In response to my question, Sloane shook her head, but I noticed her running a hand lightly over a white top marked with a trio of artistic purple blotches.
“Try it on,” Judd suggested gruffly. Logically, a sixty-year-old retired marine shouldn’t have been able to fade into the background in a high-end boutique, but Judd had been standing still enough that I’d almost forgotten he was there. Agent Sterling had drafted him to accompany us, for safety.
I truly did not want to think what might come of Michael and Dean being left in the suite alone.
“Only seventy-one percent of visitors to Las Vegas play the odds while they’re here,” Sloane said, drawing her hand back from the light, silky fabric of the shirt. “More and more, people are coming for the shopping.”
Lia picked up the top Sloane was looking at. “You’re trying it on,” she informed her. “Or I’m reneging on Cassie’s offer of espresso.”
Sloane frowned. “Can she do that?”
It quickly became apparent that, yes, Lia could. After Lia dragged Sloane to the dressing room, Judd turned to me. “You don’t see anything you like?” he asked.
“Not yet,” I said. In truth, I wasn’t feeling much like shopping. I’d agreed with Agent Sterling when she’d said we needed to get Sloane out of the suite. I wanted to be there for my roommate, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep from wondering what the UNSUB was doing right now.
Why did you escalate? Why did you stop?
I forced myself to pick a dress up off a nearby rack. It was simple: an A-line cut in a brilliant, royal blue. It wasn’t until I’d joined Lia and Sloane in the dressing room and tried it on that I realized it was the exact same shade as the shawl that had been wrapped around what were, in all likelihood, my mother’s remains.
“Dance it off.” My mom is wrapped in a royal blue scarf, her red hair damp from cold and snow as she flips the car radio on and turns it up.
This time, I couldn’t fight the memory. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“You can do better than that,” she tells me, glancing over from the driver’s seat, where she’s dancing up a storm.
I’m six or seven, and it’s so early in the morning that I can barely keep my eyes open. Part of me doesn’t want to dance it off this time.
“I know,” my mom says over the music. “You liked the town and the house and our little front yard. But home isn’t a place, Cassie. Home is the people who love you most.” She pulls over to the side of the highway. “Forever and ever,” she murmurs, brushing the hair away from my face. “No matter what.”
“No matter what,” I whisper, and she smiles, one of those slow-spreading, mysterious smiles that make me smile, too. The next thing I know, she’s turned the music up as loud as it can go, and the two of us are out of the car, and we’re dancing, right there on the side of the highway, in the snow.
“Cassie?” Lia’s voice snapped me back to the present. For once, her voice was gentle.
We don’t know the body is her, I thought, not for a fact. But staring at myself in the mirror, I didn’t believe that. My eyes popped against the blue of the dress. My hair looked a deeper, almost jewel-toned auburn.
“That really is your color,” Lia told me.
It was my mother’s color, too, I thought. If a person had known my mother, had loved her, had thought she was beautiful—this was the color they would have buried her in.
Her necklace. Her color. An odd numbness descended over my body, my limbs heavy and my tongue thick in my mouth. I took the dress off and made my way back to the front of the store. Across the promenade, there was an old-fashioned candy shop. I fell back on the habits of my childhood, people-watching and telling myself stories about the customers.
The woman buying herself lemon drops just broke up with her boyfriend. The boys looking at candy cigarettes hope their mother doesn’t realize they’ve tried the real thing. The little girl staring at a lollipop as big as her head missed her nap this afternoon.
My phone rang. I answered, still watching the little girl across the way. She didn’t reach for the lollipop. She just stared at it, solemn-eyed and still.
“Hello?”
“Cassie.”
It took me longer to recognize my father’s voice than it would have taken me to recognize Sterling’s or Briggs’s.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, my throat closing in around the words, my mind awash in all the things I’d been trying to forget. “Now really isn’t a good time.”
Across the way, the solemn-eyed little girl eyeing the lollipop was joined by her father. He held out his hand. She took it. Simple. Easy.
“I was just calling to see how you’re doing.”
My father was trying. I could see that—but I could also see the ease with which the man across the way hoisted his little daughter onto his shoulders. She was three, maybe four years old. Her hair was red, brighter than mine, but it was easy enough to picture myself at that age.
I hadn’t even known I had a father.
“I’m okay,” I said, turning my back on the scene across the way. I didn’t need to know whether or not the father would surprise his daughter with the lollipop. I didn’t need to see the way she looked at him.
“I got a call from the police this morning.” My father had a naturally deep voice.
So you weren’t just calling to see if I was okay.