“I can get you whatever you want.”
I don’t remember much after that.
CHAPTER TWENTY
FATE WILL FIND A WAY
I Can’t Not Love You ~ Every Avenue
Kiss Me ~ Ed Sheeran
All My Heart ~ Sleeping With Sirens
SCARLETT
I rode back to the apartment with Max and Ash followed us in his car. Max and I needed a few minutes alone to discuss the whole messed up situation.
“Are you okay, Max?” I asked.
He grabbed my hand closest to him and squeezed it tightly. “I’ll be fine, Scarlett. Don’t worry about me. You’ve got enough going on in your head than to feel any guilt for me. I knew how he was gonna react. That’s why I came outside. I gave you a few minutes alone to tell him, but I knew once you told him he would come looking for me, and I didn’t want it to be inside in front of people,” he explained calmly. “I would’ve reacted the exact same way if I was in his shoes, which is why I let him hit me once. I deserved that one, but I wasn’t about to let him do it again. I can’t believe you stepped in front of me. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I didn’t want him to hit you. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Yeah, I did,” he replied solemnly. He looked over at me and asked, “How are you holding up? You’ve been on an emotional roller coaster today.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay, I guess. I’m kinda in shock, I think.”
“Well you need to get your thoughts together before we get home because Ash is gonna want some answers.”
“Answers about what?” I asked. My head felt like it was going to explode.
“About you and him, about you and Rat, about where you all stand… I’m sure he’s just as confused as you are, sweetheart. One minute y’all are singing love songs to each other, making goo-goo eyes, and kissing; the next Rat’s singing I Love You to you and you’re chasing him outside.” He stopped and smiled slightly. “Then we return, I have a bloody face, and you have smoke coming out of your ears. I kinda feel bad for the guy.”
Despite feeling completely emotionally overwhelmed, I couldn’t help but giggle at his simplified version of the previous ninety minutes. It was rather crazy.
“Oh God, Max, what have I done? I’m so sorry I made you a part of all of this. I’m sorry I ruined your friendship with Mason.”
“I said I’m fine, Scarlett. Really. I’ll be okay. How are you feeling about each of them?”
I hesitated before answering as I gathered my thoughts. “I loved Mason… I mean I still love him, you just don’t turn off feelings like that. But way too much has happened for us to ever reconcile. I honestly doubt if I will ever see him again, especially since he’s leaving to go on tour soon. And Ash… well, you know how I’ve always felt. Being around him this last week has just reminded me of why I used to feel the way I did. It was easy to not deal with my feelings for him when I didn’t just have to see him. And after that kiss… that was just… I don’t even know how to put it into words. Being with him feels so natural, so right, but I think I need some time to myself. I mean how would that look going from one relationship right into another?”
“I do think you need some time to yourself, but just let it play out however it feels right. Again, stop worrying about what other people think so much. It’s not like you and Ash just met and you’re jumping into something new. You both acknowledge there was a connection between y’all from the very beginning, and I know that you both loved each other. It may not have been a physical relationship, but you were both emotionally and mentally dependent on one another. Y’all’s relationship was severed without warning; it’s not like you stopped loving one another. You both just got better at hiding it.”
I thought about what he said as we pulled into the parking lot. “You’re right on all accounts. I’m just scared of getting hurt. I don’t know if I can go through it again. Between Ash the first time and everything that has happened with Mason, I’m afraid I’m predestined for heart ache.”
“Fate will find a way sweetheart. Our happily ever afters are coming.” He turned off the car and smiled one of his precious Maxi smiles that I loved so much.
“I like that. Fate will find a way.” I leaned across the seat and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you, Max. You’re the best. I owe you my sanity... and my entire next paycheck,” I said in an attempt to lighten the somber mood.
We both chuckled as we got out of the car and waited for Ash to join us. I watched him as he crossed the pavement and a calmness settled over me. He looked so different in the dress clothes compared to his usual shorts and t-shirts or hoodies. I couldn’t help but stare at the tattoo on his forearm, peeking out from his rolled up sleeves. The names Eros and Psyche stared back at me, reminding me of what all they had to go through to be together. But in the end, fate found its way and they were rewarded with her immortal love. I sighed aloud as I wondered what fate had in store for me.
After we got in the apartment, Max went straight to the shower to get cleaned up and told us he was going to bed afterwards. Ash followed me back to my room and sat down on the bed. I sat down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder.
“It was awful. Absolutely awful,” I said just barely above a whisper.
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me snug up against his side. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about it. No rush. I know it’s been a crazy day for you.”
“No, I want to get it out while it’s fresh in my head. I know my emotions are really raw, but after what happened between us tonight, I think we need to talk about it,” I said as I relaxed a bit next to him.
