I swung over the side of my convertible's door and slipped into the seat and fired it up to life. I gripped the wheel hard, as the urge to leave a burnout streak going up the immaculately concrete stamped driveway became an almost overpowering urge.

I gave up on that childish notion and looked heavenward and said, "I just don't understand!"

Sighing, I put the car in gear and started out fast, but with no black streak of tires left behind. In search of inspiration I switched the radio onto a Christian station I listened to in this area. An old song came on and the words hit me hard.

"I just don't understand. These lies I've been living……………."

I shook my head, as the words of the song echoed over and over in my head. There had to be a reason as to why all this was happening. I just had to find out what it was and perhaps find some redemption in the situation, if that was still even an option.

Regardless of what anyone said or thought I knew what the truth was and so did God.

Chantry sipped from his fourth glass of wine. He couldn't handle the effects of alcohol anymore and he knew he'd pay later for this overindulgence on his part, but right now he was drowning his sorrows. Today had been awful!

The sight of the genuine hurt and betrayal in Utah's eyes had made his soul cringe, but it had proved something about the young man and that was that he could be trusted.

The glass of wine was pulled from Chantry's fingers and dumped into the shrubbery, along with the rest of the bottle. Chantry looked up into Maria's unsmiling face of poised beauty. She wasn't happy with him, even perhaps a little mad at him. She was always silent, when she was truly mad.

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Chantry sighed and looked back down. He knew he frustrated her when he didn't take care of himself, but what was the point of living if one couldn't overindulge a little. Still it had been foolish of him to drink so much and in some ways he felt like a disciplined little boy beneath the intensity of her harsh glare.

Maria turned to go, but Chantry feebly caught at her hand, "Please stay! I'm sorry about breaking my word about the drinking."

Maria sighed, but turned back around, "You've got to take better care of yourself! The world, this Agency, still needs your guiding influence!"

Over the years Chantry and Maria had drawn very close to each other. Chantry wondered if she had avoided adding to her statement of how much she needed him yet. Maria was a serious person and not the type that made many friends, but everyone needed someone to confide in and for Maria it had always been him.




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