Ali nodded. “She was really nice, though, Han.”
Hanna looked pained. “Maybe she was, I don’t know. But Kate’s wearing one of those bikinis that goes up her butt. It’s not like my dad would let me wear one of those.”
It’s not like you’d look good in one of those, either, Ali thought, but she didn’t dare say it. Kate was thin, the kind of girl who could expose a bit of butt cheek and drive boys wild. While Hanna wasn’t fat, she wasn’t the type of girl who could pluck a pair of jeans off the rack and buy them without trying them on. And she was painfully aware of it, too—always pinching the excess flesh on her belly, always looking around at the other girls in the locker room enviously, always the last to pull off her shirt at the country club or on the beach.
Ali’s gaze drifted to the food detritus on the coffee table. “Bingeing isn’t the answer, Han.”
Hanna shook her head vigorously. “No. I only did that once, Ali. I swear. Some of this was left over from my mom last night.”
Ali crossed her arms over her chest. It was such a lie—Hanna’s mom was stick-thin, did yoga religiously, and ate a macrobiotic diet. “You can tell me, Han. You’ve gone through a lot lately. Cassie was telling me about a friend who binged—she did it to regain control.”
Hanna turned away and started fiddling with her pen. “I’m fine, Ali. I don’t have a problem.”
Ali felt annoyance rise inside her. Wasn’t she good enough to confide in? She held Hanna’s gaze, waiting for her to admit the truth, but Hanna just flicked the tassels on her loafers. Ali dropped her hand. “Fine,” Ali said briskly. “You don’t have a problem.”
“You didn’t tell anyone about Annapolis, did you?” Hanna asked suddenly.
A mysterious smile spread across Ali’s lips. She waited a few beats, watching as panic flooded Hanna’s face. Then she squeezed Hanna’s hand hard. “Of course I didn’t, silly. My lips are sealed—I promise.”
Ali’s phone rang. She broke her gaze from Hanna and reached for it in her bag. Unknown Caller, said the screen. Ali frowned. She answered, pressing the phone to her ear.
All she could hear was breathing on the other end. “Hello?” Ali said again. “Hello?”
Hanna lowered her brow, watching Ali carefully. Ali turned away, her heart speeding up. All at once, she had a horrible feeling who the person on the other end might be.
“Hello?” she said once more, wandering into the hall. More breathing. “Is this you?” she whispered, picturing her sister sitting on one of those ugly Preserve couches, smiling into the receiver. But patients at the Preserve weren’t allowed to make phone calls, right? Had they changed the rules? Or was she out on one of her “chaperoned” visits?
There was a little sniff on the other end of the line, followed by a click. Ali stared at the call time flashing on the screen until her vision blurred.
“Ali?”
She jumped and whirled around. Hanna stood at the end of the hall, a crumpled-up chip bag in her hands. “Is everything okay?” she asked. “Who was that?”
Ali stared down at her phone, worried for a brief flash that Hanna might know everything. Then she straightened up and pushed her hair over her shoulder. “Just a stupid prank call,” she said breezily. “Probably some kid who has a crush on me.”
“Oh, definitely,” Hanna said, giving Ali a quick smile.
Ali walked to the TV and flicked it on, wanting to forget what had just happened. Hanna was all too eager to plop down beside her, probably relieved to let things drop, too. But as they flipped through the channels, all Ali could see was herself lying in a spare hospital bed at the Preserve. Tied down, as they used to do at the Radley to girls who got too upset.
I know what you’ve been doing, her sister’s voice echoed in her mind. Say your good-byes.
14
2 GOOD + 2 BE = 4 GOTTEN
The following day, the girls cruised up and down the aisles of Saks. The store was tastefully lit with recessed lights on signature pieces, and the walls were painted in black-and-white stripes. Dance music pumped out of hidden speakers, and thin, pretty salesgirls floated around the room with warm smiles on their faces. But Ali’s favorite thing about Saks was that it always smelled like they were inside a perfume factory. No other department store smelled as good.
Hanna plucked a quilted Chanel purse from a shelf. “This. Definitely.” The girls were playing their favorite game: What Would You Buy If You Had All the Money in the World?
“Really?” Ali made a face. “That’s so grandmotherly.”
Hanna looked horrified and dropped it. “Uh, I picked up the wrong one. I meant this.” She showed her a red Louis Vuitton. Ali nodded her approval, and Hanna smiled with relief.
“I’m into this one,” Emily said, holding up a Chloé satchel. “Can’t you just see me carrying this to school?”
“That’s gorgeous,” Ali said, sighing. “I wish I’d seen it first.”
Emily pushed it toward her. “You take it. I can pick something else.”
Ali rolled her eyes. “It’s just a game, Emily.” She selected a Dior satchel from the wall. “I’ll make do with this.”
“Can I help you, girls?” a saleswoman asked behind them. She raised an eyebrow when she saw the luxury pieces in their hands. Ali glanced at the others, and they burst out laughing, then dropped everything and scampered away.
“Let’s go to Contemporary,” Ali announced. “I actually want to spend some money today.”