The coin goes still in my hand. “What?”
“You heard me. You’ve got too much shit here, Luke. I know you try and act like you don’t care about your dad, but you obviously do. You’ve always gone to the bar to stop him from drinking, or wherever the hell he is when someone calls you. He’s your dad. He may be the worst one on the fucking planet, but he wasn’t always like that.”
“He’s not the reason why I wouldn’t take it.”
“Yeah, and then there’s that,” Ben replies, leaning back and grabbing his cup. He looks down at the contents, a loud exhale escaping him before he continues. “You two have a lot of shit you need to work out. I’ve told you how I felt about it, so I’m not going to sit here and lecture you. But if you left…” He seems pained as his eyes slowly lift to mine. “I can handle my sister being sad over you, but I don’t want to see what that would do to her.”
I feel my hand slowly tighten around the coin.
I don’t want to see what that would do to me.
“Plus,” he continues, dropping the serious tone and replacing it with the one I’m used to hearing as he looks past me, “I’d prefer to keep my partner. He’s an asshole, but at least I’m not stuck with Jacobs.”
I swivel my chair to see CJ walking into the precinct, his dickhead partner trailing behind him. CJ looks how you’d expect a person to look if they were stuck in a car all day with Jacobs. Irritated and spent. Ben laughs quietly behind me as CJ nods in our direction, while Jacobs can’t seem to decide whom he wants to give a dirtier look to, Ben or myself. I prop my feet up on the corner of my desk and scratch my cheek with my middle finger.
“Dick,” Jacobs addresses me as he walks in front of the desks.
I almost forget what smiling feels like until my lips twitch in the corner.
It’s a good feeling, and after Tessa leaves with me tonight, I’ll be doing more of it.
***
I’d gotten to McGill’s early, beating everyone and claiming a stool at the bar. I know what it feels like seeing Tessa with another guy, and the effects are already beginning to set in as I pick at the label on the beer I’ve been nursing for the past half hour. I’m trying to stay somewhat calm, but my eyes are glued to the door and every time it swings open, the air in my lungs gets stolen from me. As another group of women step inside, I pinch my eyes shut and reclaim my breath.
Jesus Christ. Calm the fuck down, Evans.
“You want another beer?”
My eyes flash open and connect with the bartender. I lift my nearly empty bottle and nod. “Yeah, thanks.”
He sets another Coors Light down in front of me just as a hand slaps me in between my shoulder blades. I look over as Reed grabs the stool next to me.
“Hey, man. I said seven o’clock, right? How long you been here?”
I look behind him, letting my eyes sweep across the crowd. “Are you by yourself?”
“Yeah.” He motions for the bartender. “Why?” He lifts his head and smiles. “Oh, right. Tessa. You know she’s bringing some Aussie, right?”
I wait ’til he orders his beer before I answer. “She’s leaving with me.”
He breathes a laugh before taking a swig of his beer. “Yeah, all right. Chicks love accents, and you don’t have one. You’d be better off grabbing yourself another pussy and making her jealous.”
“How’s he supposed to do that when you’ve already claimed every snatch in here?”
I look up from my beer as Ben slides two stools over, putting one closer to the corner of the bar that Reed is sitting at and helping Mia up on the other one.
She smiles at him before her lips pull down in disgust. “I hate that word.”
“What word?” Reed asks as Ben takes his seat.
“Snatch,” she replies, making a distasteful face. “I’d prefer pussy over snatch, and I really don’t like that word either.”
“You liked that word last night.” Ben drops his head and buries his face in her hair.
The blush spreads across her cheeks as she slides a card across the bar, her other hand pushing against Ben’s chest, although she doesn’t really seem to want him to back off. “Here. Happy Birthday, Reed.”
Reed swipes the card off the bar with enthusiasm. “Aw, babe. You shouldn’t have.” Ben straightens up, snapping his head in the direction of Reed who shifts on his stool. “Kidding. Jesus.” He tears open the card and pulls out a folded up piece of construction paper, covered in crayon drawings. One of the stick figures has the words Uncle Weed underneath. “Ben, you can’t draw for shit, man.”
Mia laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. “It’s from Nolan, ass.”
“Nah, really? I couldn’t tell.”
Ben nearly shoves Reed off his stool before Reed tucks the card back into the envelope. “Tell him I said thanks. His pictures get me laid all the time.”
“What?” I ask, looking between the envelope on the bar and Ben, who seems as confused as I am.
Reed nods through a swallow, setting his beer down. “Yeah, women love thinking I have a kid. They eat that shit up.”
“Give me that.” Ben slams his hand down on the card and slides it in front of himself. “My kid isn’t getting you laid tonight.”
“No matter. I got a picture of him in my wallet I can always use.”
I shake my head as a loud laugh grabs my attention across the room. Three girls walk through the door, announcing their arrival with the different octaves of cackles emanating from each of them. The door nearly closes before it’s pulled open again, and everything around me fades as red hair fills my line of sight.
I swallow hard as she nervously chews on her bottom lip, sweeping her eyes across the crowd until they finally land on me. Her feet become glued to the floor as she stops in the middle of the bar, but she stumbles forward when someone pushes into her back. I look behind her as a guy drops his head closer to her ear, way too fucking close, and she nods once, her eyes meeting his briefly before moving with him toward Mia’s side of the bar.
The blood in my veins feels like jet fuel that’s just been lit, burning me up from the inside out. Sweat pools at the base of my neck as I wrap my hand around the chilled beer bottle—I need something to counter the heat surging through me.
I only see Tessa.
There has to be at least fifty people in this bar, including the asshole she’s arrived with, but it’s just her and me in this room. The dress she has on shows off the flawless skin of her chest, plunging low enough for me to see the top of her cleavage. I know what that spot tastes like, the feel of her hands holding my head as I slide my tongue over her skin, consuming and claiming, which is exactly what I want to be doing right now. Her green eyes appear bigger, the color more pronounced as she moves closer, meeting my gaze every other step. I know she’s nervous by the way her bottom lip is being tortured, that and the fact that her hand keeps tucking the same strand of hair behind her ear, even though it hasn’t moved. She’s putting as much distance between her and me as possible while still joining the group, but it wouldn’t matter if she were on the other side of the fucking planet right now. Every part of me is reacting to her, some more than others as I drop a hand to my lap.