I knew I needed to be as honest as I could so I recapped the conversation for him as best as I could remember it. Unfortunately, it didn’t get any easier stomaching some of the words that Mason and I had exchanged the second time around. When I finished the recap, Ash asked me how I was feeling at that exact moment.
“Confused,” I replied. That was the best word that I could think of to describe the multitude of thoughts and feelings that were bouncing around in my head.
“That’s to be expected Scarlett. It’s gonna take some time to process it all. I’m sorry that I kissed you tonight.”
I pulled back away from him and looked at him questioningly. “Why do you say that?” No girl ever wants a guy to apologize for kissing her.
“Because if I’d had known you were going to deal with all of this other stuff, I wouldn’t have complicated things for you. You know how I feel about you Scarlett; I told you that day in the music shop, but I don’t ever want to cause you additional stress or cause more problems. I know now is not the right time for this… for the possibility of an us… but tonight, I just couldn’t help myself,” he said as he ran his fingers through his long blonde hair, clearly frustrated.
“It’s okay Ash. You didn’t know that he was gonna show up,” I said as I put my hand on his arm, hoping to comfort him. “And I was standing up there... I felt it too. I always feel it when I’m around you. Always have.”
He turned to face me, as we both sat on the bed still in our dress clothes, and cocked his head slightly. “Really? You really feel it?”
The ways his blue eyes bore into mine, I felt like he was looking in to my soul. Instantly all other thoughts and memories of the night vanished from my head, and the only thing I could concentrate on was sitting right next to me. I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and nodded my head. He glanced down at his arm and I followed suit. My hand that I had put on his arm to soothe him was rubbing the Eros & Psyche butterfly tattoo on his forearm. We both looked back up at one another and surrendered ourselves to the moment. I couldn’t have resisted if I wanted to.
He closed the small gap between our faces and brushed his lips lightly across mine before pulling back slightly to gage my response. Closing my eyes, I leaned towards him and was quickly met with his mouth on mine. This time his kiss was much more firm ~ demanding and almost desperate. His tongue teased my lower lip, tracing it, and then nibbling ever so slightly. Moaning, I parted my lips, allowing him entrance to my mouth. Our tongues tangled together as we lost ourselves in a kiss for the second time that day.
ASH
Kissing Scarlett at the wedding was wonderful… amazing even; however, when our lips touched as we sat there on her bed, the voice in my head screamed so loudly, the reverberations could be felt in the furthest tips of my toes. I had known from the moment I laid eyes on her that she was my future… my forever… my happily ever after. Unfortunately, we both needed to conquer some personal issues before it could be right for us to be together.
Now that I had finally dealt with the demon that was my father and his influence, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, and was ready to give myself to her… completely and whole-heartedly. I knew it had only been a week since the Mason bombshell had been dropped on her, but from listening to her explain how things had been the previous month, it seemed that they had been drifting apart with the physical distance between them.
Feeling her skin on my skin, her lips on my lips, I was aroused instantly. I knew that we were a long way from that, if ever, but fuck if I couldn’t help myself. I had waited so long to have her next to me, to touch her again, that at first contact I was hard. Reluctantly, I ended the kiss, knowing if I didn’t do it quickly, I may not be able to control my actions. Even after I had pulled back from her a bit, she kept her eyes closed, and I caressed her face ever-so-lightly. The whimper that I heard her try to hide nearly sent me over the edge, but not wanting to ruin what we were slowly rebuilding before it ever had a chance, I backed up a little more.
“Butterfly, let’s shower and get you ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”
She opened her eyes and I could see the desire looming her warm caramel-colored eyes. Even though I knew we couldn’t do anything about it right then, knowing she felt it too sent me over the moon.
“Will you stay here with me tonight?” she whispered. “Sleep with me like we used to do?”
Like there was any chance I was gonna say no to her for anything, especially not that. It was gonna be a huge fucking test of self-control, but I was up for the challenge. “Of course. Whatever you need or want. I’m yours.”
After we both had showered, and I had borrowed some clothes from Max, we lay down in bed and she snuggled up next to my body like we hadn’t been separated over the previous twelve months. I slung my arm around her waist, and pulled her closer to me. Without trying to seem too much like a weirdo, I sniffed her hair, remembering the fruity concoctions that she always smelled like. I smiled to myself as I settled myself onto the pillow and within minutes I was off in dreamland.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
LOVE
Madness ~ Muse
I’m Yours ~ Jason Mraz
SCARLETT
Waking up covered in all things Ash took me straight back to the numerous nights I had spent in his bed the year before ~ his arms holding me securely against his body, his legs tangled in mine, his masculine scent filling my nostrils, his morning erection pressing into my back. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my mind and to ignore the desire spreading throughout my body. I knew that I was both emotionally and physically needy from not just the last week, but the last month that I had been by myself; however, that didn’t stop the memory of our kiss from just a few hours prior from flooding my mind.