from your baser self in the hour of temptation. But the
true God has been miraculously revealed to me. He dwells within; one
who has found Him, will never debase His temple.
"Though there is no legal obstacle now in the path to our union,
there is a spiritual one which is insurmountable. I NO LONGER LOVE
YOU. I am sorry for you, but that is all. You belonged to my
yesterday--you can have no part in my to-day. The man who tempted me
in my weak hour to go lower, could not help me to go higher. And my
face is set toward the heights.
"I must prove to that world that a child born under the shadow of
shame, and of two weak, uncontrolled parents, can be virtuous,
strong, brave and sensible. That she can conquer passion and
impulse, by the use of her divine inheritance of will; and that she
can compel the respect of the public by her discreet life and lofty
ideals.
"I shall stay in this place until I have vindicated my name and
character from every aspersion cast upon them. I shall retain my
position of organist, and retain it until I have accumulated
sufficient means to go abroad and prepare myself for the musical
career in which I know I can excel. I am young, strong and
ambitious. My unusual sorrows will give me greater power of
character if I accept them as spiritual tonics--bitter but
strengthening.
"Farewell, and may God be with you.
"Joy Irving."
When the rector of St Blank's returned from the Beryngford Cemetery,
where he had placed the body of his wife beside her father, he found
this letter lying on his table in the hotel.